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Moms of Many January 2008 thread!

post #1 of 123
Thread Starter 
We were awfully quiet in our December thread. I'm sure the holidays kept us all busy! Let's get chatty in the New Year!
post #2 of 123
Happy New Year
post #3 of 123
I'm a mom of many- I didn't even know there was a thread for this. I guess I'll start paying attention. Nice to meet you, ladies. Carry on with your busy selves. I'm actually online a lot, I pop in for 3-5 minute spurts throughout the day. We're homeschooling, and my computer is on all day long, just sitting on the kitchen counter.
post #4 of 123
Happy New Year!

I don't want to be a mom of many today, in fact, I could live without being a mom. I went to the post office today (DH dropped me off, drove round the corner to the cash machine, left a 9yo and a 7yo in the car together, and they started playing

Let's kill each other.

And yes, the basic premise is that you hit your brother as hard as possible until something bad happens. And then hit him some more.
WHY do they always do it at the start of the month? HOW am I going to be able to get them to school for the next six weeks until this baby finally drops so low he falls out? WHAT is it going to take to get them to show me their best selves?
post #5 of 123
Awwww- that's no fun.

here's a few keep-them-busy ideas, assuming you're in a place where you can't send them outside...

have them make thank-you cards for all their Xmas gifts.

Every time they fight, LOUDLY PRAISE whichever kids aren't fighting. In my house it sounds like this
DD#1- no you can't use my IPOD
DD#2- then give me back my Nintendo
DD#1- No way, i rented it for anhour, give me back my dollar then
DD#2- but you've had it for 45 minutes already
DD#1- then give me back my 75 cents
DD#2- Not until you give me back my Nintento
ME- Oh My Goodness, DD#5 you are doing such a great job wiping your bum, I am so proud of you. What a big girl you are, and look at you DD#3, thank you so much for pushing in your chair. That will make it much easier to reach your plate when you TAKE IT TO THE SINK. Thanks so much. And I haven't heard you and DD#4 fighting all day long, I am so proud of you, come over here and get a chocolate, because you two are just SO SWEET. Your sisters used to be that way. I'll give you another chocolate if you promise to never fight like that. Do you like to hear them fighting? Me neither. Isn't that annoying.
DD#1& #2 stomp away and I can't hear them fighting anymore.
Later on, they return to apologize & ask for chocolate.
I make them do an extra chore in exchange for the chocolate, apologize publicly and hug for a full minute in front of their sisters. I think it's important for the little ones to see the big ones making up and admitting their wrongdoings. They're suckers for chocolate.

Here's a tip someone once suggested, "If you have enough energy to fight like that, then you have enough energy to run circles around the house. WHich one of you can run ten laps first?

good luck, have fun, these days pass, so very often, don't they. when is your baby due?
post #6 of 123
End of January. Which for me, could be the end of February. And he's sitting so low that three times in the last day, I've rushed off to the toilet for a number two, only to discover that it's not elimination, it's a baby's HEAD I'm feeling : AND it's moved
On the bright side, I'm getting lots of exercise. On the down side, my feet hurt and so does getting upstairs
post #7 of 123
I didn't know there was a moms of many thread either! Hmm, learn something every day! I have many. Well, around here maybe five isn't many but in my world it is so I'm posting!

Helen I hope your feet feel better and you can get a little less exercise. The end of pregnancy is so very hard.

lisa that is too funny with the chocolate! Some of mine don't like chocolate, I must find other ways to bribe them...

Glad to find you mamas!
post #8 of 123

Mum to six little darlings (well some of the time)

We need a Sub-Forums of our own
post #9 of 123
ME, ME, ME! I didn't know this thread was here either. I have 8 and one on the way.
post #10 of 123
Here I am MOMs, and this is my last month to say I have 4 kids under 5yo, because my twins are turning 5yo on Jan 25. So then I'll have 4 kids under 6yo. Which sounds so much more manageable, right?

DS1 and DS2 are nearly 5yo, DD1 is 2.5yo, and DD2 is 3 months.

I'm noticing some dynamics with my kids. DS2 likes to make all the decisions for the kids, and DS1 and DD1 totally go along with it. However, this weekend DS2 decided to challenge his position and wanted to be in charge of EVERYONE (ie, me!) and we had some serious issues. He threw a bunch of tantrums, and after blogging about it I finally realized that our interactions need to change.

