39 & 2...nothing exciting to report. Feeling sad and grumpy. I was already feeling grumpy and then I found out last night that a dog I rescued back in my college days and took care of for a few years til we were both in danger of being out in the street, just died. He had a great 7 years with the couple found for him, so many adventures with them. BUT he was my dog equivilent of the soulmate, he and I were a perfect match and because of our circumstances we were almost never apart and I've never met another dog that could quite live up to him. Doesn't mean I don't love my dog of course, but she just isn't him. Anyway, point is, I had just renewed contact with them and was thinking of visiting him and then he suddenly passed...so I'm sad. Lame to some I'm sure, but I know there are other animal lovers on here who know exactly what I'm trying to explain.
Anyway, wasn't really planning on posting about that but guess I needed to.
I finally got into my birth pool last night. I didn't even post about all the troubles we were having with our trial run because it was so discouraging and frustrating...short version is we worked on it every night this week and it was only at 9:30 last night that I was able to get in. We'll do another trial run soon that will hopefully be much, much smoother (plus hubby is on board with leaving it blown up so we don't have to bother with that part again). It was comfy and I loved it (la bassine) but had just gotten the dog news so wasn't really mentally into it anymore.
I have to get going, I've had such a weird week and I'm determined to get some stuff done before I leave for my chiro appointment. For some reason once I leave the house it seems to be forever before I get back, I feel like I'm losing all my days by being out, and why is the whole world in such a hurry, I feel like I'm risking my life being out there this week, hence the grumpy...ugh, weird week, weird mental space....just weird. Someone needs to come up with a funny story or something...maybe later I'll just search Shebear posts and read her old posts...so happy her baby has arrived but it is her posts that always cheer me up no matter what, I'm sure the old ones will do it too.
Geeze sorry to be a downer...let me leave on a more positive note. I love my baby, love feeling him/her move around, love that I have been to the pool every day this week, love that baby seems still while I swim but then moves around when I float, almost like baby is saying come on keep going, love that my hubby is working his butt off to do the stuff around the house that has to happen, love that I am relatively comfortable, and I'm perfectly content to wait on baby and don't yet feel like I need to have this baby now, love watching all the baby movement every evening. Life is good even when it feels too raw.
