Mad at DH...

[wife&mommy]

So, my DH left me with the impression that he would be taking 2 weeks off with this baby, just as he did with DS. However, this is his busiest time of year at work. He knew that, though. He makes the schedule for his job and his employees.

He ended up taking 3 days off, that's it. He didn't tell me this until the day before he was going back. And he says he isn't getting another day off at all until the 3rd or 4th and that will just be his normal days off, not anything extra.

I would understand this except that he hates his job. He has applied for other jobs already. We don't need the extra money right now and he has TONS of time off built up that he will never use. He has been talking about nothing except how he wanted a new job for months and now I feel he is showing more loyalty to his job than to his family who needs him right now. My mom is here but it is just not the same. I do believe he wants to be here, but he is feeling like they NEED him at work because they are so busy. That might be true but I'm at the point I just don't care right now, especially given how he feels about his job. I think though it is the company he doesn't like, he really does like the people he works with and probalby doesn't want to put them out. But one of the other guys had a baby and 3 weeks later he still isn't back to work.

Am I wrong to be upset? What should I do?

[AGlimmeringHope]

no advice, but lots of s

[look11]

Oh, gosh, that is really hard. I don't think you're wrong to be upset, mostly because this was just spring on you at a particularly vulnerable time, but I imagine it's hard for him, too. Maybe there's some way he could do a few days on, a few days off, kind of thing? Then he could keep up at work AND be there for you?

I don't know. My husband has a very demanding job, too, and I know how resentful it can make me. Sorry I don't have more to offer... hugs. But don't beat yourself up for being upset.

[ivymae]

I hear ya. We went through the same thing, and I just had to let the frustration go, since it wasn't making anything easier. We had a long talk about it, I explained why it hurt me (When do i come first, if not when i just gave birth to our child?) and he explained why he felt stuck going back, but other than clearing the air, it didn't change anything. So, you are not wrong to be angry, but you have to ask yourself what his intentions were - if they were good, but misguided, than it's easier to forgive him. Try not to let this color your emotions right now - you deserve to be relaxed and soaking up the new baby love.

[wife&mommy]

Well the baby wouldn't sleep at all last night and I was up much of the night crying my eyes out! I know it is a lot of hormones but last night I wrote a letter to him and gave it to him this morning before work. That was probably bad timing but I couldn't figure out when else I would see him to do it.
I feel bad for doing it now as I'm sure it made him feel really guilty, but I did mean and still do mean everything I said it it, I just probably didn't do it in the right way.
He hasn't called all day, I hope I didn't make him mad. I just wanted him to think about how this is affecting his son at the most vunerable time of his life so far.

[wife&mommy]

Oh and by him working its not like 9 to 5, its like 7 am to 10 pm at night, so he doesn't see DS at all those days except when he is walking out the door in the morning and DS is begging him to play.

[Brees_Mama]

awww momma im sorry s, id be upset too. let us know how things go