McGruff Safeguard

[Irishmommy]

Anyone heard of/use this? http://www.gomcgruff.com/m/index.asp It silently monitors your kid's computer and lets you know of any unsafe activity. Dh wants to install it on dd's computer.

[Lucky.]

This seems pretty interesting!

I was wondering how they make money off of this, and I found it in the FAQ.

You can monitor your child's activity history up to 3 days. If you get lax and decide to check it once a week or so, you'll need to get the pro version.

http://www.gomcgruff.com/m/faqs.asp

Never hurts to check it out though.

Not that I've heard it here, but I've noticed lots of parents only concerned about blocking MySpace or FaceBook. If you're looking to block only a handful of sites, it's possible to edit your hosts file in Windows to get the job done. It's a cheap hack, but it gets the job done for what its worth. However if you're concerned about other unknown sites, etc, software is always the next step.

[UnschoolnMa]

Not my thing at all. The only way I'd ever use something like this would be if my kids agreed to it/wanted it. The silent spying thing eeks me out.

[mommy68]

My kids use my computer in the den. I know everywhere they go on it. They only do research for school work and go to Nick, Lego and other cartoon related sites. If I felt the need to use the spying then I would though. It's my computer, my home, etc. I have that right. I want them to be safe.

[enkmom]

I trust my children, and feel that they are entitled to privacy online and in their everyday lives. I would certainly feel violated to know that they were spying on me!

[Irishmommy]

We trust our dd. We don't trust random strangers on the Internet.

[fek&fuzz]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

We trust our dd. We don't trust random strangers on the Internet.

Do you trust her to tell you if she's having creepy conversations with someone? Or if someone is trying to converse with her? Wouldn't she know to ignore them and tell you about it?

[UnschoolnMa]

I get the "I don't trust everyone else" thing. I really do. But I don't have a relationship with everyone else either. My focus is on my Dd, and making sure she can/will talk to me about things and people and situations without fear or worrying about me being angry. Several times Dd has told me of something that happened online that she was grossed out by, found inappropriate, wondered if it was inappropriate, and etc. We've also watched many shows with the plot line being "Kid gets into bad situatuon with online predator" and it opens up a way to talk about that... the warning signs, etc.

[Irishmommy]

Originally Posted by fek&fuzz

Do you trust her to tell you if she's having creepy conversations with someone? Or if someone is trying to converse with her? Wouldn't she know to ignore them and tell you about it?

If it develops into a creepy conversation, then of course. But she's only 13 (and a reasonably young 13). If a conversation was started, but didn't develop, it might not even be on her radar to mention anything.

[Irishmommy]

Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

I get the "I don't trust everyone else" thing. I really do. But I don't have a relationship with everyone else either. My focus is on my Dd, and making sure she can/will talk to me about things and people and situations without fear or worrying about me being angry. Several times Dd has told me of something that happened online that she was grossed out by, found inappropriate, wondered if it was inappropriate, and etc. We've also watched many shows with the plot line being "Kid gets into bad situatuon with online predator" and it opens up a way to talk about that... the warning signs, etc.

We do talk, that's not the point. The point is explained above.

[Irishmommy]

Oh, and I was actually looking for opinions on the actual programme, not on my parenting.

[MamaLisa1]

I think it looks great, and I am downloading it on all our computers. Thanks for the link, and I hope it works well for you too!

[Calidris]

How does it work though? Does it look for key words? Does it send you chat transcripts? Does it monitor who her friends are?
Seems pretty invasive to me, but then, I have a 4 year old, what do I know?

[fek&fuzz]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

Oh, and I was actually looking for opinions on the actual programme, not on my parenting.

That's the thing about this site, people love to give their opinions on parenting, whether you want it or not. Maybe you can set up the program to block those people.

Seriously, though, having the program probably can't hurt anything, and if there were really creepy people trying to talk to her, then being able to have it sent to law enforcement would probably be a good idea.

[UnschoolnMa]

Not commenting on your parenting, but my first post was just saying that I don't use the program because it goes against my parenting.

[Bestbirths]

there is another software package called pandora that keeps track of every key stroke that is made on every computer in the house, even if you have a network with many computers.

