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Happy New Year, November 05 moms! - Page 9

post #161 of 303
Yep, spending a day straight in transition is not my idea of a good time (you know, apart from the lack of dilation and trivial details). 4 weeks till 42, only 27 days left until day 42 of prodromal labour, I can do this. I just don't WANNA
post #162 of 303
it's been snowing all evening here in NC!!! I love snow!!!

helen- you won't have to do this labor dance for that long! you are well on your way. i didn't think of a birth plan in case of transfer; mainly b/c i don't like to let the thought of transfer even enter my mind really. i would do it, of course, if i had to go but it psyches me out to make a plan for it, KWIM? i do think a birth plan and newborn care plan, too is a good idea though.

hillary- i am the only one who noticed that you are lurking on the UC threads? you planning something soon? i have been skipping out on yoga recently, too and i need it now more than ever. let's go back soon, k? hope that you have work lined up soon and it's work that you would enjoy tremendously.

mel- ez naps once a day usually and if we promote a good setting for it, she'll nap every day. we get frustrated when we've been too busy to create space for her to fall asleep or she doesn't get enough run around time to get tired during the day. either way, it makes for grumpiness for all of us. i have needed way more naps this pregnancy though so that helps if we lay down together although with her weaning last nov, she doesn't fall asleep with me as easily anymore. but, yeah, i hear you on needing that down time!

two babes have been born from my feb ddc. one was a uc. woo hoo! helen is next...or maybe strawberry fields. either way, it'll be a fellow nov 05 mama.

sarah- if you feel so good right now, why go and mess things up by getting pregnant? ha ha, okay i am kinda just kidding. this pregnancy has just been rough on me and i feel tired and crappy more often than not. so diff than my nov 05 babe was and i just had no idea it could suck like this. talk about the birthing goddesses giving me empathy for my doula clients! funny that you all are getting spring and we're just getting our first semi-decent (but will probably melt by morning) snowfall. i got a bike seat for ez at the thrift store for $1 the other day but need to buy the rack to mount it still.

fern- hoping you are in labor, birth or baby bliss! i feel you and teresa on the money thing, too. we lived off savings to travel and volunteer last year. got back and DH is only working part-time (from home though!) since last month. since i am 34 weeks preggo, i am not running out to promote doula clients right now either. i am working as a mid-wife's assistant but right now that only counts (financially, at least) as a barter sort of thing for her to attend my birth. i would have worked for nothing but was excited that she suggested the barter idea. maybe she'll pay me one day? anyway, there are things i would love to buy for this babe coming and a few things fixed (like the hot tub to labor in it) but just cannot afford it. blah! so, teresa- when you do sell, please come be my neighbor! i know a great realtor whose 4 kids were born at home! his ad is him wearing his youngest in a sling even. thanks for thinking of my pup.
post #163 of 303
You'll laugh. Helen has been up at hospital since 3am with the asthmatic boy who trashed her last labour . I wouldn't mind so much, but his peak flow meter was broken- on theirs, he got readings of 120-130, well out of danger. On his, 75 There's a moral in there about trusting your instincts over technology, I'm sure, I'm just fed up. I'm still contemplating the UC, but part of me still has a weird feeling. It doesn't help that he (baby) is a very still young man anyhow- always has been. If he was beating the crap out of me on a daily basis, I'd probably be worrying less. Then again, if he's born early, like at 38 weeks, I'm going to spend the next years just waiting for the eczema and allergies to start and believing that history is going to repeat itself. I can't win

OK, vent over. Oh, crap and another : contraction. Just :
Gunter, Teresa, Fern, big hugs on the money thing and I hope it resolves itself swiftly, smoothly and very happily.
post #164 of 303
Aw Helen, that sucks!!!!!!!

Hope that your contractions abate long enough for you to get some rest.
post #165 of 303
Hah. They HAD totally stalled out again, and I was looking forward to another week off before the next nasty bout. Grrr. Bah. humbug.
Sorry for venting so much here, but I know you know the saga from last time :
post #166 of 303
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
Hah. They HAD totally stalled out again, and I was looking forward to another week off before the next nasty bout. Grrr. Bah. humbug.
Sorry for venting so much here, but I know you know the saga from last time :
Helen. Do you think someone is sneaking strange hormones into your tap water that cause both asthma attacks and prodromal labour? (And did you know that asthma can be triggered by hormone levels- it's an interesting tidbit that women's hospitalizations for asthma sharply increase premenstrually. I did the literature search to convince my MIL's doctor that premenstrual asthma exacerbations weren't her strange hysteria). The two seem to be terribly linked- I remember you almost having a hospital birth because of his asthma last time.... :

We're on a baking binge this morning. Cinnamon raisin bread on the go, and muffins in the line up.

