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I feel so sad, hurt and angry - Page 3

post #41 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by homeschoolingmama View Post
SHE DOESN'T HAVE CHILDREN!!!!!



I had a feeling this was the case when I started reading...and even if she did have kids, totally out of place for her to be so close minded and judgemental. I think that some people forget that opinions are not facts. If she would do everything completely different from you, fine, but that wouldn't make it right.

I too think we have the same SIL. Mine's a schoolteacher to boot, so she *really* knows all the answers

Different is not wrong, but apparently some people didn't get the memo.
post #42 of 51
I'm glad she apologized for overstepping her boundaries -- but I can totally understand that this will be hard for you to get past. This doesn't mean you haven't forgiven her -- just that you're protective of your family and it will take some time for you to be able to trust her again. Not completely trusting, IMO, isn't the same as holding a grudge against someone.

I agree with the pp who said you should let your in-laws speak for themselves, and not assume that their opinion is the same as your SIL's. It could very well be that they expressed some mild reservations to her about homeschooling, and she took it that they were of totally the same mind as her. Or maybe they never said anything -- but she just assumed everyone in her family must see things the same way she does.

And I'm glad you're feeling better!
post #43 of 51
I am so glad she apologized.
post #44 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by homeschoolingmama View Post
Thank you so much everyone for your support! Just when I needed it the most you were there. You guys offer a support that is hard to find anywhere else. You are going through this journey with me and understand where I am coming from and that is comforting! UPDATE: She wrote us an email apologizing and hoping that we can forgive her for overstepping boundaries. I do forgive her and told her so but it is very hard to get past this! Now I know how she AND my inlaws feel about us. I feel very hurt right now. I sent her my homeschooling blog (not much yet but I'll work on it..lol) I told her not to bring up homeschooling again but if she is interested she can read our blog. www.savardhomeiscool.blogspot.com
She said she feels awful and was just concerned about our children. I told her that our house isn't a Desperate Housewives house (can't wait to see what happens with the aftermath of the tornado!!!) but an Everybody Loves Raymond house It is lived in a cozy.
Thank you again so much for being there when I needed it most!
It's ok to be hurt. What sort of person is she? Does she often speak out of turn and apologize, or is she basically a decent person? We all have said things we should not have...and it's not a great idea to carry anger around--especially if your family would benefit from her love.

She made a mistake...she apologized. She spoke to her own brother about her concerns. I hope my children feel they can discuss their worries with thier siblings when they are adults. It's one of the best things about having siblings. It doesn't sound like it was a drag -out fight...just one sister sharing her concerns (however misguided) with her brother.

I would really try to put this behind you if she hasn't shown craziness in the past. If this is a pattern...I can see where you might have major trust issues, and then I would limit contact. Otherwise, I'd take the high road and let her love all of you. People who don't care say nothing.
post #45 of 51
I am SOOOO happy she got right with you all. From now on when she starts down that path again, imagine all your kindred spirits here backing you. Everything you do and say and are is having an impact on her!!! "One raindrop raises the sea!!!!"
post #46 of 51
I'm glad she apologized!

I wouldn't assume that "now you know how all the inlaws feel about us."

SIL could have misinterpreted something small her parents said about your HSing, or she could have made it all up in her head entirely.

She sounds very young and passionate. Jumps into something with both feet and THEN realizes she's made a mistake. I know I've come across as "less than gentle" about environmental issues or "the right way to AP" when I was in college or a brand new mother (I had my first baby at 22). Time has mellowed me.

I wouldn't take any of this too personally- she doesn't sound like she's mellowed out yet.
post #47 of 51
Don't feel too bad, I got into a heated "discussion" with my bachelor brother in law about homeschooling, vax, etc. Apparently I'm doing my kids a disservice because they're "not learning social skills," which is hilarious to me because said bro-in-law is rather socially inept- and went to school his whole life. (He's a computer geek, just like my husband- smart but lacking social skills.)

My brother always tells me how I can better raise my kids. He and his wife have none.

My dad constantly asks my ds if he's looking forward to going to school (and has been aware of our choice to homeschool since ds was about 2, and he's 5 now). Ds finally asked him to stop talking to him about it because it's bothering him.

Some people just...don't...get...it. It's not up to us to homeschool our relatives about the prospects of homeschooling. Some people had such wonderful school experiences that they can't understand why you'd want to "deprive" your child/ren of those same experiences. I was not one of those people. My kids already are ostracized all the time (by strangers, nonetheless, ie- at gymnastics open gym, never having been there before, a group of kids decided to ignore my son- all he did was walk out onto the floor, sigh...) and I am not going to make them suffer for their entire childhood just to please people who THINK they know what's best for my kids.

Cheer up and ignore the woman. She can send you whatever she wants, but if she truly wants to learn about it, it's up to her to learn on her own, suffice it to say.

Leave a bunch of homeschooling books in visible places. They're welcome to read if they'd like.

(I looked further and saw things are better, so good for you guys, I'm glad. I still stand by what I said, lol!)
post #48 of 51
I am so glad she apologized.
post #49 of 51
I am glad she apologized. I would offer very little information to her in the future, and hope that she chills out!
My step sister used to offer me all kinds of advice when my older two were little and she was still single. I think she was about 21 the last time she said anything to me. I usually just said "oh wow, interesting...thanks!" or ignored what she said entirely. Now, she has two kids of her own and she NEVER offers me any advice. In fact, she has asked me for advice a few times...but she and I have VERY different parenting styles, so keeping that factor out of the discussions are important to keeping the peace, really.
Anyway, try not to let it bother you!
post #50 of 51
I made it a point awhile ago to not give a rat's a$$ about anything my family or DH's family says.

Sounds like you might want to do the same. You know best.
post #51 of 51
Next time: "Get pregnant, raise a couple kids, then we'll talk. Would you like some dip?"
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