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Dumping Debt and building wealth with Dave Ramsey JANUARY - Page 14

post #261 of 585
I'm new here, just having read TTMMO. I have had a cash flow/allocated payments sheet for months. Since dh got a job that pays weekly, I *had* to preplan every cent or we would come up short. We also have $1000 in the bank from selling old wedding gifts on ebay, so without knowing it, I got through BS#1. I also started an envelope budgeting system b/c using a debit card for groceries allowed me to go too much over.

We have $31,000 in consumer debt, $32,000 in my student loans, and god-knows-how-much in dh's student loans (they call all the time and he needs to consolidate or make a payment plan or something.) We rent from my dad so have no mortgage. Dh works a good job and I SAH and take nursing prerequisites very slowly.

I have a couple of questions:

How do I get dh on board? He has never done the finances and even thinking about money makes him crabby and panicky. I don't mind doing it all, b/c I quite frankly don't trust him to do it, nor does he know how to do it. But I *do* need his support and help to do the TMMO and don't know how to "sell" it to him. How can I get him as excited as I am? So far, I have brainstormed these "talking points" but need more of your experience to help me:

1. "Honey, you work so hard six days a week. Wouldn't it be nice to know that all your hard work was going to make our future better?" (But he could counter with, "I work hard and like to have nice things." Then what do I say?)

2. "Honey, we spend $1200/month servicing our debt. Imagine having that money back."

Any more ideas? Dh has a "need it now" mentality and will resist feeling constrained. I will be angry if I am taking all my pennies and putting them towards the debt snowball and he is still spending all his money on Starbucks and cigarettes. (We budget $40/week each for spending money that neither is accountable to the other for.) I can just cancel all the store cards (all the regular credit cards have been cut up for a long time) since they are mostly in my name, but I also need him to put his effort into the snowball. For example, he can do deliveries at work and get $50-150 cash in hand. I would gladly take that towards the snowball, but he might feel like he "deserves" something.

Second question: I was going to apply for nursing school to start this fall. It is at CC, so I would be able to pay cash for it, but would probably not be able to work much, if at all, during it. It takes two years. I already have a college degree, but just haven't worked a "real" job in a long time. Should I put the nursing school off and get a real job instead? I am conflicted, b/c the nursing program only will require 2 days/week for the first year, and this baby will be my last, so part of me wants to just enjoy the time with the new baby, but the other part of me desperately wants to contribute cash to our family.
post #262 of 585
Can I subscribe? I'm reserving the book at my library, but I'm open to all the help I can get!

Hubby lost his job in November, and we've been struggling since (I'm a SAHM, and if I work and pay daycare parttime (a necessity because of hubby's jobhunt), I'll only clear $1 an hour...so it's not worth it.

As soon as hubby gets another job, we need to dig out from this debt that we're WAY too far behind on right now!
post #263 of 585
I'm new to this thread and Dave Ramsey. But for the last month and a half I've been reading anything/everything financial planning/budgeting I can find.

In December I made a $1000 and then another $1200 payment to our Credit card. It's now $5700 owing. I also just made a $500 payment to my credit card (balance was $1000 at 0% until April). I have $200 saved also to go towards that card too - I have to pay it before April since the 0% jumps to like 23% or something nutty. I've been doing GPT sites, ExpoTV, and paid survey. I've been selling on Ebay & Craigslist to make the extra money.

In 2 weeks we're selling our home and living in a rental (will cost us 1/3 what we pay now) for the next 10/11 months until our new home is being built (we started the building process before we realized how much our finances needed to be in order first). So for the next 10/11 months we're focusing on paying the 2 credit cards down $500 and $5700, and then paying off the cars. This should only take half that time (or less since we are selling one of our homes this month and listing our other home for sale soon and will have a nice chunk of change from selling those), and the other half we're working on the savings stuff. DH just contributed a huge chunk to our Roth IRAs this month, and I just upped our 529 monthly deposits. Our savings account (EF) is at $3000.

We're not exactly doing Dave's method, since we need our credit to be at it's best by the time we close on our built home. But as soon as this crazy year is over, we'll be on track on his savings plan.
post #264 of 585

my update

Just wanted to add my update, more for myself and my accountability!

