Originally Posted by simplemama
This thread has gotten me a bit worried. My 14 month old ds has a bad cough and I don't know what to think. I feel so helpless sometimes when my kids get sick because I am faced with fear of going to doctors and being persuaded to use something for my child that in reality may not really be the best solution. We also don't vax and I know if we went to the doctor/emergency room that we would get a lot of flak for that. My 4 yo dd had it and it seems to be gone for the most part. She had 2-3 days of 100-101 temps and it took 5-6 days I'd say for her to be back to normal. Now ds has had the cough for maybe 4 days and had a 99.7 temp today with a lot of grumpiness-very uncharecteristic. He definitely has some wheezing and gagging. The cough just sounds very congested and I can tell it hurts him when he coughs as he cries each time.
Am I being a bad mom for not taking him in? I've just been using Silver Shield (a good brand of collodial silver) and belladona and I found some children's echinacea today. He hasn't eaten hardly anything except lots of yummy mama's milk and I did give him some water today and yesterday that he liked.
I understand. We never used docs with DD1, well there was one time she was 10m old that she had a 107 temp, that did freak me out and we went in. It turned into a nasty thing because I knew she was ok, but let myself be talked into all the tests, which are all negative and was told it was a virus and to go home and let it run it's course.
Anyway, I just learned more about handling things on my own, and we didn't have a need for docs for several more years. There is a time and place for docs and hospitals though, and I think most of us recognize when it it time to get help.
It can be hard to reach out when you are afraid of the unknown, how your vax stance is going to be taken, etc... This doesn't help right now, but I'd suggest after the holidays trying to track down a doc that you could call if need be. Ask at a LLL meeting, post on the FYT board here, and make an appointment and feel the doc out, just see if that is someone you would be ok with calling when or if you need help. To be honest, I never saw the need for this until my DD became very ill as a newborn. Fortunately I had JUST made a connection with a pedi that my HB MW really liked, and since my MW was very much about breaking the rules, and pretty outspoken about it, I knew if she liked and respected this doc that we'd get along just fine.
We did, and I do not even want to think about the nightmare we could of had if I didn't have a doc that was supportive of my decisions, DD2 ended up being sick for a very long time, we have been in and out of that office probably 25 times in one year.
That still doesn't mean that I still don't have an issue reaching out at times. DD2 has chronic lung disease, the croup was really affecting her airway, we had to go in and get steroid injections so she could breathe easier, it made me a bit nervous. My doc was out for the holidays, I get nervous about the reaction we could get when they hear DD's medical history and the fact she isn't vaxed. Being nervous is ok, sometimes I think it is helpful because it can put you more on edge, and you are more apt to question things.
The more experienced I've become, the more comfortable I've gotten at recognizing when things are out of my comfort level. I'd get nervous before but I think a good portion of it was the fear of "OMG, what if we have to go in, what are they going to say? Is it going to be a huge battle?", I'd stress about that. Now I know I can handle it, and that fear is gone. Like I said before I still get nervous, but I'm not fearful, if that makes sense. I can listen to my gut more.
I also practice minimal response, I don't freely give out info that it not needed. I have also been known to say that we are just delaying for the baby (who is 14m as well), and not giving out my oldest's info. Our doc knows our history and our beliefs, so it's not an issue with her, but with DD2's hospital stays, all the consults with specialists, etc... I fall back on this.
So I guess I'm trying to say that no I don't think you are a bad mom, and if you felt that your DS really needed go in that you would take him, but when it's one of those iffy times, that yes it can be hard to go in. DD2 is awake so off to deal with a very grumpy, whiny toddler.