Why take breastfeeding so personally? - Page 2

[imatulip]

I know I always feel like somehow these woman were let down by our society. I know I wasnt' as educated on BF when I had my first as when I had my 2nd, and I wish all moms could get the education and support to give nursing a fighting chance. I just don't think our society supports that, and that makes me sad.

[APmomto3boys]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

Those are always the worst stories for me to hear. Not only is a child not getting their birthright of breastmilk but there's a mother out there who is just horribly uneducated and misinformed about a basic function of the human body. Sometimes I often feel worse for those mothers and curse whatever influences brought them to their decision that breastfeeding is "gross". Very sad.

When I asked her at her baby shower, she said "why would I? I get formula free on WIC." ugh. I shared a few things but obviously nothing good enough to sway her. She told me that shes knows that bf'ing is better for them. Since then she has made many gross comments to me. The baby just came out of your vagina, what is so gross about putting it on your breast?? der.

[Laura S]

Funny I read this post today. I have been sad about a conversation I had with my dh's step-mother over Christmas. She informed me that her daughter is now dating "the one". She knows she wants 4 children (he says, let's try 3 and see...) and she also has informed him that she will not be bf'ing. She is 22, not even pregnant yet, how can she make that decision now? Well, I guess I know why... her mother did not bf and her mother before that and they were all "fine". I am kicking myself now for not saying more. She knows how I feel about bf'ing. I had a terrible time with my dd. I spent more time in the lactation clinic and in tears than not those first 5 months, but I stuck through it because I knew how important it was. My second time around with ds is 100 times easier. Anyway, back to my point. I wish I would have said more. Where was my intelligent comment? All I said was "not even the colustrum?" because I was just in shock that she can make this statement when she is probably a few years away from even becoming pregnant. My step-mother-in-law started talking about the importance of letting people do what they choose (which is right) but then added if you asked her about it she would tell you the cons of bf'ing and that ff'ing was great because her dd's father was able to feed the baby and bond. Well pump milk then! I asked my dh what he thought about that and he said I bond with my children just by being with them, I don't need to give them a bottle in order to bond. Well, I'm rambing I guess, not too good at posting either, sorry. My husband and I were not bf and we are "fine" but I know in my heart we could be so much better even if it were just in subtle ways. I have had different doctors/dentists over my lifetime ask if I was bf. Like when I had knee surgery for example. He said sometimes babies that were not bf have weaker knees prone to injury...Anyway, just venting. I feel a bit heartbroken when I think about it but reading the other posts makes me feel better knowing that I am not alone.

[katiedidbug]

Originally Posted by APmomto3boys

We just had a new birth in our family is she is being 100% ff.... because bf'ing is gross. lol says, her mom.

It bothers me so bad that I get knots in my stomach and have a hard time seeing the baby.

I understand. I get those same knots in my stomach whenever I see a bottle full of formula ... or one waiting in the diaper bag. For me, breastfeeding is just such a big deal, how could I not care?

[milosmomma]

When I went to visit a friend and her newborn 2 years ago and I asked whether she was was nursing, she very self-righteously told me that she wasn't because when she went back to work (2, maybe 3, months later) she would have to pump 8-12 times a day and that would just be impossible. Now, she was INFORMING me of this after I'd been working full-time, breast-feeding and pumping (once per shift, thanks) for almost a year. If fact, I think I was nursing DD while we were having the conversation. To quote APmomto3boys, I just wanted to smack the mom with a boob.


BTW, 2 years later we're both pregnant and due around the same time. This should be interesting.

[princessgrace]

Originally Posted by APmomto3boys

We just had a new birth in our family is she is being 100% ff.... because bf'ing is gross. lol says, her mom.

It bothers me so bad that I get knots in my stomach and have a hard time seeing the baby.

I think formula is kinda gross and I have a hard time keeping that opinion in! But imagine the response IRL if I said that....but its ok to say that BFing is gross apparently ugh.

[MilkTrance]

Originally Posted by Lunaria

As pp said I think it has a lot to do with wanting such a new vulnerable little person to have all the benefits we know to be associated with breastfeeding. I am not a very judgemental person, but I find when it comes to lactivism I have a really hard time. I know most of the time I don't know a woman's whole story when she ffeeds, but I find myself feeling sorry for the baby and just wanting to give the babe a good mouthful of breast!

Jenny

This is how I feel as well.

[painefaria]

I understand the frustration... DP's cousin and his wife had a little one that is now 15 months old. The poor little guy has so many digestive problems; constepation, low weight, poor weight gain, and the problems go on. I just want to say "If you want I would pump and freeze and bring it to you in Massachusetts (we live in PA) once a month". I think that they would be freaked out by this.

[Da WIC Lady]

Originally Posted by Lunaria

I know most of the time I don't know a woman's whole story when she ffeeds, but I find myself feeling sorry for the baby and just wanting to give the babe a good mouthful of breast!

Jenny

You have no idea how many times I've wanted to line them up at my taps at work... Nothing makes me want to cry more than hearing that special "I'm hungry" wail from a new baby when they're having a bottle of formula shoved in their mouth by a too distracted mom. So, I'll admit part of that is from let down, but that doesn't mean I don't want to feed them anyway.

Anna

[formerluddite]

Originally Posted by KittyKat

...
Recently a mom at my church had to FF her baby because it was discovered a few days PP that she had a dangerous blood clot, and she had to go on blood thinners for several months. Her porr little guy was a terrific nurser, and has been struggling with some allergies on the formula, but formula absolutely was the best thing under the situation available to them. It still sucks that his mom didn't get to breastfeed him like she planned to and wanted to.
...

my heart sank when i read this, with the same sadness the OP brought up for babies who aren't breastfed. so many mamas are steered to weaning unnecessarily by doctors who don't value breastfeeding, and only look at the PDR (physicians desk reference) when prescribing. the PDR is a trade book, and generally discourages breastfeeding (labels drugs as dangerous) for fear of lawsuits. after all, no one ever sues pharmaceutical companies for the adverse health effects on a baby of withheld breastmilk.

i've even heard of mamas needing an antibiotic told to wean because the doctor ordered drugs like amoxacillin (generally safe), then a week later the pediatrician orders the SAME drug for the baby.

so i thought you might want to pass on to your friend some info from Tom Hale's website. he is the author of "medications and mothers' milk,"
http://www.ibreastfeeding.com/catalo...&products_id=1
which lists most available drugs, and tells whether and how much they pass into breastmilk.

this page has threads with info on anticoagulants:
http://66.230.33.248/discus/messages...tml?1199718692

this page:
http://66.230.33.248/discus/messages...tml?1199718692

states

The older heparin-like products, and the warfarin products are quite safe...

(warfarin is the generic name for coumadin).

it's possible that your friend was taking another drug that was incompatible (several are) and really did need to wean, but just in case it WAS a drug that was safe, she should know for future reference, in case the same clotting problem comes up when she has another baby. or she might be able to better discuss with her doctor the choices available, in case this time the drug taken was one incompatible with nursing, but next time she could take coumadin. and if she's VERY motivated, and it hasn't been too long, she might be able to get baby back to the breast.

i'm beginning to think i should get a stack of Medications and Mothers' Milk to give as baby shower presents.

[miche28]

Originally Posted by APmomto3boys

just want to smack the momma with a boob....

I know the feeling - it feels personal because it is personal, but I try to just remember that we meet mamas where they are. BF for 2 weeks and gave up because it was tying you down? Great! 2 weeks more than baby might have gotten. (It takes practice).