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Preschool age children in "I am Legend" - Page 7

post #121 of 200
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I've already said that we talk about what the movie is beforehand, and prepare her for what she might see in it.
So in the case of "Saw," you explained, in language a child can understand, that it's about a kidnap/torture where two men are chained to a toilet and one is supposed to kill the other one in eight hours or his wife and daughter will be killed, and eventually one of them saws off his own foot to escape? So you prepared her for those images and plot?

Oh. Well, okay then. I don't have anything to say to that.
post #122 of 200
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Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
So in the case of "Saw," you explained, in language a child can understand, that it's about a kidnap/torture where two men are chained to a toilet and one is supposed to kill the other one in eight hours or his wife and daughter will be killed, and eventually one of them saws off his own foot to escape? So you prepared her for those images and plot?
I don't think I knew that much about the plot at that point, but basically . . . a "bad guy" sets up other people, makes them hurt and tries to see what he can get them to do to each other and to themselves. With the reminder (although this seems to go without saying anymore) that it's all pretend from a story that a writer made up in his head . . . and that the actors, of course, were just making believe that they were hurt and couldn't get away.
post #123 of 200
Honestly, Jessy, I think you're convincing yourself that you're giving your daughter a choice when, really, to the 5-year-old brain it's probably not much of a choice at all. I'm guessing that she wants to hang with mom and dad, so she's going to see hacker movies because that's what you're going to do.

And now I'm bowing out of this discussion because I can't stand to be reminded that people think it's okay to expose their young children to images of people being torn apart for "entertainment."
post #124 of 200
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Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
Honestly, Jessy, I think you're convincing yourself that you're giving your daughter a choice when, really, to the 5-year-old brain it's probably not much of a choice at all. I'm guessing that she wants to hang with mom and dad, so she's going to see hacker movies because that's what you're going to do.
If that's what you'd like to think.
post #125 of 200
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Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
I think this situation, like so many others, comes down to mindfulness and consideration. Forcing a frightened or overwhelmed child to view or continue viewing a movie is neither mindful or considerate to the child or to the rest of the people watching.

I don't need to be making decisions for other parents and families about movie watching, but I do like to see children treated with fairness and compassion and respect and I sure appreciate being treated the same way when I am trying to watch a movie. It just seems so cold hearted to make a scared kid watch a movie that's freaking them out because the parent doesn't want to leave. Now if the child is handling things well, then it's between parent and kid.
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post #126 of 200
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Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post

The studies don't really change much for me and my family. I've heard the reasons for not allowing TV or severely limiting screen time, and it just doesn't motivate me to do so. Our family has found a way that works for us, and our children do not run around behaving violently. They don't think it's funny if they see someone IRL being attacked or injured.
This is our experience too.

We don't watch horror movies at home or take our kids to them but we have taken them to PG13 stuff FE and watched some at home.

It is not always possible to make a direct connection. I know plenty of aggressive, bullying kids who are severely limited in their media exposure.
post #127 of 200
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Originally Posted by l_olive View Post
Where I draw the line is when the children who are allowed to watch violent movies are playing-acting or describing what they've seen on the playground.

So now I feel I have to protect my child from the choices other parents have made.

SNIP
. Then there was the other little boy who was acting out a movie where someone's hand was cut off using the wooden knife from a velcro vegetable set. My son won't go in the same half of the room as that little boy now.
I saw a no-tv allowed kid do something very like that once. He picked up a plastic toy spatula and threatened to cut another kids head off. Then he spent a whole hour saying "I'm going to kill you....etc." He was joined by another no-tv allowed kid and they continued to play that way.

Meanwhile the TV-exposed kids were quietly and cooperatively playing with Playdoh (homemade even-)

I know these kids from playgroup and they pretty much ALWAYS play this way. Meanwhile the TV-exposed kids play much more creatively IMO and often play very gentle games. I don't think I've ever seen them act out that kind of violence.

