No puberty yet

[strawberry_dancer]

My DD is going through a really tough time right now because she is much less developed than her classmates. She turns 13 in just a few short months. We've talked about puberty and everything that goes with that but for the most part she keeps to herself about her body and i don't press for information. But the other day she came to me in tears. Kids at school have been making fun of her for her lack of chest and hips. She told me she was tired of being the only girl in class who "has not hit puberty." I convinced her to let me see her naked and sure enough she doesn't have any signs of puberty. I'll confess it was surprising to me. I expected at least a few wisps of pubic hair. I assured her that she was normal and her body would "sprout" soon enough. But now i am thinking we should make a doctor appointment just to be on the safe side. Anybody have any experience with late bloomers?

[Iris' Mom]

How old were you when you hit puberty?

[strawberry_dancer]

Originally Posted by Iris' Mom

How old were you when you hit puberty?

I was about 11 when i first started. Perhaps she gets it from her father's side?

[terrordactyl]

i was the exact opposite when i was younger hit puberty in about the 4th grade so like 10 it sucked just as much but i remember girls her age who hadn't hit puberty yet. i think she's fine. but it might worry her less if you took her to a doctor to reassure her she's fine

[journeymom]

If I understand correctly, early age at menarche and late age at menopause are risk factors for breast cancer. So the later the better! Yeah, I know, you don't care about that when your 12.

Let her know about the other end of the spectrum. Girls who are already developed when they're 12 have to deal with attention from older boys and even men. Most girls that age aren't mature enough to deal with that.

======

And for what it's worth, I think she's pretty normal. I didn't get my period till I was 13.

[happyhippiemama]

I didn't start getting hair until I was almost 13. I started my period at age 16. I never did develop breasts.

[Marsupialmom]

Does she have no signs? No growth spurt---taller than boys? No thinker hair on her legs? No undearm or pubic hairs?

If she has nothing then a physical might be helpful. Hearing from a doctor that she is normal might help you both go through this stage.

[bumblebeej]

Originally Posted by happyhippiemama

I never did develop breasts.

laughup That's cute. I had to gain like 80 pounds to grow boobs. :

[sniffmommy]

I was a little girl FOREVER...

Or so it seemed. I didn't start my period until I was almost 15. I didn't get pubic hair until late in my 16th year, and I didn't get breasts until I was about 17, and that was a VERY SLOW process.
I was taunted by other kids, but what bugged me most was that I was treated like I was a slow bloomer intellectually too, which drove me CRAZY. Just because I didnt have boobs, didn't mean that I thought like an 11 year old!
Anyway, I don't think you need to worry or worry her until she is out of the spectrum of normal. It can be so hard emotionally, but things that helped me were my parents let me dress according to my level, so at 13 I was allowed to wear tasteful make-up and high heels to church. It eased the pain a little.
Oh, this made me remember a funny/horrible story. You can share this with her.
I was in gym class and I had on a sweatshirt, but I didn't have on a bra, because I didn't need or own one. We were outside playing a tag-like game, when someone grabbed my shirt sleeve, and SWOOP, my shirt came all the way off. There I stood in front of my 7th grade gym class, my MALE gym teacher and our 9th grade MALE teacher's aide. I dropped to the ground and the girls made a circle around me while I got dressed again. I thought life was OVER. I got to the locker bays and everyone was talking about it. I went home and cried and cried to my mom saying I could never go back to school. She apologized to me for not knowing that I might need a bra, or something...so we went out that night and she got me training bras. I didn't need a real bra for years but it made me feel much more confident. The next day at school no one said anything.
Doing things to her appearance, like a more mature hairstyle, wearing deoderant, even pantyliners can help her feel less different. Boosting her confidence can make up some for some of the less sensitive comments. (IMO )

[mommahhh]

Late puberty is awful. I didn't get my period until I was 17. I had no breasts at all until 16. Totally flat. In grade 9 I was teased about that fact until I went out and bought a padded bra. But the whole thing seriously affected my self esteem. My mom took me to the doctor in grade 7 and grade 9, and both times he said I was ok, just on a slower schedule.

The padded bra really did start making me feel better. No one teased me anymore and I looked "normal".

[Meg_s]

I'd suggest helping her pick out clothing styles to make her look curvier, and have a few other grooming tips to look more mature so it's not ALL body, you know? Like stylish hair and face can make a girl look older, and so can boobs and hips on a babyface. Yeah we should all love our bodies and so on, but you can love your body and still cry because other people are mean to you about it. Incorporate the wardrobe gradually so other people don't notice a sudden change, because that too will be teased over.

[strawberry_dancer]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmom

Does she have no signs? No growth spurt---taller than boys? No thinker hair on her legs? No undearm or pubic hairs?

If she has nothing then a physical might be helpful. Hearing from a doctor that she is normal might help you both go through this stage.

Yeah, no signs yet... although she does seem to have gotten a bit taller lately, so i guess that is a positive sign. And those were my thoughts exactly about the doctor visit. I agree.

