how soon will you tell people?

[raelize]

with my last pregnancy, my sil (brother's wife) was about 6 moths ahead of me. so, i waited until i was 3 months along to tell cause that was also right after her shower. i didn't want to steal her thunder since it was mostly my family at the shower and i was worried that people would be more excited for me.

i have only told my dh cause i only found out today.
but i don't want to wait till 3 months, although certain people won't be told till i am closer to 3 months.
i am supposed to see my mom tomorrow and i want to tell her, but i feel maybe its to early?
when will you tell?
rachel

[pauletoy]

I found out on Christmas Eve. Told DH on Christmas. We are not planning on telling anyone anytime soon. This is baby #4. I am so excited about the baby but not looking forward to everyone's comments. For instance, "Don't you know what causes that".

Oh well, it kind of neat having a little secret.

Congrats and Best Wishes.

[Quaniliaz]

You know - I should have thought about this a little more before i told my 5 year old. She immediately wanted to tell my sister, who is also pregnant. So she called her up, and my sister happened to be sitting in a room with her husband and my mom and dad - so they all know. And we are celebrating christmas with my grandma and the rest of my huge family this weekend, and I really don't see how to convince her not to tell everyone there... We'll see. I don't think it will be a secret for very long.....

[shockels]

With my first PG we told friends and family around 6 weeks after seeing the heartbeat. With my second we did the same but I lost that baby at 11 weeks. After that loss I got PG again a year later and we didn't tell anyone, but I lost that baby too and it was definitely harder with my family not knowing why i was so sad. So this time we told my family on christmas eve and Jeremy's family christmas day. Sorry for the book here!

I definitely won't tell work until I know if this will be sticky or not, probably around 13/14 weeks as maternity leave might be tricky!

~Sandra

[frontierpsych]

I've told friends already since I always show wicked early, but I'm not planning to tell family until I hit my 2nd trimester or so-- we're moving when I'm around 10 weeks and then I will meet with my midwife in AZ.

[jaclyn7]

Hmm, not sure. I think that if it wasn't the holidays, I probably would've told my Mom & Dad already, but I think I'm going to wait a bit.

I told DH a few hours after my BFP, but with school and everything this pregnancy has to be sort of under wraps for a bit. My little sister has already joked that I'm pregnant, but that was before I knew and she's a brat , who just really wants to be an Aunt.

I'm very private and other than announcing it to family and a few close friends at around 12 weeks, I'm just going to wait until they ask me. I think everyone and every pregnancy is different and I'm hoping I'll just know when the timing is right to tell, hopefully...

[barefootpoetry]

I've been very gradually telling people. DH was the first to know, of course, and my online friends were next. Then DH let it slip to his side of the family, and I told my side on Xmas day. I haven't told my coworkers yet, but I haven't been in to work in the past 2 weeks because of the holidays.

[peachymum]

This is long...but I need some help.

AF due Jan 1; TWW-ing

Here's the situation. My brother's gf told him she was pregnant last November after they had been broken up for a little while. He wasn't 100% sure it was his but he wanted a family SO bad he agreed to "make it work." Baby was born in July (early? or did she lie about the conception date?) He refuses to get a paternity test. My DH is sure she's using him and is going to stick it to him for everything he has. My mother is supportive of the whole thing and just loves this baby. (I have to admit, she's f-ing adorable)

Mother and "sil" have been encouraging us to get pregnant so that Baby can "have someone to play with." : We don't live anywhere near them and in all honesty, don't plan on spending much time with them when we do have kids.

Rather than rushing into things or having an oops baby, DH and I have thought long and hard and have decided now is a good time to start TTC (we've been together for 4+ years, married 1) but we're afraid my family will trivialize the whole thing. No one seems to care that Baby may or may not actually be my neice and comments involving the word "playmate" just make me crazy!

So it was really hard for me being with my family for Christmas - everyone kept offering me wine, or eggnog, and although I'm still not sure I'm PG, DH and I don't want to take any chances. So my brother's nosey gf asked (loudly) "Are you pregnant or something?" and of course I said I wasn't, but that we're trying so I want to be careful. She's incredibly young and and is one of those "Pregnancy is SO fun! Babies are SO cute!" girls. :Puke

I wanted to tell my mom I'm tww-ing, but I didn't get a chance and don't feel like I should tell her yet. I have a 180-degree different idea of how children should be raised from what my "sil" is doing and I don't want any input from my self-proclaimed "Butt-insky" mother.

What do I do?

[honeybee]

We're telling everyone on Sunday and Tuesday. We're going to see my family on Sunday, and Dh's on New Year's. I just don't think I can wait any longer. Plus, I am really excited to tell our boys, especially the oldest. BUT, he can NOT keep a secret, so we can't tell him until just before we go see the relatives. Then, he can safely let the cat out of the bag!

