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Poll, long involved drug & children situation - Page 7

Poll Results: What do you think about this woman's situation?

 
  • 31% (148)
    It's fine, she should be open about it, sounds like a great solution.
  • 58% (271)
    It's fine, but she should be careful no one finds out; mixed feelings.
  • 4% (19)
    It's not okay, but understandable, but I don't really want to be as close with her.
  • 0% (3)
    It's not okay and I would cut her off and not do playdates and such with her children.
  • 0% (2)
    It's really not okay, this woman is a drug user, and I would report her.
  • 5% (24)
    Something else; please describe below.
467 Total Votes  
post #121 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by loriforeman View Post
i smoked for several years.

i've been around...many people who WEREN'T "present", many of whom never did anything other than use marijuana. parents who lived to get high and halfway forgot they had kids...children were well-fed and clothed, but didn't get that physical and mental interaction that is so vital.

i quit before deciding to have a family.

i then raised a step-child who was severely emotionally stilted from her mother's drug use. if ever i would have thought it okay...i sure as heck wouldn't have after taking hailey into my home and life.
i have noticed this to be common thinking in people who were raised or surrounded somehow by addicts. they don't understand the difference between abuse & use. to them they are the same thing. there is no "casual use". you are either straight edge or a stoner more or less. just my observations.

personally, i would always feel safer about MJ than a commercial painkiller. MJ has a long history of health benefits & modern pharmaceuticals have a long list of side effects. more power to this mama, i am sure she struggles enough, but i would also caution her to not confide in many people about her treatments.
post #122 of 188
I voted for the first option because I don't have mixed feelings. If everything is as she says she is probably rarely if ever "stoned". However, I think she should be very cautious (bordering on paranoid?) about who she tells.
post #123 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangebird View Post
I'm sick someone can be so closed minded and cold.


No kidding. My ignore list just grew one name longer.
post #124 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by hillymum View Post
I 100% support this mom. IMO she is doing what's best for not just her, but her family too. Saddly I am aware that what she is doing is illegal, and know that there are people who only look at the law, not the situation and can cause trouble. For that reason only I voted on the second option.
post #125 of 188
I can't believe 2 people would report her.

I voted for the 2nd option, but i don't have miexed feelings. I just think she should use discression because of people like those who said they'd report her or disown her as a friend.
post #126 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy View Post
I can't believe 2 people would report her.

I voted for the 2nd option, but i don't have miexed feelings. I just think she should use discression because of people like those who said they'd report her or disown her as a friend.
My feelings exactly.
post #127 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy View Post
I can't believe 2 people would report her.

I voted for the 2nd option, but i don't have miexed feelings. I just think she should use discression because of people like those who said they'd report her or disown her as a friend.
I feel this way as well. I wouldn't report her at all, because I'm quite sure that the alternative to smoking pot is worse than the pot she is inhaling, and it is a medical fact that marijuana has medicinal uses. I would however suggest to her that she doesn't tell anyone at all about this, even if it's someone she absolutely trusts, because honestly, you never know who will decide to turn their backs on you and make a phone call that could break up a family.
post #128 of 188
I honestly cannot believe that someone would think turning her into the police and involving social services would do ANY good?? Thats crazy to me.
post #129 of 188
I would MUCH MUCH rather see her smoking pot and nursing they taking almost ANY OTC or script drug. I'm 100% a-ok with it but she needs to be damn careful because there are some ignorant people out there who wouldn't think twice about hanging her out to dry.
post #130 of 188
I said other, because my feelings fall between the first and second choices. I wish "she" could be open about the solution she has found - so i wish I could choose choice one. Unfortunately, as you have seen by a few answers to this poll, she could be at risk of being ostracized or reported to the police/cps. #2 doesn't really fit for my feelings, though - because I think the vast majority of people would be okay with what she is doing. I think she should just chose those with whom she shares the information carefully.
post #131 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexysmommy View Post
What state does she live in? Medical marijuana licsences are very easy to get in quite a few places. The states i know for sure yhou can get one are CA, OR, AL,WA,Maine,hawaii,colorado,nevada,vermont,montana ,RI,NM,and canada, also arizona and maryland. I am not sure if there are more or not. All you need is a dr saying she has a condition that would benefit from mj use (and it doesnt even have to be her dr, they do have drs just for prescribing this), and for her to pay the liscence fee. It will allow her to purchase , even grow a plant of her own if she wanted to without having to worry about it so much. They are not available in all states, but I think it is totally great that she found something that worked for her, and something natural at that. I think smoking a joint of freshly ground herb is far better than taking synthetic drugs thats for sure. What a relief she must feel to be well enough to enjoy life for a change.
While medicinal MJ is legal under state law in many states, it's illegal under federal law, which technically overrides the state laws. There have been federal raids of medicinal MJ facilities here in California. Sad but true.
post #132 of 188
Free the weed is all I have left to say.
post #133 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
The fact that someone thinks that using medical mj requires one to be altered show how little they actually know about such use.
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexysmommy View Post
well it doesnt sound like this mother is living to get high, rather she is getting high so she can live.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JessasMilkMama View Post
I honestly cannot believe that someone would think turning her into the police and involving social services would do ANY good?? Thats crazy to me.
Amen.

