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It finally happened  

post #1 of 21
12/29/07 at 12:38pm
Thread Starter 
This has been bothering me for a couple days now so I thought I would vent to some moms who understand.

I am visiting my family for x-mas and my mom and I went out to a children's clothing store to get some warmer clothes. While we were in there, my son needed to nurse. I waited a little too long to listen to his cues so by this point he was crying. I was trying to walk and latch at the same time and my mom kept throwing a blanket over me. I politely said 3 times "I don't need that mom but thanks". Finally I got a little annoyed and told her I have a hard time latching him on when I can't see so please stop covering me up. She said "there are children in here! I don't think we need to be making a scene and getting other moms mad at us for flashing their children"

I was

I am so annoyed that my own family member made a comment like that. Once I cooled down later, I tried to explain that children seeing me nurse is a good thing because they learn it's normal. She just shrugged it off and said she understands I am "liberal" but I need to be considerate of others while I am in public.

To top it all off....my grandpa passed away this week and I was told by the funeral director that if I need to nurse I need to go into the nursing room. Then I talked to my mom about it and said I am not missing my grandfathers funeral if my son needs to nurse and she told me it would be alright if I covered up and didn't cause a scene.

:
post #2 of 21
12/29/07 at 12:41pm
post #3 of 21
12/29/07 at 12:50pm
:
thank you for NIP and on family who don't get it!
post #4 of 21
12/29/07 at 12:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by velcromom View Post
:
thank you for NIP and on family who don't get it!
:
post #5 of 21
12/29/07 at 1:02pm
Wow, sorry for all of that! I also can not believe the funeral director told you that! You are grieving for your grandfather, and this is his concern? If you have bf protection laws in your state, please send him a copy.
post #6 of 21
12/29/07 at 2:03pm
Momma. My mother did the same thing to me with my 1st. By my 3rd she knew better than to even try it. She did tell me that once DD turned a year i needed to stop NIP and only do it at home Ha like that was going to happen.
As far a what the funeral director said I'd have politely as possible told him where to stick his nursing room. I nursed DD in late Oct. at DH's Grandmother's funeral during the receiving of friends and the next day at the service before going to the cemetery. Of course both families know they better not dare say anything negative to me.
post #7 of 21
12/29/07 at 2:41pm


I'm sorry that you have to face that from your own family, I agree about sending the funeral director your state laws if you have ones regarding breastfeeding.
post #8 of 21
12/29/07 at 2:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breastfeeding Insomniac View Post
Wow, sorry for all of that! I also can not believe the funeral director told you that! You are grieving for your grandfather, and this is his concern? If you have bf protection laws in your state, please send him a copy.

I totally agree! I'm so sorry you had to go through something like this... it can definitely be more difficult when it comes from our moms. You're awesome for keeping your stance!

take care,
carla
post #9 of 21
12/29/07 at 11:36pm
(((hugs))). You are dealing w/ this and you're grieving. (((hugs)))

Once you have been nursing a while & people start to realize you won't be roused by them, they'll back off. When my dd was little, maybe 9 months, maybe older, my mom, dd & I were waiting for a table at a restaraunt. I needed to nurse her & was looking for a good place to sit. She suggested I go in the bathroom. I said no. She doesn't say anything now that I'm nursing my second child at 2.5 y.o. everywhere.

It gets easier. It's tough when you're new at it, people think that they can tell you to mind everyone else but your child. Perhaps you can put it back on them and ask "what about dd's needs?"

You're doing a great thing!

Sus
post #10 of 21
12/29/07 at 11:55pm
it is just her world that is the way it was when she had you in time she will get it (i hope) took my mom a bit and every now and again we get a flash back where she says about covering up i just let it pass. if i was handed that blanket i say thanks and use it in a way like as a blanket should be used for just of my way of taking away the object away from them
post #11 of 21
12/30/07 at 8:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CanidFL View Post
....
To top it all off....my grandpa passed away this week and I was told by the funeral director that if I need to nurse I need to go into the nursing room. Then I talked to my mom about it and said I am not missing my grandfathers funeral if my son needs to nurse and she told me it would be alright if I covered up and didn't cause a scene.

:
I am so upset that you had to go through this. I hope that you are in a state that has friendly BFing laws. If so, I'd simply nurse as you see fit and let the director know the law is on your side ... give him/her a copy of it.

Stick to your guns mamma. Your little darlin' will thank you for it one day. NIP will one day be once again second nature to us all as long as we have dedicated mammas like you leading the way. Thank you!!
post #12 of 21
12/30/07 at 9:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CanidFL View Post
She just shrugged it off and said she understands I am "liberal" but I need to be considerate of others while I am in public.
That is so offensive that I can't even think straight. "Conservative" women nurse, too. Women who are considerate of others nurse, too. She's the one with the problem, not anyone else. How dare she deflect that onto "others." GRRRR:
post #13 of 21
12/30/07 at 7:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllieFaye View Post
That is so offensive that I can't even think straight. "Conservative" women nurse, too. Women who are considerate of others nurse, too. She's the one with the problem, not anyone else. How dare she deflect that onto "others." GRRRR:
OOH! I am : right along with you! "Liberal" and "conservative" means a person is for MORE laws or FEWER laws, respectively. And as a conservative woman, I am opposed to having more and more and more of my money taken away along with my rights, including my right to feed my children!
post #14 of 21
12/30/07 at 7:52pm
Sorry you had to deal with that. I am so thankful that my mother is so pro-bfing. I just don't think I would have the energy to deal with that. Hopefully she'll come around and evolve as your ds grows.
post #15 of 21
12/30/07 at 8:12pm
post #16 of 21
12/30/07 at 10:21pm
If anyone bothers you at the funeral politely and quietly remind them that your child's right to eat is protected by the law.
post #17 of 21
12/31/07 at 1:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonfirefaery View Post
If anyone bothers you at the funeral politely and quietly remind them that your child's right to eat is protected by the law.
And if that doesn't work, resort to crying.

I seriously cannot believe that the FUNERAL DIRECTOR told you that you couldn't nurse during the funeral. Normally those people bend over backwards to make the family comfortable. It's their JOB.
post #18 of 21
12/31/07 at 7:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CanidFL View Post
she told me it would be alright if I covered up and didn't cause a scene.

:
Um, WHO is the one causing the scene? Methinks it's dear old mom.

post #19 of 21
12/31/07 at 3:16pm
For someone who was claiming to not want to "create a scene," she certainly was doing a good job of creating one.
post #20 of 21
12/31/07 at 3:57pm
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