First of all, hubby and I decided we need to go to some sort of financial person who can look at our budget, tweak it, and hold both of us accountable each month, I think it would save tons of arguments, nick=picking,etc. Right now, we are looking at crownfinancial.org, they sent us the name of someone who does just that, and it's free. Anyone else know of someplace? We don't want the kind where they pay your bills for you or anything,just monthly accountability.

We are going to overspend on groceries a bit this month, but we were able to stock up at some great prices. : I am going to make it a point to go the the amish 'bump and dent' store, where things are at least 50% off. you have to watch expiration dates, opened containers, but most of it is just stuff that is overstock. Today, I got a bunch of gluten free stuff, and a great deal: 150.00, which probably would have cost over 350.00 because I bought alot of toothpaste, shampoos, etc.

So that's the good news this month, did I mention on this thread about angel food ministries? You can google it, it's set up through local churches, it's a food co=op, not a food pantry or anything. Some of the food can be a bit "junky', but they also have specials, great deals on meat, over 1/2 off for them.

The bad news is our medical bills continue to kill us. I am going to be forced to pull out the credit card (the only one with money left) to pay for my medical expenses this month. I can totally see why people file bankruptcy when they have alot of medical bills. I will have over 200 in prescriptions alone, 850 in premium, 15 co-pays for probably 8 doctors,and the real killer: I need to go to long island to have tests run for chiari I formation (newly diagnosed), then see the doctors. My insurance only pays some and the doctors want the money upfront=1000.00. Plus we owe about $2000 from the last two months. My blood work came back today and isn't looking great, looks like my tumor is shutting down not only my thyroid and adrenals, but now my sex hormones are non-existant, my b/p is getting higher and higher, so I need to go see a doc soon.

And did I mention the stomach virus everyone has? The stupid school tells me if they miss 3 days, I have to have a doctors note. So that's another 15.00 per kid, what a waste, going to the doctors to tell me my kid is throwing up, yeah, got it, I'm a nurse!!! called the school today and asked how many unexcused absences we can have per child and told her to expect them!

So there's my update this week, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We looked around this weekend at houses for rent in our area to see if we could rent ours out and rent something cheaper to save money, but we wouldn't get near enough in rent, there's so many empty houses, rent prices are coming down. So we're stuck with our 3000 in housing every month. If we could rent, it would only be about 1000.

Better day tomorrow...
post #265 of 585
We are doing really well using cash!! Even dh! I am very excited that he is on board with cash, usually his hand is sewn to that darn debit card!
post #266 of 585
Shane, thanks for doing the roll call!
post #267 of 585
Hey all--mind if I jump in? This is our first month following the Dave plan and I'm really excited about it! I make decent money and I hate seeing so much of it go out the door for debt payment.

We've demonstrated that we can pay off debt in the past--with two incomes, we paid off my car, a double-digit home equity loan, sizeable credit card bills, and saved almost enough money for me to take six months unpaid maternity leave when babe was born. I'm back at work now, but we've added a little back to the credit card getting "caught up." (Hence the almost in the above sentence.)

Dh is a SAHD now, so we're going to have to live on the perfectly adequate income that I bring home and use it to pay off the old 401k loan, DH's car, and the adoption that we paid for (with our newly freed up HELOC. ) I figure we can get everything but the house taken care of by the end of 2008 if we do it right. We're just used to having two incomes to squander instead of one.

We have our emergency fund and some big extra checks coming the first part of this year, including a very large tax return (from an adoption tax credit, not from overwithholding) so we can get some stuff hammered out.

We have our budget lined up, our cash envelope system ready, our sinking funds established for things like insurance and taxes, and we're ready to go!

The only non-Dave thing we're doing is using some of this extra cash this month to get on a "month ahead" budgeting system. Ie, January's income will pay February's bills. February's income pays March's bills, etc. (Ie, everything I make in February will go into the bank and anything over the $1000 EF gets counted as income for the next month's budget sheet.) That way we can fund all the envelopes at once and plunk down the extra payments right away. It will take the guess work out of my slightly irregular income.