It's so simple in my head. A mother, dealing with chronic pain, and wanting to be the best mother posiable for her children. Smokes pot twice a week, to help her pain, help her live a better life, help her be the best and most present parent she can be.

What does somebody think they should do?

Report her, and cut off all contact? Whoa. I would like to think I live in a bubble where people are in search of the greater good. I would like to believe that when a person is in pain we would be there to support them in their struggle. No the solution to some, cut off contact with her children, tattle on them, and then stop being their friend? WOW that's sympathetic.

Personally I don't care how many addicts a person knows in a lifetime or how many nights you have spent with your mouth to a joint. To see a person in pain, trying to live the best life they can, and wanting to take everything good from them, is cruel.

This woman isn't a addict, she is a person finding the best way to manage her life. This is SO much different than talking about a parent who is neglecting their children in favor of drugs. They aren't even in the same category, they shouldn't be discussed as similar situations. To compare the two is ignorant.
post #134 of 188
I know, if you read my other posts though, you can see that most feds are after growers, and medical facilities, not the actual people who are smoking for pain. What do you think the feds are going to get for finding a joint on someone? Not enough to make it worth their time that is for sure. Social workers have quoted in an article i just read....

“Drugs alone does not constitute a reason for removal,” said Susan Lowe, director of the division. “More relevantly, the issue of medical marijuana does not constitute a reason for us to remove children. There have to be other issues present that indicate neglect or abuse.”

http://orangepunch.freedomblogging.c...cal-marijuana/

This was a case where a mans children were taken, when he was arrested for opening a dispensary. They got their kids back 5 wks later. But if you read the whole article,it talks about how people DO get their kids taken for medical marijuana, and then are forced to choose between their kids and their medicine. It is so sad that this has to happen.
post #135 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by loriforeman View Post
i smoked for several years.

i've been around...many people who WEREN'T "present", many of whom never did anything other than use marijuana. parents who lived to get high and halfway forgot they had kids...children were well-fed and clothed, but didn't get that physical and mental interaction that is so vital.

i quit before deciding to have a family.

i then raised a step-child who was severely emotionally stilted from her mother's drug use. if ever i would have thought it okay...i sure as heck wouldn't have after taking hailey into my home and life.
As I understand it, a female already has all her eggs while still in the womb. Therefore, her mother's actions while she is still in the womb as well as all her actions leading up to conception can affect her child.

So, if you smoked, then it may very well effect your child.

Granted, this doesn't speak to your stimulation comments, but certainly your latter comments.
post #136 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by SugarAndSun View Post
As I understand it, a female already has all her eggs while still in the womb. Therefore, her mother's actions while she is still in the womb as well as all her actions leading up to conception can affect her child.

So, if you smoked, then it may very well effect your child.

Granted, this doesn't speak to your stimulation comments, but certainly your latter comments.
absolutely. i take full responsibility for contributing to the genetic issues of my children. unfortunately, there's nothing i can do to correct that...i can only prevent having any MORE.

i don't feel guilt, per se, because i can only control my current actions...not those that i took in the past.
post #137 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by tireesix View Post
Free the weed is all I have left to say.
Yeah Baby!! Legalize it. Dont critisize it!
post #138 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by loriforeman View Post
i don't feel guilt, per se, because i can only control my current actions...not those that i took in the past.

Well if you can learn from your mistakes in the past maybe you can learn a bit right now about how detrimental it would be to call CPS on a loving mother and children who are not the least bit in harm's way, and also learn a little about medical marijuana, too.
post #139 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy View Post
I can't believe 2 people would report her.
One of those votes was mine, but it was an accident, sorry. I actually didn't mean to vote at all...just thought I'd clear that up.
post #140 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by stormborn View Post
So you don't think that constant pain makes someone "not present"?
:

And what of rx painkillers? I can assure you that the amount that it takes to dull pain has a huge effect on someone's thinking ability, and ability to be 'present' as you say.

I am not pro-pot ordinarily, and I have known quite a few people who I really thought were jumping on the medical pot bandwagon, exaggerating to their drs (and in one case, then growing and dealing under that umbrella) but I do not see any element of that in the original post.

It is really easy to say that you would just live with pain, and that is the choice that I make except for the 1/2 of a vicodin that I take once every month or two- but I think that this hypothetical mama is in a great deal more hypothetical pain than am I, and pain is NOT something that you should just live with. It has a profound effect on every aspect of your life.

Did you read the part of the OP that said the children seem more relaxed? They probably are. It is hard for a child to see their mama in pain. Even if you try not to show it, well, the kids will always know that mommy is not quite herself.
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