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Preschool age children in "I am Legend" - Page 5

post #81 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama View Post
It is recommended that children not have ANY screen time before the age of 2 and very little after that into childhood.
Our children were never interested in watching tv or movies until after their 2nd birthdays anyway . . . even though they came to the movies with us then, they were sleeping or nursing, not watching.

My son isn't two yet, but as far as my daughter goes, she does have limited screen time at home and although we'd love to go to the movies weekly like we used to, our finances have changed and so have our schedules, and it's more likely that we go 2-3 times a month if that.

As far as the studies on mirror neurons, I'd maybe be concerned if I saw my children exhibiting signs of violence in their play or other aspects of their lives. I don't. My daughter is not violent in her play, in her socialization, etc. While those neurons may be activated by watching a movie, she's not acting on them.

Bottom line. I think being raised in a home where gentleness is consistently modeled has far, far more impact than watching the occasional violent movie or show.
post #82 of 200
Developmental Guidelines - Content Based Criteria for Determining Age Appropriateness - www.commonsensemedia.org
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This grid is designed to quickly show you what child development experts feel is developmentally appropriate for different age groups. Because every child and every family is different, it is only a rough guide, but we do use it to guide our ratings.
I'm so with Dragonfly & Freerangemama here. Never in a million years would DH & I take our children to "adult" films.

You have no idea how fear affects brain development. I was watching some United 9/11 movie and I "knew" it was all pretend, they were all actors, but my body was behaving like what I was watching was REAL. I felt stress, pain, and fear and horrible anxiety. I have never felt like that watching any movie (except maybe Jaws.) This was different.

My 7.5 yr old never was too scared of 'scary' children's movies (Snow White, Wiz of Oz) but my 3.5 yr old is a different story. She is very sensitive. She was screaming at home when we watched Ratatouille and the old lady was trying to kill Remy and the other rats with her shotgun. In her mind what is happening is real.

Even my 7.5 yr old knows things are fake, but the body acts like it's real. Even adults react that way.

I sit with her and put my hand on her chest. If her heart is beating fast (anxiety, fear, what stress hormones are flooding her brain?) I sit with her and hold her and that helps. Or we turn it off and watch something else.

But even for my 7.5 yr old (who I has not seen Spiderman, Transformers, etc - because there is no NEED for it) I am sure has some physiological reaction to what he is watching.

Children need adults to protect them (and guide them) from certain inappropriate things.

I am Legend - I LOVED it. I love post-apocolyptic films and I could not stop thinking about the movie all night (that never happens!) because I used to live in NYC and often wonder - how in the hell would you survive (leave) if something like that were to happen? But it was horrible images to put a young child through. Absolutely horrible.

I remember seeing some scary, violent, torture!!! scenes in a movie theater when I was 8-10? years old. I have never forgotten the horrible images. I didn't cry, laugh or complain... you have have no idea how children respond sometimes unless you probe.
post #83 of 200
Can you trust movie ratings? Commonsensemedia.org

Quote:
Some Facts You Should Know
- Movie ratings are awarded by the movie industry itself -There are no published standards for what goes into rating a movie.
- The ratings board is anonymous.
- A PG-13 rating today equals an R rating of 10 years ago (according to a Harvard University study)
post #84 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanibani View Post

I sit with her and put my hand on her chest. If her heart is beating fast (anxiety, fear, what stress hormones are flooding her brain?) I sit with her and hold her and that helps. Or we turn it off and watch something else.
DD spent a good part of I am Legend sitting on my lap to cuddle, and I didn't notice anything like that. It wasn't happening to me either, except for the one time when I jumped and she giggled at me. She didn't jump.


Quote:
I remember seeing some scary, violent, torture!!! scenes in a movie theater when I was 8-10? years old. I have never forgotten the horrible images. I didn't cry, laugh or complain... you have have no idea how children respond sometimes unless you probe.
And how do you know we don't? And again, after seeing lots of those movies as a kid, I don't remember any of the images, nor did I have issues with them at the time. Different people, different experiences.

