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Women of Color #12 - Page 5

post #81 of 2776
Quote:
Originally Posted by Southern_Belle View Post
Not to jump into this thread and raise sand, but I do want to pose a question or two...As Moms and Moms-to-be, what is it you are seeking in a church or congregation that would keep you from attending? Or what is it that keeps you in an AA church, even when you are not 100% fulfilled.

Just curious. 'm really asking because I have to be in that mindset where it's not just about me, but about my family, and I'm still getting there. Perhaps you'll put forth some things I haven't given enough thought to.
Personally I would like to feel like I am spritually being fed, to feel like I am growing spirtually is really the key for me. Practically I want to feel it works with having a rambunctious 2.5 yo, in other words is it kid friendly. Also I want to feek welcomed not tolerated, that is something I have struggled with for the past 6 years in all the churches I have attended. I don't really care about whether or not its an AA church but I am sick and tired of being in the place where I have gone to the same church for over a year and despite trying to make connections, it doesn't happen. That deep sense I feel like I really am not wanted here , that I can no longer deal with and that is part of what is driving me as a born again Christian to consider a UU church.. at least the members there treat me like a human.

More later since I gotta get dd down for bed in a few.

Shay
post #82 of 2776
hi, lovelies.

uhm...

what does UU stand for??

*ducking tomatoes*
post #83 of 2776
Quote:
Originally Posted by oyinmama View Post
hi, lovelies.

uhm...

what does UU stand for??

*ducking tomatoes*
Hey woman. Long time no see on MDC. I hope you are well. UU stands for Unitarian Universalist church.
post #84 of 2776
thanks so much, purplegirl!

yeah i haven't been online so much lately; things have been hectic as heck around here!! our EDD is the 24th so we're in the home stretch, but it seems there's just more and more things to do - getting ready for the babe, as well as lots of life changes occurring - the closer we get to the end.

hanging in there...
post #85 of 2776
The reason I have thought to try a UU(also known as Universal Unitarian) is generally they are more tolerable of different cultures, religions and lifestyle preferences. I attended what I thought was a very nice Church once and one sunday service they started spewing about gay's and what they are doing to our "christian society", I left. My children were in attendance at that service and I won't have them taught hate of anyone. I believe everyone has a right to their own religion and lifestyle preference and it is not my place to shame them and I don't want my children taught it is their place either. I also need a place that's child friendly( nursery or youth ministry is great) and that doesn't last all midmorning to afternoon. I know that many churches have a strong stance against gays or other religions but I don't think it has to be "taught" or preached at a service. SO I guess I'm just looking for a place with my own views of to each their own and your way doesn't mean that you or I am wrong. A place that feels like we don't need to "save" everyone.
I also want to find a place that touches me. You ever been to that one good service and before you know it you were crying and not really know why but you just felt like your heart was touched? I miss that I want to find that place again. Maybe I'm asking for to much.
post #86 of 2776
Quote:
Originally Posted by oyinmama View Post
thanks so much, purplegirl!

yeah i haven't been online so much lately; things have been hectic as heck around here!! our EDD is the 24th so we're in the home stretch, but it seems there's just more and more things to do - getting ready for the babe, as well as lots of life changes occurring - the closer we get to the end.

hanging in there...
Good luck mama! I am excited for you. Please keep us posted and let us know when your little one arrives
post #87 of 2776
Thanks for the replies ladies!

I can honestly say I really enjoyed the UU service that I went to, but in a perfect world, I would definitely want to see more brown faces.

I thought it was interesting that at the service I went to, one of the things they mentioned was a goal over the next few years was to increase minority membership. I had a 2 fold reaction - one, I thought it was nice that they were not some insulated, either close-minded or completely unaware community, but two - I didn't want to turn into some poster child...but I loved the feel and "character" of the congregation...

We'll see what develops.

