When can I paint / Sculpt again?

[AllisonR]

I have not painted, sculpted.... AT ALL in the last 3 years. There is no resentment; I've just been too busy with 2 kids.

But my brain is burning with ideas, with no outlet. I can do a 5 minute sketch or edit photos when DS and DD are in bed, but not "real art". To do that, I need to get super focused and go deep inside myself, and be in that place for a few solid, daylight hours. I can't just paint for 5 minutes, then snap out of it instantly, clean up whatever I was working on and attend to their needs. It isn't possible to take care of my kids properly, and paint. Which means I don't. But.... when?

Do I wait another 5-7 years, until they can also focus on something for 3-4 hours at a time? DH is totally capable of taking care of the kids, and a great dad, but I feel painting, when the two of us have nearly zero time for each other, is just unbalanced. Also, we do not have parents close enough to care for DS and DD. And three hours - I could clean the house, do laundry.... so painting just keeps going to the bottom of the list.

This sort of turned into a mini-rant, but it wasn't meant to be. I just want to hear from others in similiar circumstances. Have you come to terms with your lack of time to create? Or have you somehow found the time? How? When?

[CMcC]

Totally understand! But I've learned that sometimes I need "me time" also. I'm soooo much happier if I get a few hours of uninterupted art time. I don't take it as often as I should, perhaps this will be a new years resolution for me. I say schedual a few hours some time when hubby can watch the kids and have a wonderful time creating.

[PreggieUBA2C]

Ugh, I stopped painting/sculpting ummm, this January marks 5 years. I feel sad about this and I was hoping that someone else would have some ideas about how to do this because I'm in the same boat as you seem to be.

Dh insists that if I have 10 minutes here and there, I should use it to draw, at least, because he thinks that's better than nothing. I actually completely disagree; like you, I can't just flip into creative mode and then out again because juice landed on the floor in the kitchen or a diaper needs changing. I also cannot concentrate adequately with the chatter of our littles. I really need a lot of quiet to create- that and a significant amount of time to think it through, envision it, work through the preliminary set-up for the method I'll be using and then the time to actually do it.

I have two full series of thumbnails for two respective series of paintings I'd still like to do- about 18 paintings in all (I can't remember exactly). I do think that I might benefit from having a journal with me and available to jot down ideas and thumbnails during the day. Hmm, that might actually help me with me sadness about not doing any art. Of course, when I have 100 thumbnails for paintings and another 200 for sculptures and still no pieces to show, I'm not sure how much better off I'll be, but I guess at least it would help me to keep my creativity in the front of my mind instead of the very, very back.

Okay, so I guess I actually have a suggestion then- and I just thought of it now. Thanks for asking the question! You've prompted a solution from the cobwebs

[AllisonR]

PreggieUBA2C - I also do notes/scetches but it just adds to all the ideas still undone.
Well, I found a mini-solution. I took 2 days off work and left the kids in daycare! Yea, I know, on MDC - criminal! But I was able to do one large painting, which did not come out well. I am so rusty. But I was glad to have done it, and now I know how to do it better when I have the chance to try again.

OT: PreggieUBA2C: congrats! I love to hear about vbacs. I had a cesarian, then a homebirth, but I ended up in the hospital again with another cesarian, for the same reason as the 1st! Still glad and proud I did the homebirth, even though it didn't end there.

[DaughterOfKali]

I haven't really painted in 5 yrs. I really miss it. I want to work on a larger scale now but I don't even have an easel. Um...Or paints.

[PreggieUBA2C]

Allison, I was thinking that the sketch book (that I have now packed away and didn't use ) might just add to the list, but theoretically, why would it benefit me to think of something and keep it in mind until I eventually forget about it or lose my passion for it? If I record it, then I can let it go, mentally, and when I come back to it, relive my passion for it. That's just me though; this might not make any sense for you.

OT: I don't think any well-reasoning mum would be aghast at you taking a couple of days, as you need them, to be who and what you are- to create because you must. I think if you have the resources, and you are content with the care your dc are receiving, then go for it! I hope that time was/is fruitful for you!

Also, I haven't told my stories yet because they are still so close to me. My c/s's still cut me to the heart because I am not yet sure of whether or not our first two son's are struggling because of them.

