Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › Preteens and Teens › Ways to say NO
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Ways to say NO  

post #1 of 15
12/29/07 at 1:34am
Thread Starter 
help me come up with a list of ways for a young girl to say NO to sex
post #2 of 15
12/29/07 at 3:04am
do they need to be polite?
post #3 of 15
12/29/07 at 4:12am
"No - I don't want to".

If they pull the crappy old "you'd do it if you loved me" line, then "if you loved me, you wouldn't ask when you know I'm not ready for that".

I can't think of anything else, because it seems like a pretty straightforward issue to me...
post #4 of 15
12/29/07 at 5:31am
Yeah, a "No" should get it done, but I guess you could say it in a few different ways.

"I'm not going to have sex right now."

"I am not ready to have sex with you or with anyone."

"It's not going to happen"

"I am not ready for this. I am saying no."

"I want to be very clear that I am not going to have sex with you right now."
post #5 of 15
12/29/07 at 10:05pm
How old is this young girl, and what is the reason for the list? are you trying to help her be abstinent or are you trying to give her some phrases to use if she isn't ready for _______ and the person doesn't listen to "no".
post #6 of 15
12/29/07 at 11:25pm
I'm not going to have sex right now, because I have a lot of school I need to get through. Even if you wear a condom or I'm on the pill, I could still get pregnant, and that would be MY problem I'd have to deal with. I don't agree with abortion (or I do agree with abortion but don't want to put myself through that) and if I had a baby right now I wouldn't be able to finish school and get to where I want to be. If guys could get pregnant you wouldn't be so eager to have sex. I think you're great and all, but I'm not interested in having your baby right now. Do you think you'd be interested in paying eighteen years' worth of child support for a few minutes of good feeling?

Anal sex? Oral sex? Are you kidding me? You think I'm going to do something to get you off when I'm not getting anything out of it? No, thanks; I'll wait until I'm ready to experience everything and then decide which varieties I find most appealing.
post #7 of 15
12/30/07 at 12:19am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa View Post

Anal sex? Oral sex? Are you kidding me? You think I'm going to do something to get you off when I'm not getting anything out of it? No, thanks; I'll wait until I'm ready to experience everything and then decide which varieties I find most appealing.

Actually I wouldn't personally recommend this part. Oral sex and other things can actually be very pleasurable to both people. (Why wouldn't she get to be the recipient of oral sex too?) If a person isn't ready for sexuality, be it oral or otherwise, that is perfectly acceptable. However, suggesting that a girl wouldn't receive any pleasure from other kinds of sexual activity other than intercourse isn't accurate.
post #8 of 15
12/30/07 at 1:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post

Actually I wouldn't personally recommend this part. Oral sex and other things can actually be very pleasurable to both people. (Why wouldn't she get to be the recipient of oral sex too?) If a person isn't ready for sexuality, be it oral or otherwise, that is perfectly acceptable. However, suggesting that a girl wouldn't receive any pleasure from other kinds of sexual activity other than intercourse isn't accurate.
True, but the op asked for ways for a girl to say no to sex. I'd imagine that when the pregnancy argument shuts down vaginal sex, the persistent guy would move onto non-pregnancy risk sex and continue with the pressure. I'm just trying to give ways to shut down the pressure without wavering, not necessarily voicing my own feelings about any sort of sexual activity.
post #9 of 15
12/30/07 at 1:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa View Post
True, but the op asked for ways for a girl to say no to sex. I'd imagine that when the pregnancy argument shuts down vaginal sex, the persistent guy would move onto non-pregnancy risk sex and continue with the pressure. I'm just trying to give ways to shut down the pressure without wavering, not necessarily voicing my own feelings about any sort of sexual activity.
Except the way you phrased it assumes that the guy isn't pressuring her to perform oral sex on her. It also assumes that a woman doesn't get any benefit from performing oral sex on a man. Or that she doesn't get any benefit from anal sex, which while they may be true for some people, is NOT true for others

The simple reason of not wanting to risk STDs is logical for refusing both oral and anal sex.
post #10 of 15
12/30/07 at 8:26pm
'No'. But in a relationship it is good to talk about these things (assuming both people are willing and able to discuss it.) So I would advice the young girl to work out why she doesn't want to have sex and then explain thisto her partner.
post #11 of 15
12/30/07 at 9:44pm
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala :
post #12 of 15
1/1/08 at 1:28am
Thread Starter 

here is what i gave her

Ways to Say No
1. Nope
2. I’m not ready
3. Negatory
4. Thanks, but no thanks.
5. Non, merci.
6. I cant support a child
7. I'm saving myself
8. Go to bed? I'm not even tired!
9. My parents will kill us both
10. I'm fasting from sex on days that end with the letter Y.
11. I'm afraid of the dark.
12. (Laugh)
13. You've obviously mistaken me for someone who's interested.
14. A snowball has a better chance in hell.
15. Its against my religion
16. its not worth it
17. No one will care? Let's go ask my parents!
18. I'm proud of my virginity, and I want to stay that way.
19. I'd rather sit at home and watch my toilet flush.
20. Everyone's doing it? Then you won't have a problem finding someone else.
21. Everyone's doing it? Well I'm not and tonight neither are you.
22. I would rather watch a movie
23. The one thing that needs to be turned on in here is the lights.
24. We’re too young
25. I'm one in a million? So are your chances.
26. Anatomy wasn't part of my homework assignment.
27. With all these diseases going around?
28. I love you but not that much
29. Oh, sorry - were you talking?
30. I thought you were different
31. Let’s wait
32. I want to know you better
33. This isn’t the right time
34. Lets talk about this next year
35. I'd rather break up then break out with herpes.
36. Would you like a pillow with that dream?
37. How do I like my eggs in the morning? Unfertilized, thank you.
38. I have a headache
39. No thanks
40. NO
post #13 of 15
1/1/08 at 2:10am
I also think the art of redirection should be mentioned for both parties.

I am enjoying kissing/ you but I think we need to xyz right now. Lets face it heavy petting leaves us hornier and harder to say no so redirecting ourselves and our partner to other activies can be best.

Lets hang out here in the mall instead of your house alone.

At younger ages I think not putting ourselves in tempation way is helpful.
post #14 of 15
1/1/08 at 2:19am
Spring...your list is worthy to be read to my teen, printed, practiced out loud....and there will be a quiz on friday....
post #15 of 15
1/1/08 at 2:47am
Thread Starter 
lol thanks I also gave her a list of reasons to say know to help reinforce what we talke about.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Preteens and Teens
This thread is locked  
Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › Preteens and Teens › Ways to say NO