Ridiculed by family...

[MarcyC]

My family just doesn't get it! They seriously don't!! I pumped a ton of milk on the 23rd and 24th. So on Christmas Day when we were going to my mom's I had plenty of milk for DS plus I took my pump with me. Well, at one point when he was hungry, I took him back to a back bedroom to feed him. I pulled up my t-shirt, un-hooked my bra and held him skin to skin as I fed him. My sister, under the assumption that I was "just" bottlefeeding (her words), walked in the room. The first thing she said was, "eeww...what are you doing to him?" Of course, hearing that, my mom and SIL walk back. Then he gets upset and doesn't want his bottle and starts crying. So I'm sitting there with a b@@b hanging out, a crying baby and a bottle trying to explain the importance of skin-to-skin, mother-baby bonding, etc...

Finally, they left us in peace for me to finish feeding him, but they weren't done. When we finally emerged from the room they continued on. How strange I was, how wierd it was...isn't the "point" of bottle feeding to be able to feed him anywhere, anytime, etc?

Now...I love my mom and she has always held my kids close when feeding them...never a bottle propper (even when my sister and I were babies and bottle propping at night was all the rage, she never did it). So she knows the importance of holding a baby close and bonding, but they (mom, sister, SIL) just think the whole skin-to-skin thing is over the top. They think I'm wierd.

So the next time he was hungry I whipped out my nursing cover up. It's a nice one - not a huge poncho looking thing. A little on the small side but it serves it's purpose. I bought it because using an SNS in public is a little awkward and also because DS is a "popper" (b/c of his tongue tie). SO...I put him under the nursing cover, did the same thing with my shirt and bra and let him nurse for awhile, but then when he became frustrated I grabbed the bottle off the table and then let him finish his "feeding" with the bottle.

Once again, I got, "why don't you, when you're finished nursing, cover back up and then give him the bottle?" Why do you keep him under that thing? Grrr....I don't know how to get people to see the importance of what I'm doing.

On a side note, we went to the mall yesterday and let me just put it this way: there were a lot of bottles and not a lot of mother-baby interaction. It was sad.

[silverspook]

I'm so sorry your family isn't understanding. YOU know you're doing what's best, so just keep going no matter what they say!

[velcromom]

That stinks! It's so hard when family doesn't get or seem to WANT to get the importance of the things we do, especially when you are putting forth so much effort to make it happen.

[transylvania_mom]

Originally Posted by MarcyC

Why do you keep him under that thing?

they may be right, you know... Next time you want to nurse him, just take out your boob and don't worry about what they're saying.
You don't have to defend the choice to offer your child the best nourishment possible.
You have to cover up in front of your MOM and SISTER? :

[mama_b4]

While reading your post, the main comment going through my head was "what $%@$#" Im so sorry you have to deal with that with your very own family. Especially that they are women, sheesh! You just keep doing what is right for you and your child.

[minnowmomma]

asn't the whole purpose of your going into another room so you could have privacy? you need to tell them to piss off because it's your body and your baby and you don't need to explain the reasons why you do the things you do and if they have any negative comments they need to keep them to themselves.

[MarcyC]

I put him under a nursing cover and/or go into another room for privacy. Even with pumped breastmilk, bottle feeding is my first (nor the optimal) choice. But when you have an undiagnosed/misdiagnosed tongue tie and peds and ENT's with their heads up their *bleeps*, you do what you gotta do. I feel like I need to intentionally create that privacy/bonding/skin time for us that a nursing child would just get automatically.

[IdahoMom]

I'm sorry. I can't imagine my sisters treating me that way, even though they weren't breastfeeders.

[MommytoTwo]

I am so sorry. Why dont you type up an email with information addressing each of the things they commented on? Not that I think you need to explain yourself, it would be to educate them so they can keep their mouths shut.

[2crazykids]

Oh Mama, I hear and feel your pain. I went through something quite similar...It sucks.

It is SOOOOOO hard to do the right thing when so many people are telling you that it's wrong. And it's sooooo easy to doubt yourself in this culture...

You are doing the right thing for your child and that is all that matters; but you knew that!

[RolliePollie]

Family can be hard, but what's important is that YOU know you're doing the best thing for your baby. Ds is almost 2 and when we nursed I will sometimes lift up both of our shirts and let our tummies touch.

[llamalluv]

Originally Posted by minnowmomma

asn't the whole purpose of your going into another room so you could have privacy? you need to tell them to piss off because it's your body and your baby and you don't need to explain the reasons why you do the things you do and if they have any negative comments they need to keep them to themselves.

no kidding. I mean, now women are getting harassed (by FAMILY?!) when they hide themselves away in another ROOM?! :

[Mom2J]

[Breastfeeding Insomniac]

I'm so sorry
If you were my sister, i'd be so proud of you for recognizing the importance of skin to skin contact

[RootSnort]

Grrrrr!
I apologize for preaching to the choir if you already know this, but here's a concrete scientific WHY it's better to nurse when you can. Understand, this is coming from an EPer who wishes that she could nurse, so I'm not judging anyone.

The breasts actually have their own little immune system going on in there. When baby comes into contact with a germ, they expose your breast to it when they nurse. The immune tissue inside the breast develops antibiodies and puts them in the milk for the baby, before the rest of your body has any idea that anythign ever happened.
There's a bunch of reasons why milk from the tap is better, another having to do with foremilk and hindmilk balance, proper flow control, pacing of eating, and avoiding overeating, obesity, and gas.
Not to mention skin to skin being so wonderful for everyone's everything - mental and emotional wellbeing on so many different levels.

So I apologize if I have stated the obvious, I'm just on a tear now!

[ruhbehka]

s

I notice that at the malls here, too. Although I have also noticed a large number of my more "mainstream" friends tend to pump and give bottles when they go out, rather than nurse. So maybe at least some of those bottles had EBM?

PM'ing you about getting together soon.