Pretend play - do you always join in when asked??

[swampangel]

I've been wondering about this with my nearly 5yo who LOVES imaginary play. He often wants me to join in with me and quite honestly, most of the time I really don't want to.

Several of my friends simply don't play that way with their kids. What do you all do? Do you enjoy it? If not, do you do it anyway?

[boatbaby]

I'd love to hear what others say. DS is pretend play 99% of the time. I play along more than I want to or have the energy to. I can't see myself never playing along. But he gets SO demanding and even if I spend most of the day paying full attention to him, and then I say mommy needs to take a 15 minute break and do X now... he gets REALLY upset and whines 'Why won't you play with meeee?"

[mamaw/two]

Honestly, I would like to get more time to play with the kids, be it pretend or art projects or whatever. I get so sick of hearing "Mom, you NEVER play with me!" I homeschool my oldest and try to make sure to read books to all of them everyday, but it seems like between dishes, cooking and laundry there's not as much time for playing as I would like. When I had only one child, I played with her all the time. Sometimes I feel like I'm neglecting the younger two, because they don't get as much as the first one did. Then again, they have each other.

[kirstenb3]

My DD 5.5 loves for me to play "imagination" games with her. I don't have much fun with these games but do try to play with her a few times a week. I tell her that I will play with her for X amount of time and set a timer. This has worked well for us and she will usually go on playing the game we started by herself for up to and hour after I have left the game.

[LynnS6]

I try to do 30 minutes a day. It doesn't happen every day for each child but I try really, really hard.

Part of the reason for this is because of reading I've done (Playful Parenting, The Challenging Child) suggests that this is a really good way to connect with your child and keep that connection strong. 30 minutes a day of "floor time" keeps the connection going. I WOH and so it's important to me to stay connected.

And I will confess that I don't mind pretend play. I love to see how my kids' minds work. Since ds is obsessed with playing with school, it gives me insights into what's going on at school. What happens when kids act out? I act out and find out. What happens when your work is illegible? Write illegibly, and ds writes a note telling me to "rerite this, it's too sloppy!" For dd, it helps me see what issues she's working on too -- family themes, relationships, what it means to be a caretaker.

OK, playing "Tina" (the child at school for ds or the child my dd is taking care of) every day for weeks on end does get old. (And has led me to begin to loathe the name Tina -- apologies to all Tinas out there!)

A side benefit is that they have more patience when I am truly busy. A week ago, I had exams to grade, we had friends coming over to dinner and the house was a disaster. I did not have time to play on Saturday. I explained this to them, and they did not pester me to play. Their cups of attention were full enough to weather a day or two where I didn't play with them.

Now, if I were a SAHM, I would try to do 30 minutes a day, but I'd be comfortable leaving it at that, even though I might theoretically able to do more.

[thismama]

I avoid it like the plague. My child knows I only like to do 'boring stuff.'

[lizabird]

I try to join in when I can. Sometimes I enjoy the prenend play and sometimes I don't. I love when we are together and he comes up with some sort of elaborate plot and lets me go my own way (though many times he has already decided how I should act, so I don't get to pretend, I just become an actor following the director's script, and then it's not as much fun). It's enjoyable to watch the creativity of a young mind.

[Jess A]

Most of the time. There are days I'm really into it, and there are other days that the thought of pretend play makes my skin crawl.

[MtBikeLover]

I do for the most part if they ask. But the usually play together so they don't always ask me to play with them.

I do enjoy pretend play except for when I don't do exactly what they want me to do and they get frustrated. It's not intentional - sometimes I just really don't understand what they want me to do.

[KariM]

I kind of gauge how much of a need it is for my DD and how important anything else that competes is.

Right now, she's the youngest child and gets most of my focus. I spent probably 1/2 my day or more engaged in active play with her and another 1/4 sort of pretending to play. The pretending part is when I'm sewing, but talking with her through her play. I just basically add in to her play conversations with her dolls and toys.

For me the test is how she reacts when I suggest she try the more independent play. If she really fusses and whines I know it's more toward a need than a want.

I try my best to "fill her cup" with interaction early in the day and then I can usually get something else done toward the end of the day.