August 05 Mamas - Happy 2008! - Page 6

[wsgrl84]

Originally Posted by hopefulfaith

I love it! Adam's new phrase is "Never mind." As in "We can use the purple one! (pause) Never mind. I'll use the red one!"

I am going to miss this language stage.

Nonny, I love your pictures! My favorite is also the one with you in the background - I would never confuse you with Britney. I feel your post about sahming - I was missing work the other day because I really, really miss conversation with other adults. Dh came home from a conference the other day - a terrifically boring one about safety/OSHA stuff - and when I asked him how it was, he gave me the standard shrug and dismissal re: nothing special. I pressed him: Wow me, dh - I've been speaking in short sentences all day....

I do love this stage in language too.... They always have something smart or funny or sweet to say each day. Just the other day, C went over to J and said "Justin, I missed you."


Your comment about your DH reminded me about our married with kids group meeting last week with my neighbor friend that I mentioned awhile back. The last discussion was about "showing empathy in commucation" and we were chatting back and forth about how men and women are wired differently when talking to each other. Men are very simple and to the point...they don't like to waste time as they call it. It makes them tired to talk so much, to answer so many question, to ask them to think about how they feel..etc. Women on the other hand are the opposite...we like to drag it out , describe every little detail and ask every little question. We see chatting as a bonding opportunity and men see chatting as a waste of time. I have the same problem at home...my DH likes to give me short responses when I am looking for more.

[henhao]

Originally Posted by ktmama

Sorry, Deb, you also asked about using vinegar in the laundry. I use b/s in the soap "box" and put 1/4 c or so of vinegar into the place for the bleach. Then I add a few drops of lavender oil to that for disinfecting. HTH.

Hee hee. It took me the longest time to realize "b/s" meant baking soda.


All -- I am reading a cool parenting book called "Respectful Parenting, Respectful Kids" by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson about using nonviolent communication and compassionate listening within our families. I just used compassionate and reflective listening with DH and could immediately feel the tension dissipate during a recent conversation. It works!

More or less, I've always used compassionate listening with O. Did I already write about this? I'm so excited about it. She was hanging onto my leg. I was annoyed. Then, I decided to ask her some questions like "do you want some attention from Mommy?" She did. So we figured out how I could get my leg back and how she could get some attention, and we were all happy.

The book says kids do things because they have needs, and we have to help them figure out what those needs are.

Also, the book talks about how important it is to take time for yourself. I thought that would interest Nonny!

The authors state that your children know when you've had enough and they learn from you. You show them by doing. When you nurture yourself, they learn to nurture themselves. That is an oversimplified version of how it works.

I'm also reading "Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery" by David Albert. Good stuff!

I'm determined to try out this homeschooling adventure!

Waldorf freaks me out. The more I learn about it, the more it makes me uncomfortable about the anthroposophy and how the teachers here do not talk about it unless you ask. I really thought Waldorf was the answer until I started to research it more. Also, they make the child and parent leave if the child won't do what everyone else is doing like eat a snack, sit in the circle, etc. It sounds like a time out to me, and I resist situations where O is forced to do what others are doing.

In fact, people may have thought I was a nut at Spanish class. Everyone was making a house out of construction paper. O did not want to, so I let her take her house apart. I got some looks, but I'm not going to force her to do what others do if what she wants to do is not causing harm or being disruptive.

[henhao]

Originally Posted by tikva18

Henhao - can I ask what made you go wheat free? what differences do you feel as a result today?

I was at my wit's end with skin rashes and prematurely aging skin and so on. I would have open cracked and painful skin. In desperation, I went to a naturopath. She had me on an elimination diet, and I discovered sensitivities to wheat, corn, almonds, moldy cheeses, and a bunch of other items. I knew I was sensitive to peanuts already.

The naturopath had me take some remedies as well -- homeopathic remedies, castor oil packs and all. I was determined and did most all of it.

The difference is life changing. This was THE life-changing experience for me in 2007. I could weep with happiness. I no longer have painful and embarrassing skin rashes. I no longer have flaky gross skin. My hands and face no longer get eczema, and I have LOADS more energy.

It's lovely.

