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January Bi Parents Thread - Page 2

post #21 of 111
Happy New Year, everyone. I am in a pissed-off mood because my girlfriend of ten years ended our relationship about a year ago and there are NO GAY OR BISEXUAL women in this state. If there are, they're hiding or something. I love my husband, but if I don't have a relationship with a woman going on, I get really crabby. (He knows I am Bi BTW)
Maybe this year will be better for me. Or maybe I will just learn to go without. Who knows?
post #22 of 111
Thread Starter 
Oh - how frustrating! Maybe concentrating on something else, the whole not looking part, will make the right woman magically appear!

Welcome to our new friends and it's nice to see the girls from last year rockin' in 2008 with me.
post #23 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by KailuaMamatoMaya View Post
Welcome to our new friends and it's nice to see the girls from last year rockin' in 2008 with me.


Yes, hello everybody!

: <-- Ooh, there's another fun new one. There's a lot of new smilies in there. I like that one lots.
post #24 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissacamille View Post
Happy New Year, everyone. I am in a pissed-off mood because my girlfriend of ten years ended our relationship about a year ago and there are NO GAY OR BISEXUAL women in this state. If there are, they're hiding or something. I love my husband, but if I don't have a relationship with a woman going on, I get really crabby. (He knows I am Bi BTW)
Maybe this year will be better for me. Or maybe I will just learn to go without. Who knows?
Yep, they aren't exactly crawling out of the woodwork here in Indiana either! I feel ya!
post #25 of 111
Hi ladies. I've been lurking, but figured I should introduce myself. I'm a hetero mom of a 1 year old, married to a recently-out (to friends) bi guy. I may not belong here, but wanted to see if any other mamas are married to bi dudes.

Also, I had a question. Since my dp recently came out to just a few people as bi, he's now struggling with whether or not he's "gay enough" to call himself bi, mostly due to lack of experience w/ guys. Any words of wisdom on how I can support him?

Thanks for listening!
post #26 of 111
greetings from cyclone-land

lisacamille, sometimes I feel like that too

kritto, welcome
I dont see any problem with your dp coming out as bi but not having so much experience.
post #27 of 111
Hi Kritto,

I think that is the biggest problem with 'labels'. So many people have their own definition of what it means to be 'bi' that it becomes confusing to accept that label for yourself.

Think of it this way: If you are straight no one says to you "are you sure?? Have you been with someone of the opposite sex to know if you like it or not?" or "you've only been with 1 or 2 people sexually and you only did a few things. Are you sure you are straight?" No, they accept that even if you've never had a sexual experience that you are indeed straight. So, why should being Bi mean you have to justify it with sexual endevors.

I totally believe that being 'straight', 'bi' or 'gay' has nothing to do with sex. I believe it has to do with who you would like to share your life with. Being Bi just means that you have more options. I don't think that because you have chosen 1 sex over the other changes that you could still see yourself with a partner of the other sex of your current partner.

I also believe that someone can accept that sex is enjoyable no matter who their partner is and still be 'straight' or 'gay' without being Bi. I know men and women who label themselves as straight and could never see themselves in a relationship with another man/woman even though they have had samesexed partners and enjoyed it.

I think that if your DH is happiest being know as Bi and not straight then that is who he is whether he's had sex with men before or not. I found that when I 'came out' to myself that it was easier to just be myself with my DH and we are enjoying each other much more now. It's great not having to hide that I think the cute little redhead (CLR) walking down the street is hot
post #28 of 111
:

I agree with African Tulip!
The only part I'm not so sure about is a straight person having and enjoying sex with someone of the same gender, and yet still being straight. Straight-leaning, maybe. I've definitely known those people. But I do think that sexual component is a part of orientation, whether or not that same person could have a relationship with someone of the same gender.

Although, when it comes down to it, it's just about that feeling inside. Not what you actually do-- there's not some big classification method to find out where a person is on the sexuality spectrum. I mean, the Kinsey scale and the Klein grid can be useful for some things, but ultimately one just has to listen to that feeling inside. I do think that the vast majority of people have great difficult doing that, when there are so many outside influences and life experiences clouding the mind. That's the part that really confuses people, I think.
post #29 of 111
yeah, I tried listening inside, but all the voices in my head just got me confused
post #30 of 111
Popping in from lurker land . . .

