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Suicide - Page 3

post #41 of 89
1/1/08 at 2:56am
I am sorry for your loss.

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post #42 of 89
1/1/08 at 3:34am
post #43 of 89
1/1/08 at 4:14am
for your husband. I hope he's at peace now.

and

for you as you deal with this most difficult time. I'm so sorry mama, for you and your beautiful son.
post #44 of 89
1/1/08 at 4:17am
I'm so sorry, mama.
post #45 of 89
1/1/08 at 11:39am
I am so sorry
post #46 of 89
1/1/08 at 12:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2crazykids View Post
You probably have not begun to get out from the shock of it all. But when the feelings do come, get them all out and let those who care help.
I agree with the above. I am so sorry for you and your baby and for everyone who is being hurt by this loss.

I lost my 15 year old brother to suicide on Thanksgiving 1993. There were a few months of going through the motions, where everything seems hazy. I can't remember all of it. Then the intense grief and anger that this could happen. The wondering why God allowed him to feel so much pain. The heartbreak of seeing how suicide can devastate a family. Then the intense fear of losing other people. Slowly, it got better. It really does get better with time. I suppose that's the acceptance part of the grief process.

Allow yourself to fully experience every stage of grief that you go through. If you fight it, it will just prolong that stage. You will survive this because you have to. Your baby needs you now more than ever.

Know that many suicide survivors go through a period of anger directed at the one who died. Anger at being left behind, or anger because suicide is selfish. But unless it was a revenge suicide intended to hurt someone else, it's about being in so much pain emotionally and feeling so little hope that it is intolerable. People who have never been suicidal can't comprehend that. It's as if that little spark of "I can survive anything and want to live no matter what" doesn't exist in people who commit suicide. Sometimes it's an impulsive thing, which is the most heartbreaking of all.

Do you have a good support system?

I'm wishing you peace and comfort and strength.
post #47 of 89
1/1/08 at 12:16pm
I had a friend when I was 16 who shot himself. I still don't understand it, and I'm 22. It's still really freaking hard. Every year on Feb 10th and 14th (the day of his funeral) I get upset.


:

I think the only thing that has helped me was compiling his pictures and art he did (I got copies of them) and his obit in a simple little book to periodically page through, but not something I did often as to not throw myself in a huge depression. And on his anniversary of his death I always make a post to my LJ/MySpace/what have you telling him how much I miss him and how I think about him a lot and what a great person he was, and that I'm sorry there was nothing I could do to help alleviate some of the hurt and pain he felt.
post #48 of 89
1/1/08 at 1:02pm
I am so sorry, mama.

Hold onto that little boy of yours. I pray that you find the comfort and support you need.
post #49 of 89
1/1/08 at 5:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
My husband took his own life two days ago. And I'm really not sure what to do with this at all. I'm stuck somewhere in a loop of "it's not possible. how could he do this to me? it's not possible. how could he do this to our son?"

It's (obviously) recent enough that I don't want to get into any of the painful details publicly. But I suppose I'm just hoping to hear from either those who have lost spouses in general, or those who have lost people close to them to suicide. What helped you grieve in a healthy way the most?
I cried. A lot. Talked to my therapist. Read about my aunt on her website. Her friends kept updating it. Talked to her husband. Talked to my mom, my other aunts. I couldn't talk to my grandparents for months. She's been gone 5 mos now.

I am so so sorry.
post #50 of 89
1/1/08 at 5:44pm
I am so very sorry for you and your little one ... I wish you peace.
post #51 of 89
1/1/08 at 6:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by boobybunny View Post
Suicide is a desperate measure.... we all know that. First of all, please know that your partner did not think of what he was doing to you, only of ending his pain. People who commit suicide really are not in their right minds... with maybe the exception of terminally ill people choosing to end on their time line. Please know that it does not mean he loved you or your child any less. It simply means that he was in so much pain, he did not believe he could continue.

How are you? Are you financially able to get through now? Can you still parent your child? Do you need someone to help you? If so, please do what your partner did not, ask for help.

I am sorry this has happened to you... please do not spend the rest of your life (light) walking on egg shells wondering if something you said, or did not say caused this. In reality, there was nothing you could have done to stop him.

Hugs.... take care of you right now.
Exactly THAT. A very dear friend of mine took his life almost 10yrs ago and all I could think was how COULD he do that to his little ones!?! It took me time to come to a place where I could accept that he just saw no other option.. And I have been a lifelong sufferer of depression... Some pains are just too deep to share and too much to bear. I wish you & your little one peace
post #52 of 89
1/1/08 at 9:02pm
I'm so sorry. So very sorry.

I understand wanting to talk to others who have lost a spouse to suicide. When my son died in September, I wanted to talk to other people on MDC who had lost a child around his age. This forum isn't as visited as some forums, so just be aware that it may take time for other MDC mamas with a loss like yours to find you here. It takes some time, but eventually you'll find others who know where you're coming from. In the meantime, there are lots of us who will offer hugs and all the support we can.
post #53 of 89
1/1/08 at 9:48pm


I'm so sorry
post #54 of 89
1/1/08 at 9:58pm


as a widow I have found this message board www.beyondindigo.com of great support to me personally. also try I know there are others who have dealt with suicide there too so maybe that is an option for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this
post #55 of 89
1/2/08 at 1:57am
I am so sorry. I have no advice, but wanted you to know I am thinking of you.
post #56 of 89
1/2/08 at 2:25am

I couldn't read this and not post. I'm so very sorry Mama. I wish I had some words to help but I don't. You and your little one will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm just so sorry.

post #57 of 89
1/2/08 at 2:53am
I'm so sorry.
post #58 of 89
1/2/08 at 9:42am
Oh

:
I can't even comprehend the sheer magintude of the number of emotions that you are going to experience.
You'll be in my thoughts.

post #59 of 89
1/2/08 at 10:04am
I don't know what to say, only that I am thinking of you, and feel absolutely terrible about the loss you and your son are going through.
post #60 of 89
1/2/08 at 10:22am
Im so sorry! My mother commited suicide when I was a child (6 or 7) I also lost a close friend to the same thing =( You can pm me if you want. Just remember that you will begin to heal over time, and that he wasn't trying to hurt you.

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Sitting or Squatting: What's Really Best in the Bathroom?
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
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