All those years of agony...I can remember having a burning sensation in my stomach as a kid. It never occurred to me to think it was odd. Now I realize that I was sensitive to foods!

Do you think you have a wheat sensitivity? I highly recommend the elimination diet.

[henhao]

Originally Posted by wsgrl84

Thanks everyone for the sympathy and hugs. I hope I didn't come across as being selfish or a naive mom for wanting a little break. I get different views about free time...between "yes Nonny you should try to find a little break time" and "you know what Nonny this is the reality of being a parent now, especially with little kids."

At every moment, you are teaching your children how to be in the world.

"What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become." -- Joseph Chilton Pearce

If you nurture yourself, your children will learn to nurture themselves.

Hugs to you,
Deb

[tikva18]

Originally Posted by henhao

I was at my wit's end with skin rashes and prematurely aging skin and so on. I would have open cracked and painful skin. In desperation, I went to a naturopath. She had me on an elimination diet, and I discovered sensitivities to wheat, corn, almonds, moldy cheeses, and a bunch of other items. I knew I was sensitive to peanuts already.

The naturopath had me take some remedies as well -- homeopathic remedies, castor oil packs and all. I was determined and did most all of it.

The difference is life changing. This was THE life-changing experience for me in 2007. I could weep with happiness. I no longer have painful and embarrassing skin rashes. I no longer have flaky gross skin. My hands and face no longer get eczema, and I have LOADS more energy.

It's lovely.

All those years of agony...I can remember having a burning sensation in my stomach as a kid. It never occurred to me to think it was odd. Now I realize that I was sensitive to foods!

Do you think you have a wheat sensitivity? I highly recommend the elimination diet.

If I had a wheat sensitiity I think my life would be over. I need whole wheat - I'm not full unless I eat bread.
However, my dh, my oldest ds, and my twins are allergic to wheat and gluten, etc. So, i'm trying to hear from an adult who has removed it what the differences have been. I know what I see and hear, but it is very difficult for dh to give it up.

[mtnsunshinemama]

39 weeks on my 39th birthday!

Hi mamas!
Yep, I can hardly believe it , but I turned 39 years old today and I'm about 39 weeks pregnant- Yikes! No major labor action, but plenty of strong BH contrax- more every day! My guess is Saturday, the 2nd, but we shall see....

Since we have taken next to no pregnant pictures this go round, I asked DH to take a few photos of A and I with my big mama belly today!
He also took me out on a date and we had an absolutely wonderful dinner together! I'm still blissed out!
I still have to trim the album down sorry, but here's a glimpse of my big ol' body today!
http://www.soulshinefamily.smugmug.c...3485#248978257

I'm also uploading a funny video of August and his version of what it will be like when I give birth to his sister- funny stuff!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUh_aA1TgEQ

I'm sorry your having a hard time coping, Nonny- I'm a little panicked about how life with 2 will be, but very excited too!
Nice to hear from you Nonny and see both your cute boys and Tikva's twins!
What cuties!
I love to hear about what everyone's kids are saying, very funny what they pick up on, isn't it??

I also enjoy and agree with the talk about teaching our kids by example. I can't believe how much I see myself in my boy lately!

Goodnight mamas, I hope to be back with happy announcements soon!

Also, I finally finished this montage of August's homebirth in the nick of time, don't think I showed it to you ladies...

[hopefulfaith]

Tracy, you are so gorgeous and the kids and I loved watching August birth his babies!

Thinking of you much these days and wishing great blessings of strength and health to you to your baby!



Thank you for the book notes, Deb - I have found that also simply asking Adam what he needs at the times where I perceive him to be most...annoying - is really fruitful. He'll grab my legs, put his arms up my sleeves...and when I ask him, he will often say "I need YOU, Mama." And then we figure out together how he can "have me" and make both of us comfortable. Much more loving than beginning by asking him to stop the behavior, which is what I was doing.

[quelindo]

Tracy, I love the photos. You're so beautiful! A. giving birth was adorable. And Henry & I watched the A's birth montage together -- gorgeous! It made me cry. Was that first song Lucinda Williams?