And I've put myself on the ravelry list. Cursing all of you slightly, but I want access to all the free patterns I can find. Neela is a yarn shop enabler, and when I told her that socks were too hard for me and to put the pretty yarn back, she went to get help from a saleswoman who also sold me the how to knit socks pamphlet.
post #167 of 303

im starting to see the frustration in prelabor or whatever this is.. ive been contracting for a few days now with no baby yet. arg.
post #168 of 303
Mel, this was mainly our fault because the small boy who LOVES his singulair and took it regularly, asking for it, making sure his repeat prescriptions went into the doctors on time, everything, decided he didn't need it any more when I hit 38 weeks pregnant by LMP and just ignored it, and neither of us thought to remind him : because we assumed someone else had done it.

Fern you'll find your way out of prelabour soon enough. Just make sure you have some arnica on hand, because when "it" happens, it might be quite fast...
post #169 of 303
Fern and Helen, BIG s. You'll make it through, you always do

I am totally procrastinating at the moment... must go do laundry and continue the purge...

sarah- if you feel so good right now, why go and mess things up by getting pregnant?
You are so wise, Gunter.

I finally got my pilates DVD on Friday and this morning I even got time to play it and I feel faaaabulous now. I love post-pilates feeling, I've missed it so much but all the classes hereabouts are at like 6:30 in the evening which is just the worst possible time for me. But now I have my DVD, which is not the greatest but it's entirely sufficient for now. Oh, I didn't mention my tiff with my gym - I recommended the place to my downstairs neighbour, who got some money from her mom for Christmas to join a gym. I knew my gym had a free trial and everything so I told her to check it out, as I've been going there for 9 years and I like it and the equipment is great and it's really clean and well-run, blah de blah... then last week M. (the neighbour) e-mailed me in a massive panic because she decided not to go with my gym and notified them well within the 10-day trial limit and they claimed they never heard from her and were dinging her for the full year-long membership!!! Total classic rip-off, blaming one of their staff for not passing on the message but saying it's M.'s fault anyway. So I was hugely pissed, went in there and yelled at the manager for a while - right in front of a prospective customer - I made sure I talked plenty loud enough for her to hear, chewed the manager out for unethical business practises and being a jerk generally, and told her that I didn't care what her side of the story that she couldn't tell me was, if M. didn't get her money back I'd be cancelling MY membership, encouraging everyone else I know there to do the same, AND posting the story on every internet board I could find. The next morning M. got a call from them saying it was ok, they'd canceled the membership and it was all fine. So, yay, but I'm still pissed at them and I think I'm going to cancel my membership anyway because I've only been making it there twice a week when I'm lucky and I've been really good at working out at home, so I'm just going to put my creativity to work on my home workouts and continue with that.

Mel that's really interesting about the hormones and asthma. So much stuff is linked, hey? Tangential, but I'm reading that Gary Taubes book about fat, carbohydrates and heart disease right now and it is *fascinating*... especially how the scientific process can get derailed so easily not even by money but just by force of certain personalities and politicking and the human desire to not admit mistakes.

Ok, 'nuff procrastinating. Laundry calls...
post #170 of 303
Originally Posted by spughy View Post
I finally got my pilates DVD on Friday and this morning I even got time to play it and I feel faaaabulous now.
Yay! I love pilates too.

Fern and Helen: Hang in there. It can't be long now!

We had such a totally relaxing day today. We watched a marathon of "The Office" - thank you, Netflix!! - while Brynn took an extended nap (she's still not totally over being sick). Jason is feeling like he's now coming down with it, so he didn't have the energy to go run errands or find something to do. It was so nice to just slug around in our jammies (I just showered, at 5:00pm) and not feel like we were obligated to do anything else. We decided last weekend that at least one of Brynn's weekend naps would be time for us to have a "house date" (). So we snuggled on the couch and laughed and held hands. It was really nice! And I think we are really going to commit to two date nights per month, whether that means hiring a regular babysitter or taking up the older mamas (of highschool/college-age kids) across the street, who say they don't have anything else to do! I feel like we really need to start making more time for our marriage and do fun things together, even if it's just going to the movies. Does anyone else feel like their marriage is mostly just taking care of business and making sure we all stay alive? It's not healthy to be so serious all the time! :nana:
post #171 of 303
Oooh mama's who are so close. *hugs* to you. I do hope you have speedy and wonderful birthing experiences. I've stayed out of the conversations about birth because part of me is soo afraid to even think about birthing right now. Jacob's birth was so less than ideal and I have such amazing hopes and dreams for Leah's. For one...I'm praying that we don't have any NICU time. I can't even begin to say how hard that was. I am also praying for a 42 week pregnancy....Yes, I am insane. certifiably. BUT I would get 2 extra weeks of paid leave with a longer pregnancy...and after leave I'm going on unpaid for the rest of the year and DH is still in school. I also realize that a 42 week pregnancy doesn't insure I don't have NICU time but 34 weeks was scary...and in less than a week I'll be more pregnant than I have ever been before. That is exciting.

