What's your story? Re: clutter and cleaning

[MonkeyPrincess]

Warning, very long ramble...

I did okay with one kid - my house was always clean but lived in. (When I dream and I'm at home in my dream, this house is always my home.) After my second, I had PPD and it was a total disaster. Like a friend came in once when I wasn't home to stop them and they ran through the house looking for me because they thought someone had broken in.

Just as I was getting things (PPD and housekeeping) under control, I got pregnant and was super sick during my third pregnancy and had a very high needs baby. When I cleaned up the living room, I literally was sweeping up food and trash along with clothes, toys and dishes. Gross.

It was horrible, I had no idea how to keep up a house. My mom was super clean - uncomfortable and embarassing clean. I didn't know what was normal for a long time - I want clean, but homey, lived in. And I don't know how. So I'm still learning. It doesn't help that I am a perfectionist with an all or nothing kind of personality. Since I didn't get 3 hour blocks of time to wash the floors on my hands and knees, I didn't wash it at all. I never knew a mop could be used to clean the floor. Add in dishes, laundry, trash, etc. That's one messy house.

Then I had another baby and a few weeks later decided to pull my older kids out of school. So I was completely and totally overwhelmed again. Plus, now its not just keeping up after my mess and a babys things - it was six different people to clean up after.

I just couldn't get on top of things. Until now. Immediately after I had my last baby, I felt like I finally found my way through the fog I had been wading through, but didn't know it until I was out of it. Literally, seconds after she was born, I felt more like myself than I had in years - in more ways than one.

That was 8 months ago, and I finally feel like I really do have things under control. I actually get the dishes done after we eat, not two days later. Laundry is a huge issue still, but that's because I'm working deeper into the whole storage thing, not just skimming the surface trying to keep up - I'm at the worse before it gets better stage with that, but I have a clear plan and I'm doing well with it.

I've never been a packrat - I tend to be sentimental and do have an odd attachment to certain things, but I'm working on that. The good thing is, I can be ruthless! Filling up donation boxes gives me a thrill! It's so freeing. My big problem wasn't ever really clutter, I tend to be more very practical and somewhat of a minimalist. My downfall is upkeep. But by not being able to stay on top of things for so long, I have collected some clutter.

Dh thinks I secretly want to get folding chairs in place of the couch. Not totally true, I'd love to get rid of our big old couch, but for lovesacs instead!

So what's your story?

[notwonamesalike]

We were insurance poor growing up. Dad had cancer for as long as I can remember and all our money went to medical bills and to life insurance. Consequently we didn't have much in terms of material things.

After he died, my mother went a little crazy with the spending. Suddenly she had money. As more and more things came into the house, nothing went out. Instead it was boxed up and put in storage in her massive garage and closets. One room downstairs was relegated as the junk room. Piled high with junk.

When she died unexpectedly, we didn't have much time to clear out the house and get it ready to go on the market. I was overwhelmed with the sheer amount of stuff. Boxes in the garage with tax information that went back to the 70's. Canned cherries from 86 (this was in 2004) Most of her house went in storage temporarily as DH and I lived on the other side of the country. When we moved back out this direction a year later, we stopped in her town and loaded the storage unit up in our moving van and moved it to our new home.

So we had all of our stuff and all of her stuff to contend with. It's taken me some time to decide if I'm hanging on to items because I love them or if it's because it was mom's and dad's. It's been a process but I've slowly come to the realization that my parents were more than the sum of their belongings, and just hanging onto "stuff" because it was theirs does not honor them or their memories.

I started seriously decluttering when we found out I was pregnant with our first child last year. Nesting instinct I guess. I've been doing it ever since, with the exception of the 2 months I was in a deep dark fog from PPD. Once I got help for that, and came through the other side I got back to decluttering and cleaning. For me, the state of the house is directly proportional to the state of my mind.

I now only hang onto items I REALLY love or use. For everything that comes into the house, something else must leave.

I'm a work in progress, but I'm finally at the point where it doesn't take us long to go from messy to clean when company comes over, and for us to be able to enjoy life, rather than feel trapped by our belongings.

[jennifercp8]

DH and I were a DINK family for the first 4 years of our lives together (lived together), and he is a tech junkie. We accumulated TONS of stuff. And then we rented a house that was 3600 square feet with a 3 car garage. We (naturally) ballooned the amount of stuff to fill the space. Then we bought a 2400 square foot house, and spent a year putting our own sweat equity in it. All of our stuff went into storage except for the bare minimum. We no longer bought the extra stuff, and I started getting better about buying the cute random things on sale that I saw at the store.

When the house was finished and it came time to really move in, we had TOO much stuff. Thank goodness for Craig's List and Freecycle! We unloaded a LOT of stuff. We had 2 living room sets, a dining room set, piano, bar stool/table, kitchen table set, 3 bedroom sets, 2 desk/office sets, and a large collection of tables, lamps, etc. And it was all matched/professional furniture that we had purchased together, or quality pieces before we met (not college type futons, etc).

Then while the house was on the market, we traveled for DH's work and we hop the pond back and forth from France. I have learned to live without all the stuff, and we have downsized considerably. its amazing how much easier life is when you aren't always scouring the "junk drawer".

But I still feel like we are drowning in excess baggage. I need to do another big purge - maybe when its time to have our stuff shipped here to France for our permanent move. My biggest obstacle is all the kitchen stuff. DH and I enjoy doing a lot of cooking, and we have a lot of gadgets and kitchen paraphernalia - I couldn't imagine ever getting rid of it, but there is NO WAY my oversized turkey platter from Pottery Barn is going to fit in a small European kitchen!