[pauletoy]

peachymum,

I hope you get the BFP you want very soon.

When you do get it, don't let anyone rain on your parade.

[xochimama]

We've already started telling people. Our families, to start. Some close friends, if/when we see them.

When I miscarried a few years ago, I was really embarrassed that I had told everyone-- family, friends, coworkers and then had to "untell". But you know what, I got so much support and love from people. I'm glad I didn't go through that alone-- so I guess I'll just let people know as I am inspired to do so...

[truelife]

We have already started telling people as well. I have always figured that if I do miscarry it would be better for people to know why I'm sad/MIA/etc and have their support then try to go through it all alone. The only people who don't know are my in-laws, my Dad and his side, and my beloved midwife - I want to tell them all in person.

[Scalpel]

We are big blab mouths and told everyone already.......I can't keep a secret for sh#$! I know its super early and probably not a good idea but its our first and we are happy and staying positive and wanted to share our joy with our loved ones.

[Belia]

We POAS last Friday, and I told my co-workers that same day! I work in a school, and it was our last day before XMas break. I knew they'd be thrilled and uber-supportive... they're more of a family than co-workers.

We told my family Sunday night. My sister and her DH and 2 kids were in from Ohio and leaving the next day, so it seemed like "now or never."

It was actually cute how we did it- we met at a restaurant for "Dinner with Santa," so I wrapped up a box with a picture of the pg test in it. I had Santa give it to my mom. (We've been married 9 years and no kids- never even tried until now. I think everyone had given up on us!) My mom hopped up on Santa's lap and went to town... laughing and joking as she opened the present. I think she thought my dad gave her jewelry. No one had any clue! Then of course once she figured out what it was she burst into tears. My sister has the BEST pictures!

My DH finally told his parents last night- they're about 6 hours away. Hard to do something cute from so far.

I agree about the telling people early- if the worst happens and something goes south with this pg, then why wouldn't I want my close friends and family to know so they could help me grieve?!?!? Why go through something like that alone?!?!?

But at the same time, I have been careful to only tell people who I can quickly and easily "untell" if I have to. If that makes sense.

[Alcyone]

I'm all for waiting until the last moment with my in-laws. You know, when I have to either lie about a stomach tumor or just own up to it.

But I just called my mom. Just now. As it happens, she was in a room with my dad, both my brothers, my pregnant SIL, and my little neice. I told her she should think about coming to Denmark for her and Dad's anniversary. She said, "ok, that could be fun, why?" I said "September 3rd is going to be a special day here too." She guessed it was a national holiday, and I said "no, something a bit smaller." She said, "something local?" I said, "yes, very local." Then she said, "ok, you have to tell me what!" Then I said, "it's also my due date." As I talked to every. person. individually, I could hear Mom in the background singing about having three grandkids in 2008.

[GSMama]

We won't tell anyone until 12 weeks. We lost a pregnancy at 9 weeks last time and having to tell people what happened was pretty painful for me....I don't want to do that again!

[VeganCupcake]

I know it's unusual, but I'm really enjoying having this fun secret from everyone! I think we'll wait to tell until it just can't be hidden anymore, whenever that is. Maybe we can make it to 15 weeks without telling?

If the worst happens and we lose this baby, we'll tell our family and friends then and I'm sure we'll get all the support we need.

[mamazee]

Probably a week or two more, but I don't intend to wait too long. My husband wanted to tell our 5-year-old yesterday, and I had to get a bit angry with him. If he tells her, EVERYBODY will know, and I'm not confident enough about this pregnancy yet for that. I've had a couple of chemical pregnancies during my TTC time this go-around and I'm just not quite ready to 100% believe this one yet. But when I do, I'll be fine with people knowing. I'm just not sure when that'll happen.

[ComaWhite]

We always tell right away. I can't keep a great secret like that!
I'm also super skinny and I popped way out before I even got my +, so theres no way I could have hid it over all the family xmas gatherings.

[muppet729]

I think we'll probably tell pretty soon. That includes both sets of grandparents, best friends and at least one of dh's 5 siblings. There are a couple of people that i probably won't tell but I know they'll find out (long story).

My personal belief is that life begins at conception and so therefore should be celebrated right away. That being said, I may wait until I have gone a few more days (BFP on dpo11) just to get more confident. I can't say that I really doubt exactly, but it feels surreal- this is my first cycle post pregnancy from dd2 and WHAM here I am again. We were totally trying (I'm a school teacher when I'm not SAHMing and so dc3 will be one year behind dd2 so I can go back to work sooner- financially a bonus ) so it wasn't a surpise or anything.

Btw- in answer to, "don't you know how that happens?" I would give that person a wink/wink and say, "yes, and we enjoyed every minute of it". I'm pretty conservative by nature so when I talk about dtd, it kind of freaks people out and at least shuts them up! s