It's so silly -- I am only 4 days past my due date, but I am really starting to feel discouraged. Although this is my third child, I had a C-section with my twins so this is really like a first birth for me. In my mind I know that I should expect to go longer than 40 weeks. I just can't help but feel my body is going to fail me again. This has a long history for me. I had asthma as a child and there was so much I couldn't do and always felt my body was defective. My sister is an athlete, so I always felt damaged by comparison. Then before the twins, we went through two years of infertility and it brought back up all those feeling about my body not working right. Now I can't help but worry that maybe my body can't birth babies right, either. I know it's not at all logical. The C-section was due to a transverse breech presentation in the presenting baby, not for anything I could blame myself for. (Not that I think C-section mamas should blame themselves at all.) I can calm myself down a bit by reminding myself that I've carried this baby and it's been totally normal, low-risk, healthy, etc. I did well with the twins, too. I can carry babies fine.
I am doing Hypnobabies and have been listening to affirmations and the birthing CD all day to try to get this worry out of my mind. I've done the fear release, too, but I have this nagging doubt that I feel like I have to work through somehow in order to get this baby out. I will be really devastated if I end up with a C-section. I so so so so want a natural birth.
These days after the due date are just so freaking long.
Anyway, if you've read this, thanks for listening.
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::goodv ibes: for all of us still PG.
How does Dolly Parton do this?
