Unschooling Support Jan 08 - Page 10

[majikfaerie]

oooh, just after I posted this, I thought maybe I could mix beetroot extract with lip-balm.

[anarchamama]

Ok well I have been meaning to post to this thread again for awhile, but life keeps catching up with me. Now that DS is 4.5 all his friends are starting school and we are struggling to find a group of young HS friends in the city, DS is very social and it's hard for me to keep him topped up. Especially with a 2 year old tornado running around taking up all my time.

We have started an exciting new project. We bought a big piece of land (well big for a city lot) about 50X300, on a small river, in the french district of Winnipeg, right across the river from downtown and backing onto a smaller river. On it we are building a multi-generational co-op house for us, my parents and Dh's mom. It will have 2 granny suites on the top floor, a common living room/dining/kitchen/study on the main floor and a finished basement for us. We are super excited about this and it's keeping us really busy as we are trying to move quick since we already bought the land. We take possesion in Feb and hopefully will break ground in march, the kids are really excited for the demolition and I think it will be really cool to watch the construction from start to finish. I think we are going to put in our garden on that lot this summer so we should be there a lot.

It is really cold here (like -40 cold) and DS2 is really cold sensitive which menas we basically can't go outside to play ever. SO we have been spending a lot of time at the Y. DS1 is in swimming and gymnastics, adn we often go tot he run around drop in gym time to. DS's old gymnastics class was super slack, as in they set up the stations and the kids just run around with no instruction, DS was getting really fed up as he wanted to learn some cool tricks. Anyway they got a new teacher who is super strict and loud, he's not unkind but he's a big guy and he raises his voice to hold the kids attention and really tries to keep them on task. DS is slightly freaked out by him, but I think he there is actually the potantial to learn a lot if he participates. We'll see what happens, DS is not used to authoritative adults, so he's intimidated but at the same time he's never had any bad experiences so he's not actually fearfull just cautious.

DS1 is finally getting into chapter books (thank goodness) and we have been enjoying the pippi books. Although today Dh was like "I thought you said these books were anti-authority? Her dad is a king! WTH?"

Anyway all's well and I am really trying to check in here more often. I feel the need to brace myself for the big coming out as homeschooler year! :

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

oooh, just after I posted this, I thought maybe I could mix beetroot extract with lip-balm.

also you can make some eye shadow out of cocoa power

[anarchamama]

Also wondering what your favorite unschooling books are? I have a few general HSing books and have read a handfull each of Kohn, Gatto and Holt, but I'm looking for something specificlly on unschooling (or child directed learning or whatever....) and theory. Suggestiosn?

[majikfaerie]

okay, I'm off to the kitchen to make some organic make-up!

who knows, you may all be witnessing the birth of my new cosmetics empire
don't worry, I'll still remember you mamas when i'm rich and shameless. maybe.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

marinewife, your ds looks gorgeous!
I don't have any makeup for dd to get into, and it really annoys her.

Actually, I'm really stuck on the make-up thing. of course, my unschooling heart doesn't mind if DD wants to play with make-up, but make-up is too often soooooooo toxic. I'd buy the "natural organic" ones, which I imagine have better ingredients (like dr hauschka or my essence) but they are so freakin expensive! like $30 for a lipstick. which is, imo, just too much to pay for my kid's dress-ups. So I would buy her the really cheap stuff, but then I read the ingredients and turn green.
any ideas??

I feel this way about most things and haven't figured out quite how to reconcile it. The make up I have is years old and mostly given to me as gifts. I hardly ever wear it. I don't think I'd purposely buy makeup for my ds. I like the idea of making our own.

[Smalls181]

Hi everyone! Newbie here. Since my daughter is just shy of 2, unschooling seemed like a pretty natural thing to do for the time being. My husband is on the fence as far as schooling goes, but for now, its obvious that taking her lead and teaching her what she wants to know is the best way to go.