I need to give DS1 a chance to do more things for himself (as opposed to letting DS2 do things for him), and encourage DS2 to spend more time with DD1.

I'm hoping that will help everyone.
post #11 of 123
post #12 of 123
Originally Posted by lisarussell View Post
I'm a mom of many- I didn't even know there was a thread for this. I guess I'll start paying attention. Nice to meet you, ladies. Carry on with your busy selves. I'm actually online a lot, I pop in for 3-5 minute spurts throughout the day. We're homeschooling, and my computer is on all day long, just sitting on the kitchen counter.
I come here to Procrastinate when I don't want to do my housework

I didn’t there was a thread for this either which is why I suggest in my earlier post we need a Sub-Forums of our own. Personally with my situation fit into lots of different forums so I float from to another reading bits and pieces.

As for the fighting:

Whose turn it is to (Insert Chore - empty the dishwasher, peg or bring the clothes off the line etc)
The front seat
The biggest dessert
What to watch on tv
Which DVD to watch
Whose turn it is on the playstation/xbox
I was sitting there and now somebody else is
That's my mug or cup and somebody else is drinking out of it or that's my (insert item; ipod, cd, towel etc,)
Whose turn it is to tell Daddy how their day went first when he walks in the door after work.
He/she stole my....
Mum, so and so is (insert one or more of the following; biting, scratching, hitting, annoying) me.

The list is endless......

I came from a family of 5 children and DH is one of four and we knew we wanted a large family. All are in school and the youngest goes to preschool when I work so I do get a bit of a break but at night, on weekends and school holidays all hell can break lose.

Why do so many sentences in my family start with; ‘mum, where’s my…. ‘

I am going to blink and in no time they will have all grown up, left home, fall in love, start their own families and the house is going to feel so empty and quiet.
post #13 of 123
My adorable 9yo went to school with no coat yesterday because he left it in the car : Except, of course, that the car was actually the front porch and there was absolutely no reason for it apart from him being too obtuse to look for it.

WTH was I THINKING? I can't deal with a newborn in addition to the two of them : DH and I are both onlies, so all of this is new to both of us.
post #14 of 123
i'm not a mom of many yet (just 3) but i hope to have at least one more. i love reading about all your cool and crazy families so just thought i'd say so and then get back to lurking.

post #15 of 123
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
My adorable 9yo went to school with no coat yesterday because he left it in the car : Except, of course, that the car was actually the front porch and there was absolutely no reason for it apart from him being too obtuse to look for it.

WTH was I THINKING? I can't deal with a newborn in addition to the two of them : DH and I are both onlies, so all of this is new to both of us.
Just go with the flow and try not to sweat the small stuff and You’ll be all right

I know loads of families with one or two kids that run around stressing and the kids feel that vibe and end up stressed too but if you remain relaxed and calm the kids will be more relaxed and calm too (well some of the time; their’s always an exception to the rule ) if that makes sense.

If all else fails at the end of the day I sit down with DH, a glass of wine and have a laugh about all the silly things and whinge about the horrible things that they did that day.

Originally Posted by chrissy View Post
i'm not a mom of many yet (just 3) but i hope to have at least one more. i love reading about all your cool and crazy families so just thought i'd say and then get back to lurking.
Feel free to drop by anytime
post #16 of 123
Maybe I should have mentioned that with four teenagers in the house I am going grey early…..

You never stop worrying about them; whatever they are doing or wherever they are you are always thinking about them; but I love them to death and wouldn’t change them for the world.
post #17 of 123
Well, we're making some progress in preparing for life as parents with many, well it'll be 3 in June but that's big for us! DH bought me a chest freezer for Xmas/my birthday (which was Jan 4th. I'm ancient now...23 ). Now I'm getting ready to buy the meat to store in the freezer. We'll hopefully be making a trip to a co-op about 45 minutes from here so I can buy some organic bulk grains. I've been AMAZED at how much my 2 boys can eat, even though they're only 2 and 1. We are totally overhauling how we purchase, and also prepare food. My next goal is to purchase a commercial-grade mixer (like a Kitchen Aid) and a bread maker-I've had it up to high heaven with buying bread at the store and I'm ready to make my own. I think we do pretty well with cooking from scratch and not using prepared/boxed foods, but we still could do even better.

