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Preschool age children in "I am Legend" - Page 6

post #101 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
Actually, we have a (free) sitter whenever we want one. My toddler often stays with my mom while my partner and I go to the movies with our five year old (in fact, he was with her through I am Legend). Our daughter chooses to come with us most of the time, and we love to have her.
I'm still not a fan of the concept, but Jessy, this makes me feel a lot better about your situation. I apologize for making an assumption; I was wrong. If your daughter is free to choose whether to go to the movie or not, it's okay by me. (Not that you care, I'm sure, but just wanted to say, basically, you are right and I was wrong.)
post #102 of 200
I can't imagine too many 5-year-olds who would prefer to stay with a sitter when there is an option of going to the movies with mom and dad instead.
post #103 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
I can't imagine too many 5-year-olds who would prefer to stay with a sitter when there is an option of going to the movies with mom and dad instead.
I would imagine most would prefer to go, but it's nice that they have the choice available to pass on a movie that they are feeling isn't right for them for one reason or another. (Too violent, scary, boring, long, loud, etc.) The option and freedom to choose is good stuff though.
post #104 of 200
Freedom to choose, where appropriate, is a great thing. I guess our impasse here is related to what is developmentally appropriate. I don't think children should be able to choose to engage in things that are developmentally inappropriate.
post #105 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
I guess our impasse here is related to ......... I don't think children should be able to choose to engage in things that are developmentally inappropriate.
Ahh, yes I think that is the impasse. :
post #106 of 200
Quote:
I think parents who say they take their young children to adult movies at the theater for the purpose of "family time" and/or "entertainment" are being disingenuous. We all know the reason. It's because the adults really want to see the movie and cannot arrange for a babysitter.
Wrong. We have a free babysitter available at all times, but sometimes the kids just want to come along. Sometimes they choose to stay with my parents.
post #107 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
I'm still not a fan of the concept, but Jessy, this makes me feel a lot better about your situation. I apologize for making an assumption; I was wrong. If your daughter is free to choose whether to go to the movie or not, it's okay by me. (Not that you care, I'm sure, but just wanted to say, basically, you are right and I was wrong.)
Thank you for saying that, I appreciate it.
post #108 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
I can't imagine too many 5-year-olds who would prefer to stay with a sitter when there is an option of going to the movies with mom and dad instead.
My kid would pick spending time with my mom over just about anything . . . we're not talking about a sitter who ignores the kids and does the bare minimum here.
post #109 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Again - interesting. I wonder why violent action movies always helped me unwind, if they were causing stress hormones to be released, though. I'm very skeptical of studies in this area, because they frequently (always?) seem to run counter to my own experience...
I love action movies too. They totally relax me.

I cannot watch normal kids movies. When I was a kid they were showing Disney movies at our local museum one winter (1 each Saturday) and my babysitter took me thinking it would be a great treat. We had to leave early from each of them because the tension was too great. Like 101 Dalmatians. OMG - she was going to kill the puppies!!! I still can't watch them. The only nightmares I've ever had have been from Lady and the Tramp and Prince of Egypt.

Anyway - I think that every child is different. I think that if the child was scared and wanted to leave - the parents were horrible for not honoring that. But - if the kids like them. Then why not?

I can't watch horror movies. They're too real. But my DH LOVES them. He just LOVES being scared. He also loves roller coasters. So far DD seems to love 'thrills' - like being thrown in the air. But the few times we've started to watch a movie with violence in it (since she was 6 months old) she's gotten upset - so we don't unless she's asleep.
post #110 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
My kid would pick spending time with my mom over just about anything . . . we're not talking about a sitter who ignores the kids and does the bare minimum here.
That's kind of an odd assumption to make. I'd hope that when most of think of sitters, we don't think of someone who ignores the kids and does the bare minimum.
post #111 of 200
this is why DH and I get movies from the library and watch them after at least the oldest kid is in bed.

takes the babysitter out of the equation, the newest library in town has fairly new movies in stock all the time, and we don't have to listen to kids who are in a movie that is way too old for them.

I won't even be taking DS who is 3 to children's movies for at least a couple more years. One, he does not CARE about going to the movie theater. Two, the baby would need a sitter, and three--he enjoys movies, but he is NOT at ALL ready to sit and quietly enjoy one yet. We were watching Ice Age the other night and it was 'look mom, baby's eating watermelon!" etc. etc. He loved it, it was all appropriate---but people do NOT pay good money to listen to my kid yak through a movie. I know this, so we stay home.