Can't wait to start making those big payments!
post #268 of 585
Ok I need some help .... I need to know what to do ...

We got some money yesterday and Iam about to pay off the IRS 755.00 then we need to finish paying off verizon 200.00 now I have some money left to put on our lowest debt CC but my question is we no longer have cell phones (we are paying off the cancelation fee ) and my AAA just expired and I have 4 kids . So I renew our AAA or send that 64.00 to the CC ??

Basically is AAA a need or not ? BTW I Do have a Virgin mobel phone for TRUE Emergencys I get 20.00 card for it every 3 monthes . So is this a need or a want ? I want to make the right choice befor I start paying things .

Thanks
post #269 of 585
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea View Post
I'm new here,

We have $31,000 in consumer debt, $32,000 in my student loans, and god-knows-how-much in dh's student loans

I have a couple of questions:

How do I get dh on board?

1. "Honey, you work so hard six days a week. Wouldn't it be nice to know that all your hard work was going to make our future better?" (But he could counter with, "I work hard and like to have nice things." Then what do I say?)

I can just cancel all the store cards (all the regular credit cards have been cut up for a long time) since they are mostly in my name, but I also need him to put his effort into the snowball. For example, he can do deliveries at work and get $50-150 cash in hand. I would gladly take that towards the snowball, but he might feel like he "deserves" something.

Second question: I was going to apply for nursing school to start this fall. It is at CC, so I would be able to pay cash for it, but would probably not be able to work much, if at all, during it. It takes two years.
WELCOME! This is a wonderful adventure but not an easy one. So worth it!

OK, you dh is acting like a boy and not the man you need in your house. The 'I want' syndrome is not mature and is not a man supporting his wife and child! Cancel the plastic and cut up the cards. If you are ready to budge then start that, remember it takes a few months to get one that works. After you draft the monthly budget let his look at it and have his change things. It still have to zero out. Having his change a few things make him part of the plan. He will propably not change overnight but keeping him involved will help his see the plan. Keep your enthusiasium going and don't mentioned the negative a lot. I like your suggestions of positive future to tell him how it could be. He only looks at the now though.

Your second question regarding nursing school. If I were you, and that is how I answer questions, I would not go. You have a massive amount of debt. How would you pay off debt while cash flowing school? Get intense on the debt and you'll be in school in a few years with security.

Be well,
post #270 of 585
Hello everyone. I am frustrated because I had to spend $60 on medication because both my ears and my throat are all infected I can replace the money in my EF on Friday, but I am still sad that I had to take out money for that. I know, I know, that is what the EF is for.

I wonder if anyone can give me advice on what to do next. I have chronic ear infections and I am pretty much at my wits end with regular doctors and their ongoing antibiotics pushing. I am considering trying a chiropractor for relief, but it is not covered by my insurance. Is it worth it to budget for a treatment that might help while still in debt? Or should I just suck it up and hold off until our debt is paid?

I am so confused. I think I would think more clearly if I didn't feel so crappy today.
post #271 of 585
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggi315 View Post
Just wanted to add my update, more for myself and my accountability!
Better day tomorrow...

Thanks for the update, Barb!

You mention using the credit card. How much is in your emergency fund? It also sounds like in your budge medical should be up there.

Your kids go to school? Your sig says homeschool. Did you have to put them in school recently?

I hope you don't have to use the credit card.

Be well,
post #272 of 585
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumkenna&lucas View Post
We are doing really well using cash!! Even dh! I am very excited that he is on board with cash, usually his hand is sewn to that darn debit card!
That is so funny. I can remember two years ago when we did everything on plastic for 'the points!' Cash is king and I'm loving it!

Be well,
post #273 of 585
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2dea View Post
Ok I need some help .... I need to know what to do ...
So I renew our AAA or send that 64.00 to the CC ??

Thanks
AAA is not a 'need'. Your emergency fund is there to cover those needs. I'd put the money to the debt.

Be well,
post #274 of 585
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*Jaime View Post
Hello everyone. I am frustrated because I had to spend $60 on medication because both my ears and my throat are all infected I can replace the money in my EF on Friday, but I am still sad that I had to take out money for that. I know, I know, that is what the EF is for.

