hey there ladies.
helen, i'm so sorry about your scare over christmas! i'm so glad it's passed, and soon you'll be holding your sweet healthy baby in your arms. (when are you due again?)
fern, so sorry you are having such a rough time! your blog was so sweet...i'm so excited for your to meet your new little one.
Q of C, i'm so sorry about your aunt. i'll be sending healing vibes her way.
amy, hope you are feeling better today. i thought you might be pregnant, too, but i guess with the ivf, it'd be pretty miraculous. as for your prediction that i'd get a bfp this year...i honestly hope i don't...my mind is louder than my body right now. we really are not in place to have a baby right now. so much of our careers is in the air, and feels like it'll take off soon...and a baby would most likely put that to a halt, or slow it down. i'm hoping for a bfp in 2009.
kavita, how great that you have been getting organized, and getting to the gym. i laughed when you shared your story about your DH. i know that one, too! (although now my DH does take care of finley quite often, almost as much as me, but before...)
kaspirant, good luck with the big move!!! can't wait to come over and help unpack and play. i'm glad you took the day off today, and hope you can survive this next month, til you're done. hooray! and what a powerful letter to your mom...
speaking of weight, my contribution to the weight/body image conversation...i don't know where to start, but i, too, like most women in this country, have had my fair share of issues. my mom is teeny tiny, and i felt huge next to her, as i got older. now i realize i am and always have been pretty small, but next to her, i felt big, and she didn't help, jokingly calling me "helga". my SIL is also teeny tiny, like my mom (they are 5'2" and small boned and probably weigh 105 each). i have always had this battle, trying to lose weight, look better, thinner, etc...and have, in the past, been pretty unhealthy about it, a start that began at home, with my mom buying mostly fake "fat free" foods, etc, and my dad asking me one question each day, and only that one question: "did you work out today?" i remember finally, after months of this, breaking down and asking, is that all you care about?? what about what else i did with my day? (and if i said yes, he asked what, specifically, i did. if i said no, he'd go back to watching the game or doing his dictation).
i think i FINALLY have a healthy attitude, actions, and perspective on my body and weight and food and exercise now that i have finley. it started once i moved out and didn't have the weird tension or pressure with my parents in my face and on a daily basis. i started to learn more about real, healthy eating. but i still struggled. but, then, i became pregnant, and i dove into very healthy eating, since suddenly it had to be about health, and not how skinny i was. it was about growing and nourishing my baby. i ate vegetables, i ate well. after finley was born, the weight fell off, mostly...i still had a few extra pounds until he was about seven months old. it fell off, luckily, with no effort on my part. i was, of course, breastfeeding constantly, and then, i lived in new york city, so i was walking (and slinging) everywhere, a LOT of the time. and i continued to eat well, and learn, and eat real food, both for myself and finley. and now, i am not walking like i used to, but i am doing yoga more regularly, and i am doing it because i love it, and i FEEL so good when i do it. and i feel so much better when i am strong and agile. i should probably exercise more. and (nothing against people who go to the gym), but i love that i don't go anymore. i used to go five times a week and obsessively work out for so long, killing myself, and being so concerned with my body. and it's funny, now i don't, and i look and feel better than ever before! i don't know exactly why, but i think a lot of it has to do with my eating, and i think i am getting more exercise in my regular living, as i'm not a student (sitting and studying all day), but am an active woman in my daily stuff...
so anyway, thanks to finley, i am coming to a much better place.
i still face weirdness with my parents (of course), but now i really laugh at it, and it doesn't get to me that much. (this past trip, my mom said i couldn't gain an OUNCE if i got a certain dress, and one of the first things she said, in response to my getting a role on tv, was that the pressure was on (for me to be skinny), cause everyone is so tiny in this world, and the camera adds weight). UGH. i look forward to (hopefully) being a model of another woman on tv/movies with a more normal body. (i do wear a 2/4, but am very curvy, unlike most "hollywood" actresses).
so, there's my long, messy ramble on weight.
it's been a priviledge to be part of this conversation, and i'm so glad to see all of us working with our issues and trying to move on, in an adult way, move past the pains of our past, and live a healthy life.
my goal for this year, in terms of my body, is to do yoga even more consistently and to eat more nutritiously, to continue to learn about the best ways to eat, and to not let the hollywood image/standard get to me, to continue to embrace my own curves and body, as real and womanly as it is.
by the way, this is completely anti-climactic, but i feel like sharing which show i am on.
i was paranoid a lurker might see it, and tell someone who shouldn't know, as it shouldn't be "out and about", because it could reveal future storylines, but at the moment, i'm over that paranoia, and it should air soon-ish, though who knows, now, with the strike.
but anyway, i am going to be on the show "dirty sexy money", which is on abc. i find it to be quite a riot that this is the show i'm going to be on, seeing as how "dirty" and "sexy" and full of "money" i am
, but it'll be fun!
i've done one episode, and should have several more after the strike. my one episode was very tiny...i only have two lines, and am probably on screen for about three seconds...but, still, it's a beginning, and it was a blast. i got to "work" with donald sutherland all day (we weren't in the scene together...i enter right after he exits), but, regardless, it was loads of fun.
finley is sleeping early these days, as he seems to be skipping his nap more and more often. anyone else??
sorry that was so long.
off to scratch more to-do's off my new year's list!