I was at L&D for several hours last night and was discharged again *yay* I went in because I am just NOT getting any better from this bronchial crud. The good news, Leah can't even tell I'm sick. The bad news, we have no clue how to make me better. I am now on antibiotics and an albuterol inhaler and I'm hoping they do the trick. I tried for nearly 3 weeks to find alternatives to the meds, but nothing is working.

I called my dad tonight with the very urgent *to me* prayer request that whatever this is it is DONE and GONE when I go into labor whenever that is. I can't imagine having a peaceful labor feeling as sick as I do right now. Anyone here who is the praying type if you could pray healing over me it would be greatly appreciated. I can't imagine laboring feeling like this.

Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post
Does anyone else feel like their marriage is mostly just taking care of business and making sure we all stay alive? It's not healthy to be so serious all the time! :nana:
We are still newlyweds so we are doing okay with this for the most part. It's about to get rough around our house though because Jacob just hit the age where I'm okay with leaving him for an extended period of time...That's why we are celebrating our anniversary a few months early and going out to a really nice dinner Thursday night and then to the theatre to see WICKED. I know that after Leah is born I won't be *okay* with that amount of time sans kids (or at least without Leah).

We try to have me stay awake past Jacob sleeping at least once a week and sit and cuddle on the couch...or in bed

We are at Panera for dinner tonight and DH and Jacob are running around the place giggling, laughing and playing. An older woman just came up and sat down beside me and said "I really have to tell you something. I've been watching your husband playing with your son and I am just *pause as the lady tears up* amazed at how beautiful it is to watch them. Your husband has been so encouraging and loving to your son and *chokes again* your son is so blessed to hear his father tell him how much he loves him. over and over again. My grandson is nine years old and I am pretty sure he has never heard his father ever tell him 'I love you.'" At this point the woman was openly crying and pregnant me was tearing up as well. I agreed with her that Jacob and I are truly blessed and gave her a hug.

I am feeling so blessed right now, in spite of being horribly ill.
post #172 of 303

Speedy? : : :
Love you guys. Fern, have a baby.
Amy, we're doing better with that one too- but then, we're pretty much still newly-weds (3 years of marriage, 6 years together on the 31st) and also, right now, we know how lucky we are to be alive, to have our families, and to have each other. Sometimes you need the serious times to make you appreciate the fun, y'know?
post #173 of 303
So what's the cut-off for being a newlywed? We've been together for six years, married for five and a half.

If I had one word for our marriage, it would be talking. Dh and I talk all the time. And because that's what we love to do--discuss, debate, chit-chat--we're doing it when he's cooking and I'm sweeping, when I'm bathing the boy and he's folding towels, when he's watching the Office and I'm knitting, etc.

Also it takes nothing for us to convince each other to drop our "obligations" if something really cool presents itself, so we end up spending a lot of time together doing fun, spontaneous stuff (though sometimes it causes a little friction down the road when the dishes pile up, there is no clean underwear on Monday morning, etc.).

Funny this topic should come up; dh's closest brother is getting a divorce, and we've been talking about that a lot lately--what makes two people compatible and what makes a marriage dissolve, reasons to stay together and reasons to split up, etc.
post #174 of 303
I'm counting years and just remembered that we're at almost 13 years together, married for 7 and change. Wow!

We go through stages of being busy and having less fun, but we're pretty good about dropping chores and work in the evenings or naptime to hang out sans toddler. Last spring DH had an evening class once a week, but I only worked that evening every second week, so on the alternating weeks we had the babysitter still come but later so we could go out after class. We didn't do anything scheduled in the fall, but we've hired her to come every second week for a regular date night this winter. So far, so good. I wish we had family closer for the occasional non-expensive date night, since paying for a sitter plus whatever we choose to do gets pricey!

We're working on the balance of fun family time together, fun time as a twosome, etc. Especially as Neela gets older I feel better about leaving her- I used to feel pretty guilty as a working mama last year that I was already away from her four evenings a week and how could I possibly miss one more. Now I know that we have great days together and that when my relationship is thriving I'm a better parent, so it's worth the extra time apart sometimes.

Kaspirant~ I hope you're feeling better soon!

Off to do my least favourite parenting job... convincing Neela to wear some clothes so we can go out. It's freezing here right now :
post #175 of 303
Originally Posted by HoneyTree View Post
we've been talking about that a lot lately--what makes two people compatible and what makes a marriage dissolve, reasons to stay together and reasons to split up, etc.
It is interesting, isn't it? I was married before, and so was Jason, and I can say honestly that he is my soul-mate and best friend, and I feel like we are "meant to be together." It was totally love at first sight, and during our 5 years together (3 1/2 married) I have never so much as thought about not being with him, or being with someone else. I definitely can't say that of my other serious adult relationships! We have a peace together that I've never had, so it's easy for me to notice other couples now who don't seem as well-matched. Ya know?