Ds1 was taken when he was about 32 weeks gestation, and nobody said anything when he was born; they just let me go home with a baby who would have breathing problems for 6 months following, and then continued to cover-up their grave mistake while I didn't sleep more than 40min. in a row for that whole time, getting sicker and sicker (and now have years of recovery ahead of me from an ailment stemming from this stress). The OB told me my dates were wrong (they clearly weren't) and scheduled my 'life-saving c/s' for my 'breech' baby at 38+5 wks (actually 32 gestationally .

Ugh. I'm saving my rage for the series of paintings that I have sketched but won't be able to start for a while yet.

I nearly died during my 2nd c/s and wasn't stable for 2 hrs following- another unnecessary c/s with an OB assault added on for good measure... Also a story for paintings.

Anyway, both of my freebirths following those c/s's were AWESOME!!! I will probably chronicle some aspect of them visually too- but they may be sculptures since the experience was so real, and beautiful and very tactile; the process of sculpting appeals to my thoughts and feelings about those births.

I ache for creating. I mean that I even have a physical need or urge in me much like (as another artist put it- paraphrased) thirst that begs to be quenched with cool, refreshing water, and nothing else will do... sigh...

[AllisonR]

Totally OT: PreggieUBA2C - Wow - 2 vaginal births after 2 cesareans. I would be sooooo proud of myself if I were you. Sometimes the system cocks up so badly, that people that would have accepted "typical care" as totally satisfying, come away with "what the f*ck happened? Why? Why? Why? What in h*ll am I going to do this time to get it better because I don't trust the medical community AT ALL anymore." What doesn't kill you will make you wiser - and that is so true.

Seriously consider taking the time to paint, sculpt or write about your 2 C-sections. It will help your healing process so much, mentally and physically. After my 1st secion, I ABSOLUTELY HAD to write it all down. I spend 18 months writing, re-writing, analyzing what happened to me specifically and to society as a whole,submitting to literary agents.... I NEEDED to write it, or I never would have gotten through my rage and PTSD. I should hav died, my dear son should have died, and 3.5 years later I still say if it was ever to be again, death would still be the BEST option. But also 3.5 years later I can re-read it and realize why it wasn't good enough to publish, but that it was NECESSARY for me, at the time. To heal. Not to be 100% better, or the same as I was before, I am too old, jaded and wise for that now, but nevertheless to heal. When DD was born, also ending with C-section, but under my control and at my decision, and even though they cocked up and I ended with nerve damage, the birth was so much better that I didn't need to write it. I didn't need to heal. I hope you know what I mean.

[DaughterOfKali]

I think it's a great idea to write down the c-section experience. I should try that.

[TeaLeaf]

I hear you!!!

We're building a new house and I asked for a studio; now the question is whether or not I'll have time... ideas are pilling up and getting dusty. I can't wait for DS to be old enough to lend a hand or play with clay in a corner while I work on my sculptures

[PreggieUBA2C]

AllisonR, I know I need to do this, but I really don't want to write it down. I'd rather work through it in imagery because that's what I saw when things were going badly; I wasn't in word mode at all- just images and sensations and rage. I hope that I can rid my rage through my paintings so that I can move onto sculpting my beautiful birth experiences. I just think I have to do this in order to be really satisfied. I guess I'll eventually find out- when I can paint again, that is... Aha! I knew I could tie this into the thread topic I know- this is OT, but really not since all of the distractions are what we're here to discuss, right?

I am so happy to see that you are embarking on a sculpting project!!! That's wonderful!

[thebarkingbird]

this weekend i made a kind of painful decision. actually, it might be melodramatic to call it painful. i've been faced with worse. i sent my 6mo to spend the night with his grandmother. i swore i'd not do it until he weened but my boobs have apparently decided to adjust their output according to my whim this time no supply problems even when he had to be separated for medical reasons for a whole day. Baby still gets about 90 percent of his nutrition form me but i've decided that once a month or so both the kids are going to grandparents house for a whole weekend. i got to have a beer and work on my drawing. it was strange and uncomfortable this weekend but i think it will become a wonderful experience once i get over the guilt.

i never get that whole "ten minuets here then there" thing. my husband actually suggested that i put the baby in a jumper and stop every time he cries . yeah, cause he gets soooooooo much code written that way.

i have started to make art out of left over bits of paper and things. i like the results but would love to do something that was completed over time.