As far as your other post, I don't use movie ratings to guide me any more than I would use that "commonsense" site. We look at the preview, talk about the main plot of the film . . . and if we still want to go, we go. If my daughter had a problem with something, we'd leave, but that has never happened and I'd be surprised if it did. I'm not interested in having other people make decisions for my kids and my family . . . which is why the judgment here doesn't bother me (and goes both ways anyway) but why I would be livid if one of you were actively trying to prevent us from going to the movies.
post #85 of 200
I think parents who say they take their young children to adult movies at the theater for the purpose of "family time" and/or "entertainment" are being disingenuous. We all know the reason. It's because the adults really want to see the movie and cannot arrange for a babysitter.

It's completely selfish on the parents' part, IMO.
post #86 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Why?

It infuriates me that there are parents making their children watch them, but I'm not bothered that there are parents who allow it.


Okay. To clarify: for a child that is slightly older, yes, I agree with you. For a 2 or 4 year old, I feel that *allowing* horror/terrifying movies is irresponsible of the parents.
post #87 of 200
Even if we take "pro-kids in adult movies" posters at their word that their children are not bothered by violence, etc, the question remains whether the kids even understand the plot? Does the kid watching "I Am Legend" understand the concept of "post-apocalyptic dystopia"? Maybe they aren't bothered, but I bet they are confused, bored, or else just tuning out any notions of plot or coherency and being numbed by the action on a screen. It just seems so pointless to me.
post #88 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
Different people, different experiences.
Remember, that applies to your children as well. Your children are not you and you are not them.

The developmental guidelines were created by people (childhood development experts) who know far more about the developing brain that you, I or anyone on this thread put together. That's worth a lot IMO. Not to you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
I think parents who say they take their young children to adult movies at the theater for the purpose of "family time" and/or "entertainment" are being disingenuous. We all know the reason. It's because the adults really want to see the movie and cannot arrange for a babysitter.

It's completely selfish on the parents' part, IMO.
Completely correct. Bolding mine.
post #89 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
Even if we take "pro-kids in adult movies" posters at their word that their children are not bothered by violence, etc, the question remains whether the kids even understand the plot? Does the kid watching "I Am Legend" understand the concept of "post-apocalyptic dystopia"? Maybe they aren't bothered, but I bet they are confused, bored, or else just tuning out any notions of plot or coherency and being numbed by the action on a screen. It just seems so pointless to me.
Yes, and this is why I want to wait before I introduce "It's a Wonderful Life" to my son.

I think it's far more fun to enjoy a film you understand rather than just watch the images without understanding. That's a rip off for the child IMO.
post #90 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019
I think being raised in a home where gentleness is consistently modeled has far, far more impact than watching the occasional violent movie or show.

The studies don't really change much for me and my family. I've heard the reasons for not allowing TV or severely limiting screen time, and it just doesn't motivate me to do so. Our family has found a way that works for us, and our children do not run around behaving violently. They don't think it's funny if they see someone IRL being attacked or injured.

I think what these conversations come down to most of the time is "I don't like those movies/images so I don't want my kid to see them or like them either. I don't understand why anyone likes them at all." I am no fan of horror myself. I won't even stay in the room if it's on (can't handle the audio) and interestingly enough, despite my love for Mr. Smith, I won't be seeing I Am Legend either..... It's just too much for me. But I don't think that means I get to decide that you, or for this thread, your child, cannot see it. Why on earth would that be up to me?

Mindfulness and respect and talking are the things that work for my family- about movies and most other things too.
post #91 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
Even if we take "pro-kids in adult movies" posters at their word that their children are not bothered by violence, etc, the question remains whether the kids even understand the plot? Does the kid watching "I Am Legend" understand the concept of "post-apocalyptic dystopia"? Maybe they aren't bothered, but I bet they are confused, bored, or else just tuning out any notions of plot or coherency and being numbed by the action on a screen. It just seems so pointless to me.

I imagine some get it and some don't. Adults have the same problem I have come to find. (Watched "The Minority Report" with a friend half a dozen times before she got it LOL

Part of a mindful approach could be talking about the movie's plot. We do that often around here before, slightly during (quietly- I promise), and definitely after we see a movie. With a kid going to see a movie that could be complex, action-y, and maybe scary or violent I would likely ask if they knew at all what the movie was about, what they'd be seeing more or less, what the point of the story is, etc. We'd research the movie and read some reviews and so on.
post #92 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
I think parents who say they take their young children to adult movies at the theater for the purpose of "family time" and/or "entertainment" are being disingenuous. We all know the reason. It's because the adults really want to see the movie and cannot arrange for a babysitter.