I wonder if anyone can give me advice on what to do next. I have chronic ear infections and I am pretty much at my wits end with regular doctors and their ongoing antibiotics pushing. I am considering trying a chiropractor for relief, but it is not covered by my insurance. Is it worth it to budget for a treatment that might help while still in debt? Or should I just suck it up and hold off until our debt is paid?

I am so confused. I think I would think more clearly if I didn't feel so crappy today.
Hi Jamie! Missed you

Wasn't it great to pay cash for your medication and not have to put it on credit! Yea for the emergency fund!

Yes, chiro will most likely help with your ear issue. Yes, you should put it into your budget and save up for the care. I'm currently doing the same and the one that I want to go to is going to cost me over $1300 for three months of care! The trip with chiro care is that in the beginning you go very often (a few times a week in my case) and then the visits space out till we get to preventative. I have back issues. So, I'm living with the pain and doing stretches and trying to exercise (broke my ankle a month ago so no much lately).

Start the research for a chiro you like and informs and educates you. There are many and not are all alike.

Be well,
post #275 of 585
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanetedissac View Post
AAA is not a 'need'. Your emergency fund is there to cover those needs. I'd put the money to the debt.

Be well,

Thank you I needed to hear this !!!
post #276 of 585
chiro might help the ears, but you might want to try eliminating dairy from your diet for a few weeks and see if that helps. you may be intolerant - we can have raw cow dairy, goat, sheep....it cleared up a lot of issues. cheaper than chiro, by the sounds of it!

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post #277 of 585
i'm in the same expensive city as piglet *wave* and it is a struggle to live on one income...but i am very excited to have a new contract to do some web stuff from home, in bits and pieces - working for my sister ! it isn't very much money, but every bit helps and i'm astonished at how it is adding up already.

we're doing better now that we've found a different way to track money, it makes more sense to us.

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post #278 of 585

I guess I'm done here



Dh won't listen to these ideas and he just hung up on me. I opened up a cc with 0% interest a few months ago, so he is telling me to use the card until it is maxed out instead of using cash for household things. That is the reason we are in this mess. I guess I can't follow this plan anymore and now dh is mad at me. We are so not on the same page as far as finances go. He wants me to transfer a high interest rate card to this 0% card and use the rest for bills and food/gas etc. He said he wants me to use the cash to pay down another high interest card, and I can do my ef savings thing when we get our income taxes in feb or march.
post #279 of 585
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ILoveMyBabyBird View Post


Dh won't listen to these ideas and he just hung up on me. I opened up a cc with 0% interest a few months ago, so he is telling me to use the card until it is maxed out instead of using cash for household things. That is the reason we are in this mess. I guess I can't follow this plan anymore and now dh is mad at me. We are so not on the same page as far as finances go. He wants me to transfer a high interest rate card to this 0% card and use the rest for bills and food/gas etc. He said he wants me to use the cash to pay down another high interest card, and I can do my ef savings thing when we get our income taxes in feb or march.
This is a very sad situation. I'm sorry that your dh is so willing to destroy your financial future. He is thinking he can win by the numbers and that does not work. Has it worked for you yet? Ask him this! Couples counseling would be a good thing for the two of you. There sound like much more than money issues here just the symptome. (sp?)

Hope he grows up soon for your family.
post #280 of 585
bird, that sounds really upsetting and frustrating. you want to be together on this, it sounds to me.

sometimes people dig deeper into their position when they don't feel heard. perhaps instead of trying to persuade him, you could set that aside for a minute and just say, so i've been bringing some ideas for how we could make our finances work better, and you seem like you're uncomfortable with them. then let him talk, and now and then stop him to tell him what you understand him to say... check if you're right...don't try to make an argument. he needs to be heard before he shifts his position. another time you could bring up something specific to what you'd like to do, and see if he needs to express anxiety or other things about it...let him know you'd like him to hear you...LATER. you could do therapy to do this, certainly, therapy is good...but you can help him by listening, reflecting what he is communicating, first. i'm like an animal in a corner when i don't feel heard, and i really do better with people when i stop trying to persuade them until we are connected. oh, oops! i'll stop!

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