Originally Posted by chicagomom
Well, first of all I don't dictate to anyone.
But second, I do think it's perfectly reasonable to be asked to respect the "house rules" while one is a guest in someone's home.
My question is not in the rightness of such a request. It is rather how to do it in a way that respects both the child and the parent and does not humiliate either of them.
I don't think I would approach it so much in terms of "house rules"--after all, if her "house rules" were that children who "talk back" should ingest soap, you certainly wouldn't comply (nor should you). I would stop looking at what happened as an offense against *you* and see it for the offense that it is against her child.
That said, I understand why that would be upsetting to you.
I don't think it would be inappropriate for you to say something to her about it, but I would really be careful to do so respectfully. She probably thinks she is doing her child a favor (by "teaching" him not to "disrespect" her, or whatever), and doesn't see what she's doing as abusive, counterproductive, disrespectful and generally ridiculous. So approach her carefully, but approach her. It's quite possible she's just never really considered what it is she's really *doing* when she does something like that to her child.