Hi all, I just had my first baby last year, and there was no way we were circing if it was a boy (but it was moot, 'cause she's a girl). My brother in law and wife are having their first baby in January, and have decided to circ (so far). I didn't spend a lot of energy earlier trying to convince them not to 'cause I couldn't imagine that they would. So now I have to make up for lost time without alienating my relatives (who I really love). Can you proof this letter and let me know if you see any way to improve it (without making it too much longer if possible! It's already rediculous...). Thanks a bundle. I love this website...
Hi J&H,
We’re so excited to see you in less than a month! Wow…that’s amazing that you are so close I hope that you’re feeling well and managing to get some sleep even with a big baby belly.
Last time I talked to H you guys were still discussing whether to circumcise or not. After we got of the phone, I did some research on the subject but wasn’t organized enough to actually send it to you. Then C (my husband) told me that you decided to circumcise, so I didn’t send it because you’d already made up your mind.
Recently I found this document that I wrote up for you guys (with some of the resources I found) and decided to send it off to you after all. I hope it’s not too forward of me, because lots of the information that I found was urging people not to circumcise. Of course this is your decision, but the more I thought about it, I realized that I will feel horrible if I don't send this information to you so that you can at least give it a glance. The more I’ve read, the more I’ve been realizing that circumcision is really a gruesome relic of the “prevent boys from masturbating” era, and we Americans (almost alone among developed countries) are cutting off a big piece of our babies’ penises for no good reason.
I have also read some pretty upsetting stories online from people who had their sons circumcised and really regret it—some had problems breastfeeding because the baby was so traumatized, some had sons whose penis didn’t heal correctly and got infected, etc. Surgery on a very tiny baby has risks. It seems like something you (or your son) can always decide to do at a later date, but you can’t ever undo it once it’s done.
I hope it’s okay to send you this stuff—I love you guys, and will love you no matter what you decide. Thanks for taking this in stride!
Here are the top 2 articles I hope that you will read:
http://www.stopcirc.com/ilearned.html (because it’s pretty concise and gives a summary of the major risks of circumcision)
http://www.fathermag.com/health/circ/restore/rio/01/ (because it’s an easy read in a light tone, written by a circumcised man)
I would also encourage you to visit this website and read some of the stories from people who circumcised and regretted it: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=112410
And last, there are some videos of circumcision being done online. I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch these, but here are the links if you are interested: http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/video.html
Some other interesting facts I found were:
Currently around half the infant males in the US are left intact (up from 23% in early 1980’s) and worldwide, more than 80% of men are intact.
Here’s another interesting thing to think about—especially since I know that one of your friends mentioned that she regrets leaving her sons intact because she’s afraid that they will be teased. Here is an interesting perspective I found on that:
QUES: I worry that my intact son is being teased by his circumcised friends. In fact he has already told me that he feels ‘different’ and wants to look like the other boys. I did not want him circumcised because I felt that nature designed the human body the way it is for a reason. What should I tell him?
ANS: Well, whatever you tell him should be age-appropriate. If he is old enough –perhaps age 10 and above– to understand human sexuality, you might reassure him that his adult sexual sensation will be far more important later than any momentary urge to look like others. Likely he will have privately discovered this for himself and you will merely be confirming his observations. If he is too young to understand the worth of his sexual sensation, you need only arm him with the confidence to assert that he is not missing anything; indeed, he has been allowed to keep something other boys have lost forever. In any case, in many areas of North America, and especially in other English speaking locales where circumcision once flourished, like the UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, intact boys are now in the vast majority. Eventually his adult sexual needs and sensation will overcome his youthful conformity concerns, and he will count himself very lucky to be intact indeed. Our advice is to wait the problem out and not give into to your son’s immature wishes to be circumcised, which he will come to deeply regret once an adult.
I also read a comparison written by someone who asked “if our daughter hit puberty early and had large breasts and was feeling embarrassed about it, would we take her in for breast reduction surgery?” Taking our baby boys to be circumcised so that they will fit in could be considered a similar mentality.