[wishnik]

I haven't done any art for about three years now. I have a two year old and I'm just too focused on being a mommy. But I really miss being creative sometimes. I try to find creative outlets. DS and I do a lot of toddler art together, so I kind of get some vicarious satisfaction creating all these abstract pieces with him. It's really a lot of fun! I don't push it, but whenever he wants do do something I'm right there with all the supplies. Our home is covered with toddler art. I found cooking can be really satisfying, and he helps me cook to add to the challenge. I try to relate to his world and see things like a toddler, this stops me from becoming a mom robot-- we collect rocks, look at bugs and leaves and flowers, child led play, exploring the house, it helps to find interest in all the mundane things in life, observing things together like artists. Somehow it helps get out some of that pent up lack of being able to do something more involved on my own. I'd like to keep exploring all kinds of art with him and work up to bigger and better things. Good luck art mammas!

[PreggieUBA2C]

Originally Posted by thebarkingbird

i never get that whole "ten minuets here then there" thing. my husband actually suggested that i put the baby in a jumper and stop every time he cries . yeah, cause he gets soooooooo much code written that way.

[WildCanaryCait]

My studio looks like someone picked it up and shook it upside down. ack! but slooowwwlllyy I am getting back into 'MuddyGirl' mode. Aidan loves the clay, loves his paint, so I get a tiny bit of time in almost daily. Right now it's just revamping the space, but it feels good and forward to just be in there getting close, reinventing the place, swirling the energy around, renewing it with Aidan's energy too Keep at it ladies, it's comin!

[leafylady]

I do metal art. I learned how to jump in and out of focus when my children were younger. I had to. I had to finish up some half-paid, half-completed commissions.

We also used part time daycare when my children were younger. It was great for the kids and great for me.
Now my kids are old enough to be in school.

When my husband is on daddy duty, I don't do the household chores, even if they desperately need done. I do laundry only at bedtime. Metalsmithing keeps me mentally happy. Housework does not. So I prioritize metal art over housework.

You absolutely can't do it all. So you have to decide on the most important things. Obviously kids come first, then husband. Then you have to decide on the next priority....

[leafylady]

You could also try some different art forms, like sculpture by needlefelting or polymer clay.

You could also do watercolors in the house with the kids. Maybe the stuff you come up with without being focused will actually be good! a new path for you.

[momasara]

I have a Moleskine sketchbook sitting beside the rocker where I scribble and draw whatever I see just to keep my sanity. I can't paint in tiny bursts either. Hubby said we can work out times for me to paint after he graduates... 2 weeks. I read a quote somewhere that said the artist paints when he/she can no longer stand the pain of not painting... or something like that.

I came to the realization the other day that I probably won't be able to just take off and paint whenever I want anymore. That was more disturbing than my realization that weekends are no longer weekends for me.

I was kind of hoping to get LO into painting when he's a bit older, so I could paint while he paints... Is that realistic?

[g&a]

Originally Posted by momasara

I was kind of hoping to get LO into painting when he's a bit older, so I could paint while he paints... Is that realistic?

Not sure how old your LO is. Mine is 4. On 3 separate occasions recently I have set up the paints only to find that painting takes a lot of supervision and I don't get to do any painting as the supervisor. the paints are back down in the basement. Of course, these are fabric paints, so you have to be totally on top of everything as there's big potential for big messes, so other paints might be different.

You might have better luck with naptime, or when the kids are at school or a birthday party or something.

g

[momasara]

Originally Posted by Adam_jsr

hi,

I think i can help you all there on this issue.If you are really good in oil paintings then i think this place will be best for you. This place will give you immense options as well as career opportunities also.

Thanks.

JSR Solution

Is this allowed? I have read all of this person's quotes and every one is an advertisement for his company. :

[leafylady]

I think you can definitely get your kids into painting. You just have to make it simple and fun. Set up an environment so that your child can make a mess and doesn't need constant supervision. Let them get non-toxic paints on their clothes, hands, and the floor- or whatever you have protecting the floor.
Kids love the process. You have to let them explore without getting worked up over messes. You also can't make the materials too precious. It's fine to give them good quality materials, but not if you are going to worry about how much all of this joyful creative activity is costing.

hint- Crayola brand is a whole lot more washable than RoseArt brand.