Top o' the year to you, May (04) Mamas! - Page 26

[elsanne]

Coming here is like getting a hug.

It's been up and down. Well, more like normal, and down. Not much up. Eh.

[TurboClaudia]

gymnastics class saga update from today in blargh. blah. in light of the recent major heavy duty MMF schtuff going on, it feels trivial, but i feel crappy.

~c

[mamameg]

Oh Claudia. I so know your pain. I had a simliar experience with Mia yesterday re: getting dressed. In the end, she stayed in her pjs all day, didn't go to school, and had tantrum after tantrum about it... all because I couldn't let it go. (See, Renae - I'm guilty myself! ) She (I?) finally recovered around 4:30 PM. :

So what to do about Marek? Will they allow people to just come and watch without paying? If so, maybe do that once or twice a month until he seems more sure about participating? Have you asked him why he doesn't want to participate (later, not in the moment)? Does he maybe feel like he can't do it?

As for school, I would start talking to him about it now and make sure he understands what it really entails (ie, participation, mom leaving him there, etc) and see how he reacts. Repeat this conversation weekly so he really gets the picture. Based on his reaction and readiness, consider putting him in preschool. Talk to the school about your uncertainty about his readiness and keep the option open of trying it out and if it doesn't go well, quit going and try again later if he seems to gain interest.

And I know what you mean about these things feeling trivial amidst the mmf madness, but a hard day is a hard day, no matter HOW hard it is.

[mamameg]

Elsanne, thinking of you as a continual stream of consciousness. Love, light and healing to you, sister.

[Jacqueline]

elsanne-I'm thinking of you too (mucho mucho). Thank you for sharing it all with us...enjoy the warm blanket!

[DucetteMama21842]

Alright mamas...

I'm a big ball of whiny tears today.

First off , let me admit I am utterly and completely a mommy's girl... even if my mom drives me absolutely insane sometimes.


TJ has a high probability of getting a management position in his company down in Vancouver and we'd have to relocate immediately. They'd pay for the move... but we'd have to leave, rent our house out, uproot the kids (though they don't have any super close friends here anyway. Most of our close friends are in the Seattle area). I don't want to leave my mom... I don't want to leave this area... I mostly am scared and depressed about going to a new town with no one that I know.. (even though I know some of you are relatively close..) and I feel like I'll be totally lonely there. *Sigh*

I know I shouldn't whine given the other predicaments you other mamas are dealing with... but I'm a small town girl and Vancouver feels like a WORLD away. That being said... I would love to be closer to Oregon again. Sometimes I feel like a loner up here because I am treated a little different for my parenting/birthing/living styles.. ANd the beautiful weather. And the beautiful temple of our church in Portland that TJ and I walked circles around for months when we started going back to church and rebuilding our relationship when Dom was just two months old...

[jstar]

els - your experience sounded much like i could imagine it and thanks for sharing the full spectrum of emotions. i think the real physical pain of it matches the emotional pain. and then the physical pain is over but the emotional pain isn't. but at least it is tempered by major relief. i hope you get a chance to curl up in a ball and leave the rest of the world going on outside around you while you get to recuperate.

danile - vancouver is close to all of us! but i can understand leaving your home. and your mom!

gah - ebin has entered a new phase of expression which involves SCREECHING!! A LOT!!! he has realized he has a voice...he just doesn't have words. i think he's trying to compete with his brother on the sound scale

claudia - i read your blog. i think you handled it really well even if it felt really carpy. you had a plan. you stuck with it. i bet if you tried again he may make the step to join in because he will know you will leave. (he saw you follow through on that plan). it seems like he is scared to join in but if you can give him that forceful prod he will enjoy it so much *and* have that accomplished feeling of conquering a fear. of course it is so hard to 'make' a child do anything they're resisting. so it ends up being some sort of jedi mind trick to be able to get them to do it. an idea - i bet M feels like it is all of the kids vs. him because they are all doing it...and he isn't (yet). is there any way to get to class early and pick a nice looking kid and say 'hi this is M, what's your name?' 'can M put his mat next to yours because he doesn't know anyone in this class?' then put his mat down and act like there is no other assumption except him participating. 'here M you sit next to __ and i am going to sit right over here and watch you'

i could also see him enjoying a preschool experience where he would get to know the kids and feel comfortable with the routine once he got used to it. i wish he could be in isaac's class so he would know someone are any of the westside kids you know attending a preschool close to you?

i should take a shower. ebin is at a trickier phase now with regard to showers. we're past the bouncy seat in the bathroom phase and into the not safe anywhere on the floor unattended phase. and i can't wait for nap because i'm going to a board meeting (and i think my time on the board is over...but i've been included in the email list. so who knows!)

my nice news is that i actually got to go out for a drink last night. nice! i got the boys down and went to meet a friend for a couple of hours. ebin didn't wake while i was gone and all was well.