[strawberry_dancer]

Originally Posted by sniffmommy

Or so it seemed. I didn't start my period until I was almost 15. I didn't get pubic hair until late in my 16th year, and I didn't get breasts until I was about 17, and that was a VERY SLOW process.
I was taunted by other kids, but what bugged me most was that I was treated like I was a slow bloomer intellectually too, which drove me CRAZY. Just because I didnt have boobs, didn't mean that I thought like an 11 year old!
Anyway, I don't think you need to worry or worry her until she is out of the spectrum of normal. It can be so hard emotionally, but things that helped me were my parents let me dress according to my level, so at 13 I was allowed to wear tasteful make-up and high heels to church. It eased the pain a little.
Oh, this made me remember a funny/horrible story. You can share this with her.
I was in gym class and I had on a sweatshirt, but I didn't have on a bra, because I didn't need or own one. We were outside playing a tag-like game, when someone grabbed my shirt sleeve, and SWOOP, my shirt came all the way off. There I stood in front of my 7th grade gym class, my MALE gym teacher and our 9th grade MALE teacher's aide. I dropped to the ground and the girls made a circle around me while I got dressed again. I thought life was OVER. I got to the locker bays and everyone was talking about it. I went home and cried and cried to my mom saying I could never go back to school. She apologized to me for not knowing that I might need a bra, or something...so we went out that night and she got me training bras. I didn't need a real bra for years but it made me feel much more confident. The next day at school no one said anything.
Doing things to her appearance, like a more mature hairstyle, wearing deoderant, even pantyliners can help her feel less different. Boosting her confidence can make up some for some of the less sensitive comments. (IMO )

Yikes! I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I can't imagine what it must have been like to watch all your friends become women after all those years yet have your own body remain childlike. It does give me some insight into what my DD might be feeling so thanks! My DD is taking gym class this year which has been really hard for her because of changing in the locker room and all that. It's no fun being all exposed like that, especially at her age! I did get her a training bra though. So we can avoid your embarrassing moment! It is good we can look back and laugh at these things.

[strawberry_dancer]

You have given me some solid advice so far! Thanks.

[WeasleyMum]

Another late-bloomer here. I didn't get any signs of puberty until 9th grade, when they all came at once; I grew 4 inches, gained 20 pounds (much-needed, went from 95-115), grew some boobs and hips, and started my periods. About darn time, is what I remember thinking.

I don't really have any advice for your daughter as far as the other girls though-- just wanted her to know that plenty of us develop later than average. Just out of curiosity, how much does she weigh? Is she very thin? I read an interesting theory that puberty is linked more to weight than to age, which is why so many young girls are developing in 4th or 5th grade now-- according to this theory 100 pounds is a turning point. A lot of kids are hitting that mark-- which could be considered an adult weight-- very early, while some don't until much later, like me.

[flight]

I'll join the late-bloomer club too. I was short and small and also had no signs of puberty at 13. I weighed maybe 95 pounds and was 11% body fat (we were learning about it in Phys Ed, and you had the choice to find out what your body fat percentage was.) I was/am always very small-busted--I wore training bras and soft-cup bras all the way through high school. I certainly didn't need them for anything like support until some time after I got my period. I didn't get my period until 5 months before my 15th birthday. As for body hair...what body hair? At 15 I was still only shaving every 2 months or so!

So yeah, maybe you could read her these responses; maybe it will help reassure her that she's still normal. (Of course it won't stop the kids at school from teasing her.) I liked the suggestions to gradually introduce other symbols of maturity, like makeup, heeled shoes, and clothes cut to give the appearance of boobs and hips.

[motheringforme]

I didn't start my period until high school. I remember having to change for PE in 7th grade. I did my best to change in the bathroom instead of in front of everyone because I had no need for a bra. Now that I'm pregnant, I finally have the boobs I desired in middle school!

[im18]

Originally Posted by strawberry_dancer

My DD is going through a really tough time right now because she is much less developed than her classmates. She turns 13 in just a few short months. We've talked about puberty and everything that goes with that but for the most part she keeps to herself about her body and i don't press for information. But the other day she came to me in tears. Kids at school have been making fun of her for her lack of chest and hips. She told me she was tired of being the only girl in class who "has not hit puberty." I convinced her to let me see her naked and sure enough she doesn't have any signs of puberty. I'll confess it was surprising to me. I expected at least a few wisps of pubic hair. I assured her that she was normal and her body would "sprout" soon enough. But now i am thinking we should make a doctor appointment just to be on the safe side. Anybody have any experience with late bloomers?

my daughter is turning 18 and her breasts is not developing and she is not having her period yet. but there was a time when she experienced blood spot in her undies. i really feel bad for her because shes in college now taking up BSN and she really feels different and ashamed of it...

[ank220]

There is A LOT of sexual pressure for kids nowadays, and I know that can be tough. Everyone develops at different rates, however, and she may just be a slow bloomer. If you are truly concerned, talk to her pediatrician. They can do some blood work to check up on her hormones, etc...

My dd started her period at 10 (and just barely 10)! Now, at 11 y.o., she looks like an average 16 y.o. - and it is VERY scary because of all the "attention" she tends to get.

[im18]

really? your breasts did not develop? what do you think about ny daughter? shes turning 18 next yr yet she still do not have her period and her breasts is not developing.. this is for happyhippiemama