And Happy Birthday! :

[mtnsunshinemama]

Thanks for your kind words, mamas!
Yes, Newmama- it's Lucinda Williams! I love that song and the metaphor of opening like a rose for my babies! Envision that for me if you will, I think things are ramping up a bit around here, contraction wise....oooh my!

[Mama Coltrane]

Tracy,
Oh, I am so excited about your baby coming soon. The pics are beautiful.

Deb, I also read the Albert homeschooling book and loved it. I think that is the book that finally clinched the deal for me. There were things that were written in that book in his essays that just made perfect sense to me. I loved it. I actually need to buy a copy of that book. Right now I am reading the Unschooling Handbook and it is good, but not as well written or inspiring as the Alpert book.

[henhao]

Hey all,

Glad some of you are into the homeshcooling book by Albert. I'm enjoying it so much.

I wrote a hubpages on toddler activities. I thought it was fun. If you get a chance, please let me know what you think. If you have any fave toddler activities, please share!

http://hubpages.com/hub/toddler-activities

hh

[K's Mom!]

Originally Posted by henhao

At every moment, you are teaching your children how to be in the world.

"What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become." -- Joseph Chilton Pearce

If you nurture yourself, your children will learn to nurture themselves.

Hugs to you,
Deb

Thanks for that quote Deb! I put it on my fridge to remind myself to "behave" and be a better example.

Tracy~ thanks for sharing those photos. They are fabulous. And you are absolutly Gor! I too will send you "opening like a flower" vibes these next couple days. Can't wait to hear about your birth and see pics of your littlest one.

Well, gotta run, I hear C telling K, "It's me sister. Time to Wake up." He doesn't believe in people sleeping in around here.

[chasmyn]

Jeremy - You and Faith are gorgeous! Congratulations, I am so happy for you all

Tracy - I tried searching through the threads and I cannot find that article. Sorry. It does sound like he just needs extra reassurance, though - moving is a big and unpredictable event for them, even when things are explained. He is likely just feeling afraid and uncertain about what is happening, and is expressing it in this way. My thought is lots of extra hugs and love and togetherness.

Kiernen is fascinated with letters and numbers and asks me to draw specific ones and tell him what they are when he points them out. He is nowhere near drawing those letters though, and he has pretty much no interest in the letters in his name over anything else. THOMAS, though, is another story (the tank engine). That word he is fascinated with. : He can count to something-teen, though (I forget which - 19? 18?).

Toothbrushing is an issue here. We do it every night under duress - Kiernen fights and screams and it is a horrible thing to have to do. He bites down on the brush and won't let us in his mouth and we try everything. I am searching for another alternative, but DH is just so set on us doing it every night and doing it well. I'm with NM on the whole nutrient-dense diet thing rather than the torture my kid into brushing thing, though. The problem is that DH hasn't read WAP (and isn't likely to).

Here are some photos of Kiernen from this month - no registration required!

Nonny - : I hear your frustration, and it very valid. You DO need time to yourself, to recharge. I love the photos! Your boys are both so adorable - J looks just like you!

ktmama - I love the cube! Wow, are your girls ever BEAUTIFUL! Those eyes are mesmerizing.

Nonny (again) - I don't know about men not giving long, overly-detailed responses...my DH is the KING of long, drawn-out descriptions of everything - he is VERY thorough in his recounts of things. I sometimes have to stop him and ask him to please bottom-line something to get him to stop giving ridiculous amounts of unnecessary details. :

henhao - Another book added to my must-read list! :

ITA about letting them do their thing. I get looks for that, too - but I really don't care. I don;t care that he wants to wear pajama pants instead of regular pants for 5 days in a row (the same pants). We just change the underwear and go on with life. I always think about things in terms of "the grand scheme of things". I notice a lot how other people who have different ideals want to place them on us: "Oh, are you wearing PAJAMA pants today? You've been wearing those pants every day...." So what? I say to them, "We don't really differentiate between pajama pants and regular pants. He likes these pants - we change the underwear, he wants to wear these, we don't worry about it." They probably then think I'm nuts for letting a 2.5 year old choose his own clothes. :

Tracy - You're gorgeous! I love those photos, so lively and happy. Happy birthing to you, mama! :

[chasmyn]

New Thread, mamas!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...1#post10441301