[meesa143]

Danile~That's a big decision. I'm a big mamas girl too. DH was thinking of going to law school, but we would most likely have to move out of state and I can't leave my family. I talk to my mom almost every day. Maybe you can weigh the pros and cons and decide what is best for your family.

els~*hugs* I hope things get better.

meg~I'm glad to got to go out. I totally relate to the comment on showers. I put K down for 2 min. so I could pee and he found 2 small things on the carpet to put in his mouth while I was gone.

Work today was awful! I got out 2 hours late. I was by myself with 2 drs, 4 dogs that needed their teeth cleaned, 3 spays, a neuter some appts and 2 walk in c-sections. I hadn't pumped in 5 hours and it felt like my boobs were going to explode! We had a cat today with a mouth infection so bad I had to pull all but 3 teeth

I need a drama break. Me and DH got into a conversation/debate about dates that we have taken me/which kid to the dr in front of the nurse at Saige's appt yesterday. We were so tired it all started to blend together. I apologized to her and she told us we should send the kids to grandma's and go out on a date. :

[DucetteMama21842]

Meesa-

Call me ignorant... but i had no idea animals had cesareans! Wow! Now that's technology! Hope thing start feeling better for you! Thanks for the words of support. I'm on the phone with my mom multiple times a day... our house happens to be only ten blocks away from hers (except she just moved this week).

JStar- I would love to see you guys on a regular basis... but again... I'd really miss my mom. She's such a big help. And it makes me sad to think of moving the boys away when they are so close to her and Jasmine before she gets the chance to really know her.

[elsanne]

Meesa--I didn't know animals had csecs either. And, I don't think I knew you were a vet tech! Or maybe you did tell us but I was embroiled in my drama.

You meant "jstar" where you put "meg"--totally understandable as you are new, though, so no worries.

Jstar, you have inspired me to go out tonight for drinks. I'm going to, dammit.

I'm having mega "Viet is a total loser" moments here. Nothing new, and you hardly need more reason to despise him, as you really only hear the worst, but mr. insensitive left me alone last night after the girls went to bed, I got on the internets and was happy for that, but then he just didn't come back until after I went night night. I think he thought I wanted time alone. I think I did too except that I was sad and lonely after a bit. I don't know if it would have been worse to have him there. Where did he go? To his mother's.
Today I call him, and tell him right away, I'm calling to hear some nice words, and I can't remember what he said but it wasn't memorable, then he says he's at his mom's (I can hear they're watching TV), who doesn't know anything about the abortion. I'm calling from work, yet another side job I have. He's sitting there, watching TV with his mom, and I'm at work, the day after this biz. I say, at the end of the stoopid conversation, well I was calling to hear something nice, but I guess later, huh?

Whatever. I'm lookin' for love in all the wrong places, I should know by now how little I can count on him and I should just shove the mama's boy right outta my life.

I probably won't, as youguys have observed, just hear me vent.

One thing I really feel strongly post-ab. is a desire to grab my life by the horns, do my thing, be myself, since I am not dedicating the next year of my life to a small baby I should really take my life back, or make more room for my things, whatever makes me feel like me. Something like that, although writing it out makes me feel stupidly self-centered and very much a product of the Me Generation. *sigh*

[mcsarahb]

Hi all-

Danile - big decision! I can imagine how hard it would be for you to leave. It is never easy even when you're excited and totally gung-ho about it. Keep us updated!

Meesa - hope you get some rest and relaxation soon!

TC - I've been subconsciously mulling over your sitch with class and your blog post today brought it up in my mind again. I am just thinking out loud so don't take offense at anything - obviously I'm not there and our kids are totally different so take what you want and leave the rest!

So, why do you feel the need to keep trying? It seems to me that the energy you expend to take him there, discuss the watching vs participating, etc. is not worth it. I think that he is just not ready for a class, and you can just wait another 6 mos or a year or whatever. M. is obviously a well-adjusted, healthy kid with just a little different social pattern than those other 3-year-olds in the class, and that is fine. I have seen him interact with people he knows and he is obviously just fine. I wouldn't worry about it, and just forget it for a while. Just be very matter-of-fact, no blaming or extended discussion, just "we decided we're not going back to gymnastics class; since you don't want to do the actual activities it's just not worth the money and my time." And I mean really, truly no blame or anything, just a very simple explanation. To me personally, 3 tries is enough and you've done your job of letting him lead the way - he seems not ready, and time to move on.