It's completely selfish on the parents' part, IMO.
Actually, we have a (free) sitter whenever we want one. My toddler often stays with my mom while my partner and I go to the movies with our five year old (in fact, he was with her through I am Legend). Our daughter chooses to come with us most of the time, and we love to have her.
post #93 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama View Post
Much learning is done by watching, mirror neurons in your brain are activated by watching someone else perform a task. When a child watches an episode of violence the same part of their brain is activated as if they were performing it themselves.
Interesting. Does it work that way for adults, too? That might explain why watching action movies when I'm really pissed off at someone tends to rid me of my desire to put them through a wall.
post #94 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
Even if we take "pro-kids in adult movies" posters at their word that their children are not bothered by violence, etc, the question remains whether the kids even understand the plot? Does the kid watching "I Am Legend" understand the concept of "post-apocalyptic dystopia"? Maybe they aren't bothered, but I bet they are confused, bored, or else just tuning out any notions of plot or coherency and being numbed by the action on a screen. It just seems so pointless to me.
We explain what we know of the plot beforehand, and ask what she thought after . . . Obviously, my five year old wouldn't say that the movie was about "post-apocalyptic dystopia" but neither would I. She *would* say that it was about a man who was left living in the city all alone with his dog, and they had to watch out for monsters and try to figure out how to make the monsters better. Maybe more, if she were involved in a conversation with someone talking about the movie.
post #95 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanibani View Post
My 7.5 yr old never was too scared of 'scary' children's movies (Snow White, Wiz of Oz) but my 3.5 yr old is a different story. She is very sensitive. She was screaming at home when we watched Ratatouille and the old lady was trying to kill Remy and the other rats with her shotgun. In her mind what is happening is real.
Okay - so what age is okay to see Ratatouille or Snow White? Obviously, your 7.5 year old could watch them at a different age than your 3.5 year old.

Quote:
But even for my 7.5 yr old (who I has not seen Spiderman, Transformers, etc - because there is no NEED for it) I am sure has some physiological reaction to what he is watching.
I don't get the thing about "no need for it". Why have you let your children watch any movies, then? They have no need to see Ratatouille or Snow White, either. I do all kinds of things in my life that there's no need for. I don't need to do crossword puzzles or sing Christmas carols or watch movies or bake mincemeat pies and shortbread at Christmas. I do them all, though. Life isn't about just doing what there's a need for.

Quote:
But it was horrible images to put a young child through. Absolutely horrible.
Why? Which young child?

Quote:
I didn't cry, laugh or complain... you have have no idea how children respond sometimes unless you probe.
I used to probe with ds1. He was fine with stuff that made me want to puke. He's just bothered by different things. Honestly - despite what I've read from "experts" about children's ability to tell real from fantasy, I think ds1 at 5 had a better grasp of the fact that what he was watching wasn't real than I have now.
post #96 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post

The studies don't really change much for me and my family. I've heard the reasons for not allowing TV or severely limiting screen time, and it just doesn't motivate me to do so. Our family has found a way that works for us, and our children do not run around behaving violently. They don't think it's funny if they see someone IRL being attacked or injured.

I think what these conversations come down to most of the time is "I don't like those movies/images so I don't want my kid to see them or like them either. I don't understand why anyone likes them at all." ...

Mindfulness and respect and talking are the things that work for my family- about movies and most other things too.

::

Thank you!
post #97 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I don't get the thing about "no need for it". Why have you let your children watch any movies, then? They have no need to see Ratatouille or Snow White, either. I do all kinds of things in my life that there's no need for. I don't need to do crossword puzzles or sing Christmas carols or watch movies or bake mincemeat pies and shortbread at Christmas. I do them all, though. Life isn't about just doing what there's a need for.
Seriously, do we really want to get into justifying everything we do for entertainment purposes?
post #98 of 200
I recall seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark as a child. I was 7 or 8, but I was an easily frightened child. Until college I still had ocassional nightmares of my face melting off like one of the villans in the movie. My brother who is two years younger... loved the movie. I'm sure it's different with different personalities. I can't imagine taking dd to pretty much anything (she's 3 1/2). She doesn't like some Max and Ruby episodes (Ruby's Jewelry Box) because Ruby isn't sharing with Max, or is mean to him. We've watched a few animated movies at home with her, and fast forwarded through all the scary parts (Nemo is fairly short at our house, but what she watches of it, she loves).