Starting and expanding our family has been such an incredible experience. It seems like I really evolve and grow as a person with each child born. If I knew that time, money, and sanity were endlessly abundant, I'd probably end up on TLC being one of "those" families with twenty kids.
post #18 of 123
I love my Kitchen Aid mixer; it’s great for when I do baking with my kids but we buy our bread to save time.

I don’t know how the Duggar family copes with 17 children. I don't know how she keeps all those 'J' names straight either.

on another topic - Comments I have gotten:

"Are they all yours?"
"You must have your hands full"
"Are you going to have anymore?"
post #19 of 123
Originally Posted by baltic_ballet View Post
On another topic - Comments I have gotten:

"Are they all yours?"
"You must have your hands full"
"Are you going to have anymore?"
I found some great answers to these types of comments on another board:

You have your hands full!

* Yes, happily so!
* Yes, and my heart too.
* Don't say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. (This does obviously not work if you are carrying a baby :-)
* Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!

Are they all yours?

* No, I just went to Rent-a-Brat.
* No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets.
* No, actually two are the mailman's and I am not sure whose is that one.....
* We always say YES, because they are OURS....but actually 3 bio, 1 niece, 2 adopted and 4 foster!! But ours in our eyes!!
* No, a couple of them starting following us a few minutes ago. -- This is especially funny when you look at your kids and realize that one of them really ISN'T yours -- he had just started following you and you didn't notice before...
* No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
* Gee, I never heard that question before!
* Yes they are! And then one of the boys will pipe up and mention the 21 yo and the 18 yo if they are not there and of course the baby on the way!
* Of course they're all mine. Do you think I take six (or fill in your number) kids shopping for fun?
* "Legally" first 3 are his & last 3 are ours, I feel in my heart they are all ours.....
* Technically,the oldest 2 are his, the next 2 are mine and the youngest 2 are ours, but we are all just one big happy family (most of the time)LOL, because they all live with us.
* YES!
* Yes, they are all ours. We have been married for 22 years, but only have 11 kids to show for it.
* No..........I have two more at home! (When it fits)
* Well no they are not all " OURS" but in our hearts they are......
* Yes, and they're such good kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the kids love that one!)
* Of course they are..wait..who is that one?Hes not ours.....oh,yeah,#5,I forgot I had him.
* I don't know. How many do you count?
* Yes. But if you have any you don't want, I'll gladly take them, too
* i'm pregnant. I gave this response. Yes, and this one (pointed to my belly) is too.
* No. I've been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the food court!
* Yes, at least that's what I tell my husband.
* Most of the time I only have my 7 youngest ones with me, so when someone asks this, I say yes and one of the younger ones will say and there are 4 more. Then we wait to see how long it takes to add 7+4. Then you should see the looks we get.
* While I was still in hospital after having our 5th, visiting hours were over and we were all standing near the elevator, I was holding the newest and the others were all crowded around, (they ranged from 2ys to 14y) a young girl (early 20s) was trying to wade through the crowd and said "are they all yours?" to which we responded "yes", she then pointed to my still rather large belly and said "and you are having another one?" less than 24 hours after having given birth! I think not!! anyway we had a good laugh. (cbrouse23)

Are you going to have more?

* Yes, we just enjoy sex soooooo much!
* Why do you want to know?
* Well, not today.
* We are trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records of (add whatever here) most kids, largest family living in one house, etc.
* OH YES! I want to have a family bigger then the one in my favorite movie "Yours, Mine & Ours!" only (add a # here) to beat the 19 they had!!
* Yes, I always want just one more.
* Well, we do have a twelve passenger van.
* Check back in nine months and you'll see for yourself.

Don't you know what causes that?