And of course he is interested in class and school and buses and stuff - it seems every single 3-year-old I know is, especially if they're unschooled. I think if you aren't ready to send him to preschool, don't do it. You can talk and read about it plenty without actually doing it. And when you are ready, he will probably be more ready for it, too. Good luck - I know it's not so simple when you're living it!

S.

[mcsarahb]

Els - I can identify with the struggle between wanting to do stuff for *me* and feeling guilty about it. So I can't really tell you what to do. But just know I hear you. I think you are ready for some *you* time in your life, since you have been raising two small children virtually alone for almost 4 years.

And in some ways, for me personally, I feel like the "me time" I crave is really "personal growth/life fulfillment" time that actually usually results in things that have positive impact on others outside my family...for example, I like to appreciate art and read things that inspire me and hang out with friends that do exciting things in the world and do volunteer work and research ways to work as a midwife and make money by helping underserved populations...all things that are fun and fulfilling in a selfish way but also affect others positively. And I have a suspicion that your "you time" would look kind of like that, too, with just slightly different key focus topics.

S.

[Mama Faery]

Elsanne, I am weeping. I am here in every possible way, and have complete sympathy and empathy alongside you.

I have something profound to share with you (and everymama here, because it is that telling to me right now), and it made me twist inside with the realization of it;
My period was three weeks late. I should have gotten it earlier this month, MUCH earlier, and I knew I was NOT pregnant, but it was just...inexplicably late. :
So anyway, this morning, my period comes. And hurts. A LOT. Like, more than usual to the point where I was like "god, is this normal?!?!" But I deal, and take painkillers, and nap when Rowan napped (he napped! HOLY heck!) and then I came here and read your update, Elsanne, and while I sat here with tears in my eyes my uterus CRAMPED.
Like, "HELLO, sympathy!!"
I am just floored by how I can feel so close to people without having even "met" anyone in person. It's just...yeah. *sigh*

So I guess I just wanted to say I'm here. :

And now I am off to sit with some tea and watch a movie. DH is going out with friends tonight.

I love you all.

[jstar]

i don't think it sounds like selfish ME generation talk at all. i think it is the talk of someone who just gained an immense amount of freedom

isaac is obsessed with school buses and i don't even think they have school buses around here for the kids

the shrieker is rolling around on the floor. it is like living with a parrot. a really talkative parrot

[TurboClaudia]

conclusion to gymnastics saga on bloggity.



~c

[Mama Faery]

Aww, Claudia, so sorry to hear it! But you know, you tried. And you honored M's choice, you know?
We're starting to think that Rowan is done with music class too. It's the last one in the cycle of classes that we have done since Rowan was 6 months old? Something like that...and the cut-off is 4 years old anyway, so this one will probably be the last.

And THEN...we got nothin'.

I would write more but I have to get our stuff together to go to the library for story hour. After a week of pretty much not leaving the house (HELLO, cabin fever! ) Rowan is definitely well enough to make it to the library. We'll see how the madness commences.

jstar, your post made me A really talkative parrot! That sometimes speaks in tongues and goes utterly DEAF. That's our parrot, anyway.

Have a great day, everyone.

[meesa143]

No time to really post, I'm working again *sigh* Hugs to you all

[jstar]

mornin! i have to work today too

i just got a lecture from my mom on how i am letting isaac get away with too much

i've decided to leave isaac here for my next trip. i'm flying to oakland on wednesday and was supposed to take him. it is too soon though i think and he wants to stay home. at least he says he does...i wonder how he'll do when i actually pack. it will be WAY more relaxing for me though to just have ebin.

i'm glad the gymnastics thing is resolved -- no more stress about that!

[mamameg]

Claudia, I'm sorry the gymnastics thing was so frustrating, but I'm sure he learned somethings from the experience (about gymnastics and about how mama has her limits, too) and I think you handled it all quite well.

I was thinking... do you have any dance studios in your area that do a mini day camp thing? We have a place here that does a preschool program for kids ages 2-4 called Wiggles & Giggles. It's a drop off thing, but only lasts 3 hours. They dance, read stories (but very dramatically), do puppet shoes, play in the garden. It's a really nice intro to any sort of away from mama activity. If you found something like that, wold Marek be into it? I dunno... maybe he's just not ready for anything, and that's okay too.

Elsanne, I'm sorry Viet is being so lame. He really doesn't understand the jewel you are, does he?

Gotta go get Mia dressed. We are working on this not being such a struggle and I put some new rules around when we get dressed (right after breakfast) so I guess I better stick to her, um my new rules.

[meesa143]

oops