Personally I think the difference is that the TV-exposed kids are given lots of opportunities for creative play and are also gently raised in a non-controlling way.
post #128 of 200
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Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
And again, this is irrelevant to MY child, who does have a voice in what she sees (and certainly, what she continues to watch). Also sounds like your are confirming what UnschoolinMa said above -- that the people making the most fuss over this issue are the ones who personally dislike the type of movies we're discussing and so can't really understand anyone wanting to watch them.
First, I understand you (an adult) or any other adult choosing to watch violent hacker movies. I have no problem with other people's choices (be it porn or torture movies.) But please be honest, your daughter did not choose to view Saw. You chose that for her. (Just like I choose movies for my family.) She did not ask you for it. She did not see the poster/commercial, jump up and down and say "I want to see that!" Or did she? Is she that desensitized? (There was a 10 yr old boy who was driving in LA with his mother, saw a huge billboard of Tourista or something and was so scared/freaked out, started to cry. His mom was so angry this stuff was up, she started a movement to take the ads down. They were removed.) Anything is possible (like anyone on MDC would expose their children to Saw 3 different times), but I doubt your daughter asked for it.

Second, it may sound like that to you (I'm confirming what UnschoolinMa said) but no, that is not what I'm saying.

Here is what she said:
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Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
I think what these conversations come down to most of the time is "I don't like those movies/images so I don't want my kid to see them or like them either. I don't understand why anyone likes them at all." I am no fan of horror myself. I won't even stay in the room if it's on (can't handle the audio) and interestingly enough, despite my love for Mr. Smith, I won't be seeing I Am Legend either..... It's just too much for me. But I don't think that means I get to decide that you, or for this thread, your child, cannot see it. Why on earth would that be up to me?
Most of the people on this thread who are horrified at the thought of young children viewing "I am Legend" disagree with purposely exposing young children to violence due to the fact that they are too young to handle it. Again, I * enjoy * action, violent and horror movies (NOT hacker movies.) (As a child I did not enjoy them.) But that doesn't mean my children (or any children IMO) are "ready" to see any of it.

Again - Why put them through the trauma? There is no point. Adults may want or need the entertainment (which is fine) but children do not "need" that in their brains and psyche.

Neither you or Unschoolma are getting "it" or acknowledging that it is a "problem" (or potential problem) for young children. That's what I'm seeing.

So no, what Unschoolma is saying is completely different from what I'm saying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
So in the case of "Saw," you explained, in language a child can understand, that it's about a kidnap/torture where two men are chained to a toilet and one is supposed to kill the other one in eight hours or his wife and daughter will be killed, and eventually one of them saws off his own foot to escape? So you prepared her for those images and plot?

Oh. Well, okay then. I don't have anything to say to that.
Exactly why there was no point in Jessy answering my first questions. I'm done too.
post #129 of 200
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Originally Posted by marybethorama View Post
Personally I think the difference is that the TV-exposed kids are given lots of opportunities for creative play and are also gently raised in a non-controlling way.
I've seen the same thing, and I agree. I think a non-tv kid could have a similar outcome *if* the parents were very free in other ways, but I think parents who are controlling of something like TV are probably controlling in other ways, as well.
post #130 of 200
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Originally Posted by Tanibani View Post
But please be honest, your daughter did not choose to view Saw. You chose that for her. (Just like I choose movies for my family.) She did not ask you for it. She did not see the poster/commercial, jump up and down and say "I want to see that!" Or did she?
We rented the first couple, and she did see the boxes when we brought them home and said she wanted to see it with us. When the latest one was out and she saw the previews, she remembered the first ones and asked to see that one, too.

I think the implication that I am being dishonest simply because you don't like what I'm saying is beyond rude.

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Again - Why put them through the trauma?
If it was traumatic, we wouldn't *be* putting her through it. If she hated what she was seeing, asked for it to stop, or had a reaction to it beyond simply talking about the movie, we'd turn it off. But to assume that it's traumatic . . . . well, you know what they say about assumptions.

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Neither you or Unschoolma are getting "it" or acknowledging that it is a "problem" (or potential problem) for young children. That's what I'm seeing.
I think it's a potential problem for SOME children . . . children who are very sensitive or who are for whatever reason unable to separate fantasy from reality . . . but I don't think it's a general problem for children nor do I think it's a problem for MY children.
post #131 of 200
You had your child watch the Saw Trilogy. Wow. That's just abusive.
post #132 of 200
Er, I am just a casual passerby in this thread. I haven't posted but I can't stop reading it. Anyway, I thought that it was only fair to point out that some of the anti-censorship people have children in their teen years. Teens are not really children and I can't see an appropriate analogy between teens and 5 year olds. Just so that people understand that. Some of the "yeah, me too's" are parents of teens, not kids.
post #133 of 200
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Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I think the implication that I am being dishonest simply because you don't like what I'm saying is beyond rude.
Actually, I don't think anyone is accusing you of lying. I, personally, believe that you genuinely believe what you're saying is the truth. I just think you've adopted a very narrow, naive view of the situation and probably are not seeing the actuality of it as a result. That's not uncommon when we a) feel defensive and b) feel wedded to our perspectives.