* No, please tell me!
* Of course, don't you?
* Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.
* Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in seperate glasses!
* Oh yes, I now wash my husband's underwear seperately.
* Oh yes, having a great sex life!
* Water or sex but I don't want to give up either.
* Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm "Yes and we like it!"
* You bet I do......love, love, love ( & sex, sex, sex.....hehehe.......)
* Yes! So don't get too close to me!
* It's in the water. Would you like a glass?
* Yes and I know WHO causes it! God gave us these children!
* Yes I do........cold winter nights.........
* LOVE! An overabundance of love!!
* Yes,and as you only have two kids obviously you dont do it much.
* Yes, and it is something I am very good at...
* Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!
* A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord's blessing.

Are you going to get fixed?

* Nope, I am not broken!
* Why do you want to know?
* Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!
* We didn't know anything was broken.
* Don't you only fix things that aren't working properly?
* Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working order. (You have to say this last one with the kinda "I'm not to bright so your question seems kinda foolish don't you think?" attitude.

I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!

* Yes, if I had kids like yours, I wouldn't have any more either!
* Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.
* I do it like most people, in bed and after the kids are sleeping.
* I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.
* Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is just how you use it...nt
* With lots of patience, patience, patience
* go and look at them while they're sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet children of God they are and keeps me going!
* Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go to bed when it's done. nt
* Pick your battles carefully. It helps to have selective sight and hearing!
* Don't sweat the small stuff.
* (this is a good one for chat rooms) Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!

Are you planning to have any more?

* I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
* Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn't know that my husband couldn't count!
* We didn't plan the first six, I don't think we'll plan the next six, either.

I hope you aren't planning to have anymore?!?

* You mean, I just figured out what I'm really, really good at, and you're telling me to stop doing it?
* Talk to God about it... it's up to Him.
* Well, we do have room in our van for 2 more.
* OK, I won't plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!
* Yup we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.

Haven't you heard of birth control?

* Yes, and I thank God it doesn't always work!
* Yes, I've heard of it, I hope you are using it!
* (for dad) Yes, but I just can't find a rubber that will fit me!
* Yes, that's great stuff for people with ugly kids!
* Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't want children.

Don't you have a television?

* Yes, but we only get X-rated channels
* Yes! Did you know there are 28 porn channels in this area?
* No, we have much better things to do at night!
* Yes 4 of them. Why?

How can you afford having so many?

* Lifestyles are expensive not kids.
* We're not on welfare, in huge amounts of debt, and no, my husband is not a doctor or lawyer. We just budget well.
* I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on more.
* " You don't know my financial backer!" (Our God, of course)
* I'm still not sure how we do it...but it works!

Look at that double trouble! (for twins)

* No, they are double blessings!

I am glad it is you and not me!

* Yes, me too!
* My kids are glad it's me and not you too! ;-)
* Oh me too! I love being a mother! and smile real BIG!

Do you get any time for yourselves?

* Obviously we get a little time to ourselves, or we wouldn't have six kids.

Did you give birth to all of them?

* Yes, I gave birth to them all. Do you really believe the stork dropped them off?
* Yes, in my heart...... (for adoptive parents)

When people just keep staring at your family....

* No, we're not Catholic. No, we're not Mormon.
* Yes, they all are mine!
* No, we don't try to overpopulate the earth, just to outnumber the idiots!

Haven't You Had That Baby YET?!!?

* "YES. This is the NEXT ONE!!!!!!!!" See if that don't make their jaws drop!
post #20 of 123
Oh my don't you just love the comments!!?? I always get "Well you know what causes that don't you?" I always answer, "well of course, we don't have cable TV."

One lady asked me if they were foster childern because they don't look like me. Ummm they have a FATHER, maybe they look like him (they do). Actually that really throws many people. I am anglo and my dh is hispanic and the kids do look more like him, with dark hair, eyes and skin tone.

The biggest thing I have learned from having a large family is that I pick my battles. I try very hard not to let the little things get me all worked up. If my 6 yr old dd wants to wear clothes that don't match I just consider the fact that she is dressed and count it as a plus. Then there are little things that I have learned to overlook. I am very picky about the way I fold clothing and towels, the kids aren't quite as neat as I am about it, but I have learned to just be happy that the laundry is actually folded and put away.

I have just discovered a way to either get the kids to go to bed easier or to clean up. Either you help clean up and straighten the house after we have dinner or you go to bed. Simple as that. It has made the house cleaner on some days and the kids well rested on others.
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