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4 1/2 year old fickle with friends  

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
Is this normal behaviour for this age group? My ds who is 4 1/2 just started JK this September. Seems like every few weeks he will be "best friends" with another child or two, only to 'stop' being their friend later on. Example: He started off with a circle of friends and slowly one by one each is eliminated from the group or he will decide that he is "no longer" so and so's friend. Just yesterday his good friend from day 1 (and who also lives across from us) had a "potty accident" at school. Of course all the other kids (mine included) were holding their noses and going "Ewwwwww" Now my son has decided that he is not this little boy's friend anymore.:

I've tried explaining to him that we don't throw away our friends like garbage, and how do you think your little friend felt when he had the potty accident in front of the whole classroom and how his friend must be feeling very sad and embarrassed.

I know my son isn't the only one who does this, cause he told me that one of his friends in school does not want to sit nex to HIM anymore, because she choose not to be his friend. But he seemed okay with that.

Maybe I'm just waaay too old to remember being 4 years old, but honestly, I don't recall going through friends like that when I was his age. Is this common in this age group????
post #2 of 4
Very developmentally normal. At this age, "friend" = "child who I'm playing with right now". "Right now" could be this week, this hour, this month.

I would work on giving him other phrases to say "Oh, you mean you don't want to play with X right now? Oh, OK. Maybe next week you'll want to play with her again."
post #3 of 4
Thread Starter 
LynnS6, Thnx for the advice. That sounds like a good strategy
post #4 of 4
ITA that it is appropriate. However, I think keeping him in a place where he is kind to people IS appropriate.

If he doesn't want to play with a particular child (esp. one who is also a neighbor), it's ok, but he needs to be simple and kind about it. Telling YOU, rather than the child, for example, that he isn't in the mood to play with them today, or that there is soemthing he would like to do alone right then, etc.

What is the teacher/school's strategy for when this occurs in the classroom?
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