THAT is why I would've complained to a manager. If I DID pay good money for a movie ticket, I didn't pay it to listen to kids crying to go home! I listen to enough crying/whining at home thanks.
post #112 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
...and three--he enjoys movies, but he is NOT at ALL ready to sit and quietly enjoy one yet. We were watching Ice Age the other night and it was 'look mom, baby's eating watermelon!" etc. etc. He loved it, it was all appropriate---but people do NOT pay good money to listen to my kid yak through a movie. I know this, so we stay home.
I'd take my kid out of a theater if they were making a fuss. I actually have, when my sister and I misjudged how much ds1 and his cousin would feed each other's excitement. That said - dd (4.5) runs around, talks during movies, etc. - but dh took her to Enchanted a couple of weeks ago, and she was fine.
post #113 of 200
For future reference, when you want management to take care of someone that is disrupting a movie, demand your money back because the people behind you just wouldn't shut up so you could hear the movie. When they ask who the people are, tell them......it's the family with 2 little kids....the kids are scare and are crying and screaming and making it so that others can't enjoy the movie......

IME the managers are usualy teens and don't care i the little kids are scared.....but it is their job to take care of disruptions.....so if you go at it using that angle you'll probably have better luck....and the scared crying little darlings might be better off for it too.
post #114 of 200
:

Dh and I were talking about that as well. You'd need to make it a business issue for them to care.
post #115 of 200
I'll preface my comments and question by stating that I'm pretty firmly in the small children don't need to see adult content camp.

To me, it's about doing a cost-benefit analysis from the child's POV. What is the benefit? - time with parents. What is the (potential) cost? Exposure to concepts well beyond their comprehension, that may even be detrimental to their development; nightmares. I can find myriad other ways to meet the benefit, and see no reason to risk the potential cost.

My other point is that I don't think it's a solid comparison between the films of 20-30 years ago to what we regularly watch now. CGI has changed everything and has blurred the line between fact and fantasy for many and I think the experience of today's 5 year old in the theatre is different than that of the 5 year old of the sixties (I'm not making any reference to the notion that kids watch violence and become violent).

My question to those who bring their kids to adult-rated movies - do you keep it to the sci-fi type movie where it's monsters and easy to dismiss as unreal content, or do you also take them to movies where people are doing harm to others? DH and I watched The Good Shepherd last night and there was a torture scene that I certainly didn't want to watch, and can only imagine what information it would be providing to a 5 year old about humanity.
post #116 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by joensally View Post
My question to those who bring their kids to adult-rated movies - do you keep it to the sci-fi type movie where it's monsters and easy to dismiss as unreal content, or do you also take them to movies where people are doing harm to others? DH and I watched The Good Shepherd last night and there was a torture scene that I certainly didn't want to watch, and can only imagine what information it would be providing to a 5 year old about humanity.
We do all genres . . . .like I said above, most of the R and PG13 movies we see are rated that way for language and crude humor or sexual scenes, but we also do horror and action of all types, depending what's out and what looks good. We've seen the Saw trilogy (or are there four now?) and my five year old saw those with us either at home or in the theater, she saw Children of Men in the theater with us . . . trying to think of some others . . . but no, we really don't censor or restrict based on anything except what looks like a good movie (to us) and what doesn't.
post #117 of 200
We never really outright banned any specific genre, but I had (have?) no problem telling the kids my thoughts or concerns about a movie (what it looks like it might have in it) and how it would affect me or them. It was all just part of the talking and researching.

This all assumes a verbally communicative child of course. With a pre-verbal wee one you'd go by different signs as to how they were doing/what they were ready for or were not.
post #118 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
We've seen the Saw trilogy (or are there four now?) and my five year old saw those with us either at home or in the theater, she saw Children of Men in the theater with us . . . trying to think of some others . . . but no, we really don't censor or restrict based on anything except what looks like a good movie (to us) and what doesn't.
W-O-W... she saw SAW. For what purpose? Entertainment???

Man.

Why put her through that?

No point in answering those questions. I don't know what to know the answer. It won't make any sense to me anyway. None of this does.

Parents want to see X, so children "need" to also.

Why not Sound of Music? Singing in the Rain? something * truly * entertaining (and harmless to living beings)? something inspirational?

