Feeling Overwhelmed!!!!!!!

[Cakes]

Hello,

I am weaning my 23 mos old twins and feeling really awful. I am having mood swings, anger issues and no patience at all. I feel like returning all three of my kids and running away to Aruba. I scored a 71 on the check list from pndsa.co.
Has anyone else done this assesment? I am feeling really overwhelmed. Could it be the weaning? Ori s it a delayed post partum to the twins because of the ebf?

Help,
Julianne

[toepea]

I haven't done the assessment, but know the feeling. Give yourself a break. The one thing that I have always done whenever I have felt completely over the edge is to just stop and play with my children, really! Forget about what you want to do, what you have to do, and just be with them and play with them and love them. It works every time for me.

I weaned, if you want to call it that, my twins very slowly.........very, very slowly, and so I am not sure that I can help you with the weaning. But basically what I did, over serveral months, after I had got to the point of only nursing them to sleep and then through the night, is to eliminate one 'time' at a time. Once they got used to it I would still wait awhile (weeks) and then eliminate another one. Does that make sense? They comforted themselves by patting my breast instead of nursing and to this day still love to touch, pat, feel, rub my breasts, especially during times of stress. I am actually trying to 'wean' them of that habit now, which is about a year later since they have last nursed.

Hang in there and do what is best for you and your babies. You can do this. Altho, I have considered heading for the Bahama's more times than I can count!

[Cakes]

torpea,
Thanks for your feed back. Interestingly enough the twins still enjoy playing, massagiging my breast. They don't really try to nurse but really like the comfort of knowing it is there. We've really tried to wean slowly. We are down to twice a day. First thing in the AM and after nap time. My daughter seems to need the nursings more then my son.
The thing that scares me the most is that i don't want to stop and play I just want to sit on the couch and sleep/doze. The effort to play is overwhelming. This is not like me at all!!!!!!! I prefer to pop in a video then to have a dance party. Who is this person? I am so saddened by the change in attitude.
Thanks for your response, it meant alot to know that someone else gets "fondled" regularly.
Julianne

[toepea]

Hmmm, it sounds like it is NOT the weaning that is stressing you out........ what else is going on in your life that could have this effect on you??

Also, if you have been giving everything you've got for the last 23 months----which I am sure you have, a video is not the end of the world, and any other tactics that you may try to get some "ME" time. It's OK! You need to recharge yourself at some point.

[Amandzia]

You poor thing. I went through something similar but before the twins were a year old. It all came to a head when they were about 10 months old and I realized I shouldn't be so miserable. What helped for me was getting out or inviting over other mommy friends and taking a serious look at my eating habits. I found myself munching on sugary and other junky foods and not drinking enough water. I decided to make sure I took the time to feed myself good things, and often. Hunger makes me a bear, but junk food makes me depressed. I was so concerned with making everything perfect for everyone else, I lost track of me. When I started eating better, I felt better. I don't know if this advice would apply to you, but I thought I'd put it out there.
Amanda:bf

[Adele]

Twin burn-out

I totally have been where you are at. I ended up doing some counceling as I didn't know who I was either. I did test depressed and used herbals/vits and it helped. It takes so much energy to get those baby's bigger, nursing, nightwaking etc. etc. I ended up having to get me sometime without the kids to recharge. I was touched out, mentally drained etc. I had to correct my diet, sleep when they sleep--guard nap time at all costs from the outside world. We are just now weaned at 3.5 years of age, they pat the "noni" in stress times etc. We nightweaned earlier though, Sleep without Cry helped....I also went to the chriopractor and said I need help! My adrenals were shot, got a supplement for that....have done some massage and foot reflexology to reenergize also.

I had taken attachment parenting very literally and not given myself time--I am not talking about spa time, just reading, grocery or garage saleing without little ones etc.

I am better now, but I pray daily for guidance to my and family balance......

[babylovex2]

Julianne,
I can really relate. I am sloowwwly weaning my 2.5 yo twins, mostly because I just am starting to feel overburdened and annoyed every time they want to nurse. It is happening, slowly but surely... we're down to once every other day or so.

Anyway I totally agree that you need to have more ALONE time. I kept finding myself cleaning, organizing, shopping, just trying to stay on top of the chaos ~ but this was doing nothing for my spirit.

Now I try to take a yoga class, or read in a bookstore, or sit at a cafe and stare out the window ~ whatever you need to do to replenish yourself. I myself have nothing to give anybody if I am tapped out.

And believe me, I have wanted to put the girls in their cribs and drive away more times than I care to admit! But then one of them will give me a big hug, or say I yuh you, mommy! And I'm back in the saddle again.

Take care of yourself and your needs. Like they say, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Hang in there

[charmarty]

Yikes!This is the stuff nobody seems to warn us about!
I can totally relate to you though. You ahve too much going on right now.Can you maybe delay the weaning to an easier time when you can focus only on that? Cuz no doubt your babies are needing MORE of you cuz you are weaning. Weaning should be done ina relaxing atmosphere for the best interests of everybody involved.
My advice destress as much as possible, then wean.

And hang in there! Try to put yourselves in those litttle shoes and that should help you get more of a grip in those dark moments .It helped me anyways