And lastly, if you’ve made it this far, here are some other resources if you have the patience
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=816076
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/fleiss.html
http://www.stopcirc.com/vincent/index.html
http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t101500.asp#T101515
Sorry for the novel!!! I love you guys, hope you are well, and am REALLY looking forward to seeing you SOON
Love,
Me
Hi J&H,
We’re so excited to see you in less than a month! Wow…that’s amazing that you are so close I hope that you’re feeling well and managing to get some sleep even with a big baby belly.
Last time I talked to H you guys were still discussing whether to circumcise or not. After we got of the phone, I did some research on the subject but wasn’t organized enough to actually send it to you. Then C (my husband) told me that you decided to circumcise, so I didn’t send it because you’d already made up your mind.
Recently I found this document that I wrote up for you guys (with some of the resources I found) and decided to send it off to you after all. I hope it’s not too forward of me, because lots of the information that I found was urging people not to circumcise. Of course this is your decision, but the more I thought about it, I realized that I will feel horrible if I don't send this information to you so that you can at least give it a glance. The more I’ve read, the more I’ve been realizing that circumcision is really a gruesome relic of the “prevent boys from masturbating” era, and we Americans (almost alone among developed countries) are cutting off a big piece of our babies’ penises for no good reason.
I have also read some pretty upsetting stories online from people who had their sons circumcised and really regret it—some had problems breastfeeding because the baby was so traumatized, some had sons whose penis didn’t heal correctly and got infected, etc. Surgery on a very tiny baby has risks. It seems like something you (or your son) can always decide to do at a later date, but you can’t ever undo it once it’s done.
I hope it’s okay to send you this stuff—I love you guys, and will love you no matter what you decide. Thanks for taking this in stride!
Here are the top 2 articles I hope that you will read:
http://www.stopcirc.com/ilearned.html (because it’s pretty concise and gives a summary of the major risks of circumcision)
http://www.fathermag.com/health/circ/restore/rio/01/ (because it’s an easy read in a light tone, written by a circumcised man)
I would also encourage you to visit this website and read some of the stories from people who circumcised and regretted it: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=112410
And last, there are some videos of circumcision being done online. I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch these, but here are the links if you are interested: http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/video.html
Some other interesting facts I found were:
Currently around half the infant males in the US are left intact (up from 23% in early 1980’s) and worldwide, more than 80% of men are intact.
Here’s another interesting thing to think about—especially since I know that one of your friends mentioned that she regrets leaving her sons intact because she’s afraid that they will be teased. Here is an interesting perspective I found on that:
QUES: I worry that my intact son is being teased by his circumcised friends. In fact he has already told me that he feels ‘different’ and wants to look like the other boys. I did not want him circumcised because I felt that nature designed the human body the way it is for a reason. What should I tell him?
ANS: Well, whatever you tell him should be age-appropriate. If he is old enough –perhaps age 10 and above– to understand human sexuality, you might reassure him that his adult sexual sensation will be far more important later than any momentary urge to look like others. Likely he will have privately discovered this for himself and you will merely be confirming his observations. If he is too young to understand the worth of his sexual sensation, you need only arm him with the confidence to assert that he is not missing anything; indeed, he has been allowed to keep something other boys have lost forever. In any case, in many areas of North America, and especially in other English speaking locales where circumcision once flourished, like the UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, intact boys are now in the vast majority. Eventually his adult sexual needs and sensation will overcome his youthful conformity concerns, and he will count himself very lucky to be intact indeed. Our advice is to wait the problem out and not give into to your son’s immature wishes to be circumcised, which he will come to deeply regret once an adult.
I also read a comparison written by someone who asked “if our daughter hit puberty early and had large breasts and was feeling embarrassed about it, would we take her in for breast reduction surgery?” Taking our baby boys to be circumcised so that they will fit in could be considered a similar mentality.
And lastly, if you’ve made it this far, here are some other resources if you have the patience
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=816076
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/fleiss.html
http://www.stopcirc.com/vincent/index.html
http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t101500.asp#T101515
Sorry for the novel!!! I love you guys, hope you are well, and am REALLY looking forward to seeing you SOON
Love,
Me
