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What are you planning: SAHM, WOHM, WAHM?

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
Let me just start off by saying that I really don't want to get into a discussion of the relative merits of SAHM, WOHM and WAHM, but I'm just curious if y'all have already started thinking about what you will do after the birth? Those of you who already have kids, what kind of arrangement do you have going now?

DH and I both agreed that it would be great if I could stay home with the kids until they're old enough to go to school (age 4 here in NL), at which point I could perhaps work from home during school hours. I'm a translator, which is luckily compatible with being a WAHM-- you just need a computer, an internet connection, and a good desk and chair. However, it's starting to look like that's not going to be possible financially. We just went through our finances really thoroughly and came to the conclusion that I will most likely need to keep working at least one day per week after my maternity leave ends (3 months after the birth) in order for us to make ends meet. I know that's not much, and I should feel grateful that DH has a good enough job that I won't have to work full time, but I still feel kind of disappointed. I'm not sure yet what we'll wind up doing... I'm still trying to come to terms with the idea that I'll most likely have to leave our babe with someone else at least one day per week.

Again, it is not my intention to step on anyone's toes or to make those of you who are WOHMs by choice or by necessity feel like you need to defend your decision... I'm just sad because I personally felt good about our decision for me to be a SAHM, and now I find that it probably won't be possible.

Anyone else struggling with work-related issues?
post #2 of 32
Originally Posted by Megan_in_Holland View Post
SAHM, WOHM and WAHM, but I'm just curious if y'all have already started thinking about what you will do after the birth? Those of you who already have kids, what kind of arrangement do you have going now?
I'm mostly a SAHM. I worked until I got pregnant with Henry, and then daycare costs were going to be about equal to my paycheck so I quit. I am a doula and childbirth educator, so I work a little, but not too much - I only take 1-2 birth clients a month and teach on Wednesday nights from home. I won't be taking any birth clients until baby is at least 6 months old - it just depends on the baby!
post #3 of 32
For me SAH was the best thing. There was no way I could leave him with anyone - even my MIL! About 5 months ago I started WAH - when #2 was a year. That has been great. I really needed something that was MINE. I plan to continue with my business after this one is born and just see how it goes. I can work as much or little as I want so I think it will work out.
post #4 of 32
I am a SAHM. We knew that was our plan before any children, so we never considered my income in our lifestyle. We would not count it into our mortgage, etc. We did buy a smaller house in a town that would not have been our first choice. I feel really lucky that it all worked out for us. I have been at home since our DS was born over 3 years ago.

Megan, I thought the Netherlands is really generous for parental leave. I thought you could get a year paid parental leave when you have a baby and part payment for up to three years? Is the work flexible as a translator? Can you work an hour to an hour and a half per day, all week, to make up one day's work? I wonder if you could do this while the baby slept, or when your DH is home. Then you do not have to think of childcare, and your baby will be right there if it really needs you. Just a thought...
post #5 of 32
I am currently a SAHM and plan to continue to do so.
post #6 of 32
We were just having this discussion last night. Right now I'm a SAHM. We LOVE the arrangement. I'm about to start student teaching (Jan-mid April) to finish up my Master's, and everyone keeps asking me if I'll start teaching this fall (of course, most of these people don't know I'm due in August). The answer is no, I'm going to continue to be a SAHM.

We were discussing though what would happen if DH lost his job-he works for a big company, and while it's a pretty secure position, there's always the chance. We decided that if it was possible, and our youngest was say, 6 months old or so, we could try having DH stay home and I work for a while.

I definitely wish there was a way for us both to part time it, but at this point, that's just not possible. But, given the chance, I'd love for him to be able to stay home with the babes!
post #7 of 32
I wish I could be a SAHM, I'm so jealous. We just can't afford it though right now with the new house. I work during the day while DH is home with the boys. DH works at night and is also starting school in January. I'd like to as well, but just doesn't seem possible seeing how my income is more than DH's. But I do plan on starting back part time and instead of asking for a salary increase, I want to negotiate working from home as a trial for maybe 2 days a week. It would be a nice start and I wouldn't feel so awful about leaving the new babe. It was very hard even working part time with Liam considering if I wasn't there to nurse him, he wouldn't eat at all and I just will not do that to this baby. I've been checking out the WAH boards and maybe something might pan out from there. Oh well, a girl can hope for a layoff right
post #8 of 32
i really, really love my work (see my sig! ) and so i really can't imagine not working.

but, i plan on greatly reducing my schedule. i'm going to run a few workshops a year (two week-long ones; two weekend ones), and i'm going to run about 5-6 lessons a week (3 private, 2-3 group classes). I'm going to run these in the evenings when my husband is home from work so that he can have some 'alone time' with his kiddo.

and, while the money is great, i'm really doing it for the love of the work!
post #9 of 32
After my first 2 kids, I took one-year maternity leaves and returned to work part-time (I'm a state prosecutor so have great benefits). After our third baby, I quit my job and decided to SAH for a few years.