I plan on using it to find all my daughters myspaces, emails, and passwords. Then, I plan on changing her passwords so that she can only access her emails, and myspaces when she is in my presence.

Then, once she proves herself while with me after a time of rebuilding trust, I plan on letting her be on the internet alone. At that time, I plan on checking what she is up to periodically. Not to check every email, but just weekly checking to make sure she is surfing the internet safely.

I feel like being on the internet is like driving. First you get a permit and you drive with a licenced driver. It is only when you prove that you can drive safely that you get a licence and are allowed on the road alone. If you drive drunk and irresponsibly, you may have something put on your car that makes you have to blow into a breathalizer to use the vehicle.

If we put this into a driver analogy...my daughter would have lost her internet licence...we set guidelines for her safety and those were ignored. So, I currently sit with her while she is on the internet and we have blocks on every single computer with passwords that she doesn't know. She still manages to find ways to get onto computers into secret email accounts and myspace accounts. She is very smart. She hooked an old cpu and monitor to an internet access point we didn't even know we had in the basement to chat with strangers online.

She can't get onto her myspace I know about without me because only I know her passcode. I have to approve of each friend and we have to know them in real life.

I plan on getting the pandora program or something like that, and periodically check to make sure no pedifile is casing out my kid.

I know this goes against some peoples parenting and trust is the goal, but we don't have that so we are going to do whatever we can to keep our child safe.

Part of this is education. We had our child visit the local police internet crime task force and see all of the pedifiles they caught, and the picture of what they sent originally to the undercover officer who was posing as a kid. The pictures of who they said they were was way different then what they looked like when they showed up in person. Some used their teenaged son's pictures, or pictures of them 20 years ago. They always show up to meet the child with disturbing items planning to have sex with the children when they were arrested by an undercover cop. The pedifiles spend a long time grooming the children for meetings and sex. They start out slow and gradually build up trust over time. now there are some kids you don't have to worry about on the internet, and some kids you do...I don't feel like because I am in one boat it is some failure on my parenting any more than i feel like some great parent that I have four other children who surf the net responsibly.

I am organizing an internet safety seminar for homeschooled children, and having our local sunflower house and kelsey smith foundation give their internet and personal safety presentations. I am really looking forward to it because I think it is very much needed.

[pigpokey]

I would leave the computer out in the public areas and leave it at that. Same with alcohol or other things the young person could get into trouble for. I think you drink with the family, then your child has a good model and learns.

No one needs to have internet access in his private bedroom.

There should be basic filters on porn, and that would be analogous in my mind to drinking beer and wine rather than throwing back three scotches every night.

[Calidris]

I plan on using it to find all my daughters myspaces, emails, and passwords. Then, I plan on changing her passwords so that she can only access her emails, and myspaces when she is in my presence.

Then, once she proves herself while with me after a time of rebuilding trust, I plan on letting her be on the internet alone. At that time, I plan on checking what she is up to periodically. Not to check every email, but just weekly checking to make sure she is surfing the internet safely.

you're joking, right?

*she says hopefully*

[Bestbirths]

nope..I ain't playing.

She is currently only allowed on when an adult is with her. I don't need to rehash the series of choices she has made to get to this point, but suffice to say it has been a problem for two years.

Our computers are in bedrooms and offices, and we have five. We are not going to only have computers in the main areas of the house. the pandora program would allow me to do what maybe could have been done in the first place, and that is have control of passcodes to email and myspaces until she is old enough to handle the responsibility.

Also my child might not be like your child, my child is mercury toxic, and has high levels of aluminum and mercury in her hair test. This might effect her decision making and put it outside of normal. I feel like this situation is requiring us to take extra measures to protect her just like parents of autistic kids put alarms on their front doors. Of course I feel like crap when i see normal kids this age handling the internet with seemingly flawless responsibility...it aint fun being in our shoes and I wish I was able to just buy her a laptop and let her free with it. that is our goal.

[Bestbirths]

speaking of this...did anyone read what Peggy O'mara had to say in this issue of mothering on trusting your child...that was such good stuff. I cried when i read it...I really feel off the mark on that one...