"No. I am just reluctant to toe the oft-repeated MDC party line that imposing reasonable, age-appropriate limits on a child, saying "no" and meaning it, or teaching one's child to have a reasonable degree of respect for other people is being a fascist."
I am not apposed to limitations. I just think we go about 'imposing' them in different ways.
"For the most part, children will behave in the way they are raised by their parents, their most immediate "society."
I agree. This is where modeling behavior comes in. And by society, I ment her emediate 'pack' wich would be the family. I just don't agree with 'raising' her. I guide her in her path threw life. I offer my wisdome, my experiences, my help, and intervine if absolutely necessary. But it usually isn't.
"Others who are more educated in this area than I can confirm or deny, but it is my understanding that wolves constantly reinforce (among other things) appropriate wolf behavior in the pack hierarchy. Should a growing wolf act in a way that is inappropriate for its pack position, it gets nipped -- or worse. Ultimately, the wolf learns to follow the rules of its society or it gets excluded -- or worse."
From what I understand any animal within a pack will naturally model bahavior. It is not taught. Punishment, or consequence for bad behavior is diffrent than teaching good behavior. I do not let my child "run wild". There are guidelines, and those are mostly common sense among bothe her and I.
"This is nothing but the truth, whether legally, physically, or ethically. Children are not
wholly in control of themselves, nor should they be. As children grow and mature, they can and should be given more control and more choices appropriate to their age and developing judgment, but for the most part (and especially when very young), they are not experienced personally nor vicariously enough to make all judgments for themselves. This is where the job -- as one other poster aptly put it -- of a parent comes in: to guide, to teach, or to (metaphorically, not physically) "nip" inappropriate, dangerous, or impolite behavior in the bud rather than allowing bad behavior in the name of freedom or respect. While one person may be celebrating her child's decision to run around Costco without regard for others' safety or his own as an example of untrammeled freedom and unspoiled nature, others among us are wishing less-than-generous thoughts upon that child and his or her parents -- or seeing a lawsuit waiting to happen. Genuine discipline (in the sense of teaching) is more than a job, though -- it is an obligation, a responsibility, and for most of us (I would hope), a pleasure."
Fist of all, I don't condone bad behavior. I don't see where anyone would think that from reading my posts. What I said was that there maybe wouldn't be as much bad behavior if we had a little more trust in our childrens ability to make the right choices. I do believe that children should be in controll of themselves. At any age. I feel like I am being missunderstood. I don't agree with the parents who let their child put others in danger, I would never do that. As far as others possibly wishing 'less-then-generous' thoughts about my DD.
As long as she's not hurting anyone, I'd say too bad I guess.
"On this, we certainly agree."
Good to know we agree on something
Gotta love the debate thought, I love talking about this subject, very interesting to me. On a side note, just curious if anyone here has read The Continuum Consept.