Also, babies are different than children IMO. I used to take dd as a sleeping infant when they did a Parent's Program at my local theater. They left the lights on low, set up changing tables, and turned down the sound so it was not ear-splitting. I loved it. She slept. The program isn't running any more apparently, but I'm thinking of taking ds to an early in the day showing of Golden Compass tomorrow. I want to see it and I bet he'll sleep.

Now, I'd draw the line for any child at them crying and asking to leave. They want to leave, you leave IMO... whether it's because the movie is too much for them or they love the movie but need a nap or snack or whatever. It's a public space, and I try to be as respectful of other patrons as I'd like them to be of me. (IE- I don't disturb their movie-watching with crying children; I expect them not to disturb my movie-watching with chatting or complaining about a happy child or nursing infant at the film.)
post #99 of 200
It is not about the point of entertainment, it is about the appropriateness of exposing a child to something they are not cognitively ready to handle. Your 5 year old is similar to every other typically developing 5 year old. A 5 year old brain deciphers and handles things differently than a 7 year old brain (or a 3 year old brain or a 13 year old brain, etc). There is no changing that any more than you can change the typical onset of puberty, the typical age of walking, or the typical age of any other type of development. All the talking and explaining will not change the fact that a 5 year old views things differently than an adult.

Respect and mindfulness include being mindful and showing respect for the age and development of children. Understanding child development means understanding all the reasons this isn't appropriate for a young child, not just saying, "it doesn't seem to bother her so it must be okay."

And yes, mirror neurons are active on people of all ages. The article states many examples of how they work and there is much research in this area and how it impacts humans and how they grow and learn.

In fact, there have been studies that show how stress hormones are released in people watching action and violence (probably because of the mirror neurons) and how being in a state of stress for prolonged periods is detrimental to our health. I wouldn't want to expose my kids to stress levels like this for fun. It seems counterproductive at best.

Sorry if this is disjointed, I haven't slept in over 36 hours........
post #100 of 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama View Post
It is not about the point of entertainment, it is about the appropriateness of exposing a child to something they are not cognitively ready to handle. Your 5 year old is similar to every other typically developing 5 year old. A 5 year old brain deciphers and handles things differently than a 7 year old brain (or a 3 year old brain or a 13 year old brain, etc). There is no changing that any more than you can change the typical onset of puberty, the typical age of walking, or the typical age of any other type of development. All the talking and explaining will not change the fact that a 5 year old views things differently than an adult.
Okay - so, once again - which child is which? Typical ages are just that - typical. DS1 was speaking at a year old. DD was speaking in sentences and singing whole songs from memory long before she turned 2. DS2 had a vocabulary of about 4 words when he turned 2...and two months later, he suddenly started using a couple of hundred words, in sentences, within about 2 days. Whatever might be "typical", only one of them could possibly have been that, because they were all different. Saying that my 5 year old is similar to "every other typically developing 5 year old" seems like a pretty big assumption about his development and about what "typical" really means. I have 3 kids, and they've all responded differently to tv and movies.

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Respect and mindfulness include being mindful and showing respect for the age and development of children. Understanding child development means understanding all the reasons this isn't appropriate for a young child, not just saying, "it doesn't seem to bother her so it must be okay."
Watching violent movies as a child didn't bother ds1. It hasn't caused him any nightmares, fear, etc. in subsequent years (he's almost 15). He's not a violent kid (in fact, the first comment I ever had from a teacher, which I've heard consistently ever since is that he's a very kind boy). So - what exactly did watching things that were inappropriate for a young child do to him? How was he harmed?

Quote:
In fact, there have been studies that show how stress hormones are released in people watching action and violence (probably because of the mirror neurons) and how being in a state of stress for prolonged periods is detrimental to our health. I wouldn't want to expose my kids to stress levels like this for fun. It seems counterproductive at best.
Again - interesting. I wonder why violent action movies always helped me unwind, if they were causing stress hormones to be released, though. I'm very skeptical of studies in this area, because they frequently (always?) seem to run counter to my own experience...
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