We all like to believe our children are different, rare, etc. They really aren't - not when it comes to brain development. There are certain universals at play based on biology and physiology. There are also human norms that can be safely assumed except where there is some sort of mental disorder at play. You're basically putting forth a viewpoint that contravenes biology, physiology, and every human norm.
post #134 of 200
Wow, I can't imagine taking a small child to see Saw. How old was your small, small child when she saw these movies? No wonder she doesn't flinch at horror movies - sounds like she has seen it all. I really don't get it.............
post #135 of 200
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Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
I just think you've adopted a very narrow, naive view of the situation and probably are not seeing the actuality of it as a result.
I must be blind to my child screaming in horror at the movies we show her . . . deaf, too. :eyeroll.

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That's not uncommon when we a) feel defensive and b) feel wedded to our perspectives.
I don't feel defensive . . . I just haven't seen an argument that would be enough to convince me to restricting MY child's viewing and violate my morals and basic tenets of my parenting at the same time.

Quote:
We all like to believe our children are different, rare, etc. They really aren't - not when it comes to brain development. There are certain universals at play based on biology and physiology. There are also human norms that can be safely assumed except where there is some sort of mental disorder at play. You're basically putting forth a viewpoint that contravenes biology, physiology, and every human norm.
I don't see that at all. I see that from my own experience as a child (and experiences others have posted), it is normal for *some* kids to be able to watch more adult-themed movies without any ill effects. Are we different and rare? Only as different and rare as all human beings are.
post #136 of 200
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Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
Wow, I can't imagine taking a small child to see Saw. How old was your small, small child when she saw these movies? No wonder she doesn't flinch at horror movies - sounds like she has seen it all. I really don't get it.............
When did Saw come out on DVD? She's five now . . . I'm pretty sure we watched the trilogy on DVD within the past year or so.

I've seen way more than she has and I still finch. Different constitutions.
post #137 of 200
I get the feeling you aren't really looking for something that would make you reconsider. I guess I still don't understand why it would violate your morals and tenets to shield your child from something that every bit of legitimate data and much anecdotal information points to as being damaging. Isn't that the function of a parent? Is watching gruesome images on television some sort of basic right of all children whereby their somehow damaged or less enriched if they don't experience it?

I also agree with a previous poster who said that the experience of watching movies today is much different than it was when we were kids. Which would explain why those of us who are older are perhaps less likely to be desensitized to violence and horror despite watching it at an early age.
post #138 of 200
I don't think it is different constitutions - I think she was just desensitized at a much earlier age than you. Does she watch sexual movies as well as violent ones? Is there anything she can't watch, or does she just get to watch everything you do (if she wants)? Will your younger one be raised the same way?
post #139 of 200
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Originally Posted by LeftField View Post
Er, I am just a casual passerby in this thread. I haven't posted but I can't stop reading it. Anyway, I thought that it was only fair to point out that some of the anti-censorship people have children in their teen years. Teens are not really children and I can't see an appropriate analogy between teens and 5 year olds. Just so that people understand that. Some of the "yeah, me too's" are parents of teens, not kids.

uhhh, i'm pretty sure those "parents of teens" were at one time "parents of five yr olds" yknow? I'm pretty sure someone like Unschoolma parents her teen the same way as she'd parent a five yr old, with open communication, respect, and mindfulness. Just guessing though.


Katherine
post #140 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
I don't think it is different constitutions - I think she was just desensitized at a much earlier age than you. Does she watch sexual movies as well as violent ones? Is there anything she can't watch, or does she just get to watch everything you do (if she wants)? Will your younger one be raised the same way?
I don't see desensitization when it comes to movies as a negative, but assuming she was desensitized because of early viewing, I should have been as well (again, assuming all people have the same responses) since I was exposed at a similarly early age.

We don't censor or plan to censor our children's media. They will always be welcome to watch whatever we are watching . . . which as I said previously involves more sexual/crude humor than anything else.
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