Hopefully she'll forget it all. I think there was a thread here a few years back about how some parents brought children in to see the last Hannibal movie, how they overheard the 4 yr old crying to leave and at some point, she stopped talking & crying (or was this a NYTimes article?) The author surmised the poor child went into shock over what she saw (among the horrors - a man tide to a wheelchair and set aflame.)

I personally refuse to watch those hack-up, terror movies. (I like scarey movies, I just don't like movies where people are hunted and tortured.) I can't brag I've seen one let alone all 3. I have serious problems with torture movies. (Part of me thinks I was tortured in a previous life or something, it seriously pisses me off to see torture scenes in wax museums provided as "entertainment" .... or maybe it was that horrible torture movie I saw when I was a kid. ) I would hate to be a child continually subjected to that and not having a voice in it.

I've been told by people who study brain gym that when children (and adults) watch TV, they go into fight or flight. Kinda of a deer in headlights thing. It's hard for me to believe that, but I do see my children "freeze" when they are watching a cartoon. What's it like for their brains watching violence? Ever ask yourself that?
post #119 of 200
Personally, I would never, ever take a chid to a horror movie. I wouldn't deliberately expose my child to a violent movie any more than I would sit and watch a porn movie with him.

But it is a parent's right to do so, I guess.

Where I draw the line is when the children who are allowed to watch violent movies are playing-acting or describing what they've seen on the playground.

So now I feel I have to protect my child from the choices other parents have made.

Let's see... in the past couple of weeks, one boy began to describe a very violent video game during circle time. He was promptly cut short by the teacher, but not before he talked about shooting, blood, and heads exploding. Then there was the other little boy who was acting out a movie where someone's hand was cut off using the wooden knife from a velcro vegetable set. My son won't go in the same half of the room as that little boy now.

I think it's my parental right to NOT expose my son to such violence which has been infringed upon. Because he's been exposed now.
post #120 of 200
I didn't answer your other questions since you said not to, but I am going to respond to the rest of your post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanibani View Post
Parents want to see X, so children "need" to also.
I've already said that my daughter has a choice about whether or not she wants to watch something. I've already said that we talk about what the movie is beforehand, and prepare her for what she might see in it. None of us *need* to see anything, so if it was objectionable to any of us, we wouldn't watch it.

Quote:
Why not Sound of Music? Singing in the Rain? something * truly * entertaining (and harmless to living beings)? something inspirational?
We haven't watched those two in particular, but as I've already said, we watch plenty of other movies as a family. We just went to Alvin and the Chipmunks the other day -- dd has seen pretty much any kids' movie she asked to see in the theater. I think it's silly to assume that because we watch horror movies together, we don't watch anything else.

Actually, it's just silly to assume anything.

Quote:
Hopefully she'll forget it all. I think there was a thread here a few years back about how some parents brought children in to see the last Hannibal movie, how they overheard the 4 yr old crying to leave and at some point, she stopped talking & crying (or was this a NYTimes article?) The author surmised the poor child went into shock over what she saw (among the horrors - a man tide to a wheelchair and set aflame.)
Are you now implying that I would force my child to sit through something after she asked to leave? After I've said (several times, I believe) that children who ask to leave should immediately be taken out. Niiice.

Quote:
I personally refuse to watch those hack-up, terror movies. (I like scarey movies, I just don't like movies where people are hunted and tortured.) I can't brag I've seen one let alone all 3. I have serious problems with torture movies. (Part of me thinks I was tortured in a previous life or something, it seriously pisses me off to see torture scenes in wax museums provided as "entertainment" .... or maybe it was that horrible torture movie I saw when I was a kid. ) I would hate to be a child continually subjected to that and not having a voice in it.
And again, this is irrelevant to MY child, who does have a voice in what she sees (and certainly, what she continues to watch). Also sounds like your are confirming what UnschoolinMa said above -- that the people making the most fuss over this issue are the ones who personally dislike the type of movies we're discussing and so can't really understand anyone wanting to watch them.

Quote:
I've been told by people who study brain gym that when children (and adults) watch TV, they go into fight or flight. Kinda of a deer in headlights thing. It's hard for me to believe that, but I do see my children "freeze" when they are watching a cartoon. What's it like for their brains watching violence? Ever ask yourself that?
I don't really buy that theory . . . my son has no interest in television and neither did my daughter until she was past two. Even now, if we are home she is usually doing something else while watching.

And yes, I've "asked myself that," and am very comfortable with the decisions I've made for my family.
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