@ shayinme and jeca, good points. Feeling welcomed vs tolerated is crucial. And your sentiments on being "touched" in a service hit home.
post #88 of 2776

african american church

well, its a cultural base, idea. the gospel music, the "inside" jokes, seeing other AA families struggling and making it. Business connections. i like the idea of my kids seeing AA of all ages and walks of life who love God. It definitely affects their self esteem...when they can immulate the teenage boy/girl on the drill team or see the deacons at the men's breakfast. in new mexico we were in church ALL DAY and we complained constantly...now i miss it soo soo much.

Boy, no church is perfect but i would get my personal spiritual fulfillment elsewhere just to have that cultural foundation for my kids.
post #89 of 2776
Hello Sisterfriends,

The past month or so has been a particularly trying time for me and my whole family.
I have been away from the list for a while and I wanted to explain why.
In late February, we heard about the passing of two really great family friends on opposite US coasts. And I would like to share a little about each of them here.

Willie Allen was one of the "rocks of fatherhood" in my life.
He was(is) a true example of what it is to be a loving and caring father, grandfather, husband and friend. He was always there for his family and the larger community in Seattle. His community development plans, ideals and contacts are still being used all around the city by a new generation of civic activists some 40+ years after he started his life's work in the 60's.
He is being mourned by all who knew and love him. I personally will miss his sound wisdom, wonderful conversations, his great encouragement and his friendship for the rest of my life.
And even though he personally was not an unschooler, he encouraged
all of the people that he knew to bring the best that they had to
offer to the table in our community and to make it work for all of
us.
He was always encouraging me to follow my passions and he was one of
the people in my life that really respected the fact that one did not have to have a certain set of "paper credentials" to be an active participant in finding and implementing solutions in community life and in ones personal life.

Lisa Heyman on the other hand, was a radical unschooler.
She lived her whole life as a seeker/inspirer of JOY!
The light that she shared with all that she touched(and many of the "touched" never had the pleasure to meet her in person)is thing of beauty.
She gave so much to the unschooling community, particularly here in
the NE.
I always felt that I was one of the lucky ones to have had her as "real life sisterfriend", one that I could count on for support when I needed someone who would not let me doubt myself and/or our unschooling journey as a family.
She truly touched me in a way that few in my life have, always challenging me to go further, trust more, live fuller and to be present in all that my life has to offer.
But what I will miss the most about Lisa is the laughter. She just had a way of spreading the joy of life that was truly remarkable.
Even when we were discussing matters of a serious nature(she was very ill for some time before she died), she was always able to find a moment of joy, something that would bring a smile to your face during the conversation.
And because she was so joyful, strong and positive, we that were close to her did not see her death as a possibility any time soon.
So it was quite a shock to get the call the day she crossed over.
Her funeral was one that I think I will never forget. So many family and friends were gathered to share with her husband and daughters their love, sorrow and yes great joy in having known such a remarkable woman.
We are all still trying to be there for her husband and daughters as they try to continue their family's unschooling journey without Lisa's physical presence.
And I would really appreciate it if you would include all of them in your thoughts and prayers.

I am truly blessed that I knew both Willie and Lisa as good friends.
In these two friends passings, I have been once again reminded how
unpredictable and precious life is. And also how important it is to
live life to the fullest.
Thanks for reading my tribute to two great friends.

*..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Peace, Love & Light!-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*


Take Care,
Erika (I don't wear a fro, I'm just a sister who likes this smilie!):
post #90 of 2776
Hello Again,

This is to All of the New Members here:

!WELCOME TO THE TRIBE!

I hope to see many more posts from you!

Take Care,
Erika(I don't wear a fro, I'm just a sister who likes this smilie!):
post #91 of 2776
Just checking in after not being around. I don't think I would have found it without a subscription (maybe there's a new thread?). I'm bad about lurking around without posting, but I'm mostly in the Toddler and DDC sections of MDC.

How's everyone doing? I hope this thread becomes active again.
post #92 of 2776
Hi!