Now that we are having our fourth, I'll definitely be a SAHM for at least a few more years.

But I do plan to practice again one day since I love my job.
post #10 of 32
When I had my first the money I made in comparison to the cost of working and childcare with loosing my income and we decided I'd just stop working. I wanted to anyway.

Now I work part time opposite shift from dh 20-30 hours a week. I'll be stopping that once the baby is born, at least for a while.

I would love to find something that would allow me to work from home. For a while I was dying and selling yarn and loved doing it. Its a hard way to make money though as its not all that profitable. There is also lots of competition too.
post #11 of 32
I'm currently a WOHM, but after the baby comes I expect to be able to work from home part-time for a while. I am the primary wage-earner and we also get our health insurance through my job so it's pretty critical that I return to work. But, I also don't think I'd be very happy in the long-term as a SAHM.
post #12 of 32
iam a sahm and plain to stay one forever
post #13 of 32
I WOH and enjoy it..mostly because I love what I do. I work 30 hours a week and provide the majority of our income. I stayed home for 7 months and discovered it was not the best decision for me. My husband is with our son M-TR and does some individual painting jobs as they come. I expect that we will stay on the same schedule when this one arrives. I am super lucky in that I can bring the infant to work with me for the first 6 months or so..the boss loves babies.
post #14 of 32
DH and I are graduate students and both work part time and mostly from home. This has been so great, but I'm finishing my degree in May. I was planning to start working outside of the home full time in August... then we found out I was pregnant! I think with 2 babes under 2 and DH writing his dissertation, I'll stay at home until January or so and try to find something temporary. DH and I will both start full time jobs out of the home in August 2009. Until then, we'll be broke but rich with time.

I would like to say how much I appreciate how respectful everyone has been about these very personal decisions! There is no right way to be a mother... each woman and family are different.
post #15 of 32
Ideally I always envisioned myself being a SAHM. But realistically since this pregnancy was a bit of a surprise its just not going to happen. I also am in the process of purchasing my first home so I need to work. I am lucky in the sense though that my work schedule is pretty flexible and I have a lot of support from family and friends. I'm a nurse and I work nights 3 days a week so its actually not a bad deal. I think I actually may be able to take off 12 weeks after the baby is here ( I REALLY don't want to go back to work at 6 weeks). Of course everything is subject to change. I may end up going part time or something like that. Either way I think I'm going to have to leave him/her :-(.
post #16 of 32
I'm only doing the SAHM thing for a year, then I'm going back to finish my degree. I was scheduled to start nursing school in August, but it's pretty hard to do clinicals when you've just given birth, so I'll start in August of 2009. after I finish my degree, I'll work part time as a nurse for a couple of years and then we'll have to move so I can go to grad school. thankfully, in those first few years, we'll have my MIL to help out.
post #17 of 32
SAHM since my last babe. Its strange since I NEVER thought I would want to be a SAHM but I really like it. I will be home at least until we are done having kids, my hubbie wanted 4 when I met him but now he is down to 2 but we will see. After that we will have to decide if we want to home school or do public, if we want to do private I will have to go back to work, the costs will be to high to afford private on just his salary.

Interestingly I am not sure if I really like my profession anymore and will have to think long and hard before I head back in. The work is fun but mostly the people SUCK and it is very stressful. I was an Electrical & Computer Engineer working for MIT which just meant that MOST of the people I worked with were egotistical super intelligent jerks.:
post #18 of 32
I have always been a SAHM so this baby (#4) doesn't change anything. My oldest is 4.5 so we don't do much yet, but I will be homeschooling all the kids. I feel very blessed to be able to stay home with my kids. I am from CA originally and we were considering moving back there to be near my family but we realized we could just NOT do it financially. We live in a part of the country where it is very do-able for moms to stay at home.
post #19 of 32
I'm a WOHM. I love what I do outside of the home thankfully or it would be really hard. DS goes to a very nice daycare with webcams in every room so I can check on him during the day. The caregivers are very nurturing and DS has really thrived in the environment. I feel very blessed to have a flexible job and a great daycare. Not all WOHMs are so lucky.
post #20 of 32
I am a teacher and feel very fortunate that my husband stays home with my son. Most likely the arrangement will continue after our next child is born, unless my husband gets a super full time job. Currently he works fixing computers on his own (no boss, he sets his schedule) so that he can be with our son during the day and book appointments in the evening. It's worked out so well for us because I love my job (and all the time off I get) and I provide phenomenal health insurance for our family. My son has a chronic illness so it's imperative that we always have top of the line health insurance, so I can't see me not working. Financially it's a stretch, but for us it's worth it because our son hasn't had to be in daycare - meaning he hasn't been exposed to lots of colds/flu which are a pain for him to deal with, and I know that my husband does a great job caring for him. Their relationship is stronger than it would have been had I been the stay-at-home parent.
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