To Kritto: First, it's awesome that you're so supportive of your dp! As to the "gay enough" question, I must agree with others that experience is not what defines sexuality. I label (under duress) as Bi because I am attracted to both. I've only had one female partner (my wife) and one male partner (which was a 1 time threesome and didn't involve intercourse). And, truthfully, I can't see myself settling down with a guy (unless possibly as a 3rd). But I am attracted to some men, enjoyed my one experience with a guy, and would probably jump at the chance for a repeat.

If I needed multiple partners or lots of experience, I'd have to label as lesbian, or even asexual!

I also have a friend who has had exclusively male partners since HS, but IDs as Bi.

So tell him not to sweat it. If he wants experience with guys and that's something you're willing to support him in as his partner, great. But you don't have to be "actively" Bi to be Bi.
post #31 of 111
Just popping in from the void. I can't believe I missed the start of the month! Damn cold me and the kidlets had over the New Year...

Going to go catch up on the thread now and see what I missed... :
post #32 of 111
I'm new to MDC, but I just hadda toss in my 2-cents...
I agree with African Tulip! Labels are dangerous and a waste of time! *lol*
I'm a bi woman who leans gay, but in this area there are no "eligible" fish. And since I've been officially single for ten years and have had no sex with either gender for almost 6 years, does that automatically make me asexual? I think we put these labels on ourselves so other people are more comfortable "knowing" us, but they really mean nothing. It's all maya- all illusion. Today, I'm totally hungry for female contact. By Friday, I may desire a fella. Who knows! I've grown tired of having to either stifle my ~*urges*~ or change the Desired-Gender-Designation sign over my heart everytime I get to feeling romantic.

So, Kritto, if your dude likes guys, and you're supportive, then it's golden!
post #33 of 111
Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your replies, and will share them with my dp. It's so nice to find a group of open-minded people who understand.
post #34 of 111
banjosmama
i agree with you mostly, but IMO, in some cases labels can be good things. (mostly on pantry items though). It does help folk to find others who identify with similar things. like us calling ourselves "bi mamas". we all of us fall on a pretty broad spectrum on what "bi mama" means, and we dont all fully identify with the stereotypical interpretation of what "bi" means, nor do we all use the same interpretation of that label... but it doesn't matter, because the use of that label, despite its faults, is what brought us all together

anyway, nice to meet you and I hope we see more of you on the thread.

heket, hope you and the kidlets are feeling better.
post #35 of 111
Happy New Year! Does anyone watch Showtime' "The L Word" (respecting those who do not prefer television )? The premiere of the season was great!

I'm giddy happy with a special beauty in my life..... I think this will be a good year.
post #36 of 111
I love the L Word I've only seen the first 2 seasons though. I'd love to see the rest.
living vicariously through television
post #37 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by azedazobollis View Post
Happy New Year! Does anyone watch Showtime' "The L Word" (respecting those who do not prefer television )? The premiere of the season was great!

I'm giddy happy with a special beauty in my life..... I think this will be a good year.
I the L word! Haven't seen any of the new season though.

That is wonderful that you found someone special!
post #38 of 111
I'm getting addicted to The L Word! I just watched the first four episodes from NetFlix (don't have a tv). Since I live in the Redneck Armpit of California, and am not dating, I - like you majikfaerie - am living vicariously through tv (...and thanks for the Welcome!!)
post #39 of 111
yep. another L word fan here. Too bad there aren't more lesbian shows on tv.
post #40 of 111
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Some of you all are really some major travelers....I barely get a chance to get out of city limits!! LOL I'd love to experience more around the world!


Welcome to the new mamas!!

Kritto- My DH is bi. He felt that way since he was a teen but never had any experiences until recently. When he finally opened up to me it was like a whole new relationship bloomed between us! Now we're just one big happy BI couple!!

I hope this year brings me a beautiful woman to love too!! :
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