I just found you all and I have to go back and read some of the thread now but I just wanted to pop in. I have been spending my time in TTC and now in the Dec 2008 and Jan 2009 DDC (still figuring that out). Glad to meet you all soon!
post #93 of 2776

ok, I'll jump right in

I read a few of the older posts and thought I'd chime in

I was raised Catholic in New Orleans, which is still definitely a black church experience down there. Fast forward a decade and I am now a much more happily practicing Buddhist within the Soka Gakkai, a lay Nichiren Buddhist organization that I know you're familiar with. If you've seen What's Love Got to Do with It, then you know a little bit about my practice. I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo as my main practice and there's more to it, but we also do a lot of events together as an organization. When I first started practicing I was really happy when I realized that a lot of our smaller meetings are organized on the neighborhood level, so most of the people I practice with herein Brooklyn are other people of African descent from all over the place. Our organization is really diverse and I appreciated that so much when learning about a new spiritual practice and getting to know a whole new group of people. I also really like that there are activities just for kids and that a lot of focus is placed on youth. I am only just now expecting #1, but it's good to know there'll be something meaningful there for my kids.
post #94 of 2776
Hey everyone! Welcome to our new members
post #95 of 2776
Thanks purplegirl!
post #96 of 2776
hi all - just posting a happy birth announcement - i'm a mama!!

his name is osei fysher and me and the hubster are just swooning. he was two weeks old yesterday and is the most delicious little bundle.

birth story link cross-posted from my DDC: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=883150
post #97 of 2776
Welcome to our new members! Seems we have been quiet around here but hopefully we will pick up soon. I will try to post a little later, life is crazy right now with work and since I am self employed that means little demarcation between home & work.

Shay
post #98 of 2776
congrads Oyinmama (and hubby) on Osei Fysher!!!!
post #99 of 2776
Quote:
Originally Posted by oyinmama View Post
hi all - just posting a happy birth announcement - i'm a mama!!

his name is osei fysher and me and the hubster are just swooning. he was two weeks old yesterday and is the most delicious little bundle.

birth story link cross-posted from my DDC: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=883150
Congratulations Oyin! Many blessings to your family.
Again, welcome new members. It is always a good thing when we have new family in our tribe.
post #100 of 2776
*coming out of lurkdom*

Greetings everyone! I like to lurk in this thread because for one i hope to be a part of it someday, lol.

I just wanted to pipe in on the home church search discussion because hubby and I are currently going through this. Tomorrow morning, we are going to visit a church I found online in our area and im kind of apprehensive about it. We've been searching for a TRUE church HOME since we've married and haven't really found it (moving out of state twice didnt help tho )

I think, some of that has been that we've been lethargic in our search but in other ways its been the churches we've found.

We too have that eerie deep down feeling that we're not welcomed or something....its almost like we are encroaching (sp?) on a family reunion or something. You walk in, smile and look for a place to sit (being careful not to sit too close to the front or any good access spots as for fear of "taking someone's seat"), while possibley being greeted and/or smile or peered at by the church family already there. Usually, you are greeted pretty aggresively by the welcoming usher team because you are obviously new and they want to make sure they greet you, give you all the information welcome packets for the church, ask you a few questions about how you found them and to generally "feel you out" i guess.

Then after church, you usually get greeted again, maybe ushered into a welcoming room for all first time visitors to get more information, ask questions, get refreshments, etc. Or, you just kind of awkwardly smile at passerby church family as you leave.

Sigh, i dunno what hubby and i are looking for really. I guess we want that family feel. We want to be greeted and not accosted, lol. Welcomed but not grilled, introduced and not passed around for inspection, lol.

Above all, of course, we want to be spiritually fed. To us, anything after that is really our preferences, lol. I agree a lot with ajv that i would LOVE to be in a predominantly black church so that our future children can see all kinds of black folk loving God, but im not willing to compromise with fakeness and the psuedo-family feel.

I hope tomorrow goes smoothly, sigh.
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