We do talk a lot too; every Saturday we have "Saturday Morning Maintenance" where we talk about any issues from the previous week, and then say all that we appreciate about each other. We've been doing that since before we got married, and it is something that has created so much trust and harmony in our marriage.

I guess one of the issues we face is that evenings are hard because we are both morning people and by about 7:00pm, I am just wiped out and so is he. And it sucks because he usually doesn't get home til 6:00 or 6:30, so we have dinner at 6:30, and then Brynn's bedtime routine from 7:00 to 8:00, and then we kind of collapse into bed around 8:30 and maybe read if we're not too tired. I feel like the majority of our time together during the week is when we're exhausted and aren't feeling silly or connected. So that sucks. I think if I had more self-time during the week, I would probably feel more energetic in the evening, so that's something I'm trying to work on too.

On the weekends, it just feels like we are trying to cram in as much as possible: errands, family fun time, alone time, marriage time, and general business of taking care of house and home. I think if we had three-day weekends, we'd be able to get it all done!

We were talking last weekend about how much more challenging it is to raise a child without family close-by. How many of you live near your families (or have close friends who help as much as family would)? How much help do you feel you get from family? I honestly think that if we lived closer to family who could provide some help just in terms of watching Brynn on a regular basis, we'd seriously be considering having another baby. I have been noticing which families seem less harried, and almost all of them live near family, or I guess can afford regular childcare in some way. Sometimes I wish we had just said to hell with and had moved to Austin when Jason was job-searching, but we didn't - so we are here for the time being and just have to make the best of it.
post #176 of 303
I see what you mean, Amy--at the end of a busy day, when you're already tired, and sometimes cranky, is definitely not the best time for connecting with your partner. I'm kind of an immediate-needs person; it's really tough for me to "wait until the time is right" to talk about anything that's bothering me. It's like I don't have the place inside to hold something or push something down into. So in the evenings, when I'm kind of reviewing the day in my mind, I often bring up the grievances or worries of the day. That does indeed make things feel awfully heavy and serious.

And I'd vote for the four-day workweek in a second! I notice a huge difference in the energy and attitude of myself and the students when we've had that break.

We don't have family nearby, either. And I don't think we've ever once left Woody with someone! : I feel like I have a pretty good network here, but for some reason that's not one of the things I have yet been able to rely on friends for. I think you're right, though, that having family nearby to step in before things get overwhelming seems to be a key ingredient to mama sanity.
post #177 of 303
We pretty much have a four-day workweek- Steve and the boys both finish at 1pm on a Friday when he's at uni, so from 3pm onwards it's the weekend. He worked a 4 day week back when he was in London as well, and it's generally worked out pretty well for us. Is there a reason that you couldn't try it?
Cancel everything nice I ever said about my husband, he's torturing me with Lordi : I am SO not in the mood for this. We live with Steve's dad but for obvious reasons he doesn't help out much with the physical stuff (though he's a great companion for Skye), and all Steve's other family are caught up in the demands of getting older, or having ageing families themselves, so basically it's just us. I have a pretty tight-knit group of mum friends, though.
post #178 of 303
On the family support thing: DH's mom, dad, and brother live 20 minutes away; his sister is actually closer but works full-time. It is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL to have family so close, and they actually insist on looking after Rowan 2 days a week and DH usually takes her there to visit for at least 1/2 day on the weekends. On the one hand it's great, I can get a lot done on those days! But on the other hand, I totally miss her and I usually end up doing something that I think she would really enjoy and then I'm sad she's not with me. But I will freely admit that the time off makes me *definitely* a less harried, happier mama. And they are just the best grandparents, they totally respect our parenting choices 100% and would never, ever do anything with Rowan we didn't approve of. I trust them completely with her. FIL always goes to the library and gets her books and music CDs and he must spend hours there - he always gets books that are sure to appeal to her. (They're retired, I think Rowan is their primary hobby! She's the only grandchild.)

So yeah, I'm totally lucky to have them. Even though they drive me kind of insane sometimes (MIL doesn't really understand my food obsession, FIL hasn't got the common sense of a flea, they regularly need DH to do household fixits and computer work) they are really awesome g'parents and Rowan loves them to bits (and her uncle too, he lives at home and even though he works (from home) he takes time throughout the day when she's there to read to her or play with her.)

I know I could manage just fine without the support, they go on vacation twice a year for months at a time and it's not like I'm super-stressed then or anything, but it is really, really nice to have them there.
post #179 of 303
Thread Starter 
I'm 7 DPO. Come obsess over my chart with me:

post #180 of 303
It would be terrific to have some family in the same country. It's a new year's resolution this year

So Fern, an Aquarius?
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