This past week has been pretty amazing, though. We read a lot of books and sing the alphabet song a lot. She started getting out her lettered blocks, pointing to the letters, and spouting off random letters. ("A" is her favorite letter to say.) She also will draw lines, point them, and say "A". And does the same thing with her fridge magnets. I took all of this as a sign that she is ready to start learning her letters. So when she gets out letters and starts listing them off, I tell her the right ones. She actually learned "I" and "O" almost immediately! I couldnt believe it. I thought it would takes months before any of this sticks, but it is sticking! And it is just so awesome that we are following her lead. This week has been very encouraging.

[mackysmama]

Majikfaerie - I'm glad that meeting went well. Getting that kind of support and comraderie is really important to me but I also find it very difficult to find like minded people. But I've also found that I don't need LOTS of people, just a few who share my values, interests, etc.

ColwynsMommy - I hear you about the events being right during the little ones naps. I have a 2.5 yo and a 5.5 yo and most of the homeschooling events start right at 1:00 p.m. : I realized that most do "school at home" in the mornings, which is the best time for us to do our outings. My dd just gave up her nap : so that is opening up our schedule a lot.

MarineWife - your son is super cute in the makeup and looks so proud of himself in his rocket ship. I love big cardboard boxes. We had our kitchen remodeled recently and my kids made an awesome castle out of the box for the double oven. It was the best toy we've ever had!

Originally Posted by anarchamama

We bought a big piece of land (well big for a city lot) about 50X300, on a small river, in the french district of Winnipeg, right across the river from downtown and backing onto a smaller river. On it we are building a multi-generational co-op house for us, my parents and Dh's mom. It will have 2 granny suites on the top floor, a common living room/dining/kitchen/study on the main floor and a finished basement for us.

Wow! That sounds heavenly. And how wonderful that it is multi-generational - I've been giving that a lot of thought recently; how our lives our lacking in multi-generational community.

Well, we had an interesting day yesterday. My son had his nature class and for the 2nd week in a row, I've ended up answering a million questions from the other moms about homeschooling. It seems that most mothers I talk to are unhappy with schooling options but they find the idea of homeschooling to be very intimidating. I get LOTS of positive comments from them and it seems they have their kids in public school, mostly K, because they didn't know what else to do. Why does the general public think homeschooling is so great but so hard? They have a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea of life-learning. I think it helps, though, that they see that my son knows so much about the topics and is so generally excited about learning about nature.

We are off to share some lollipops with our friend who has the chicken pox. My kids are VERY excited and I think my 2.5 y.o. thinks we are going to be actually catching chickens. But, she also said something that made me think that she thinks "chicken pox" is a kind of dessert. That is VERY funny as she's a vegetarian! Then to Homeschool PE and back home to try to get some laundry folded and give the kids some downtime (I am ALL about the downtime now!)

[anarchamama]

[QUOTE=mackysmama;

We are off to share some lollipops with our friend who has the chicken pox. My kids are VERY excited and I think my 2.5 y.o. thinks we are going to be actually catching chickens. But, she also said something that made me think that she thinks "chicken pox" is a kind of dessert. That is VERY funny as she's a vegetarian! Then to Homeschool PE and back home to try to get some laundry folded and give the kids some downtime (I am ALL about the downtime now!)[/QUOTE]

Haha. I just gave my kids chicken pox, well they just got over it, and ODS was like "get away, don't touch me! I don't want your germs!" but he got it anyway, as he doesen't really understand airborn germmies.

[MarineWife]

I want chicken pox! I tried to expose ds2 to chicken pox last spring. The kids who had it were at the end and they had gotten it from a kid who had the vaccine strain (from being vaccinated, of course) so I don't know how strong it was. He did get some cold symptoms a few days afterward but never got any lesions. I don't know if that counts or not. I have read that in very mild cases chicken pox may present as just a cold. Anway, I figure if asked, I'll just say he's had them. I'd like to expose him again, though, just to be safe. It's so hard to find these days.

[majikfaerie]

Originally Posted by Smalls181

I took all of this as a sign that she is ready to start learning her letters. So when she gets out letters and starts listing them off, I tell her the right ones. She actually learned "I" and "O" almost immediately! I couldnt believe it. I thought it would takes months before any of this sticks, but it is sticking! And it is just so awesome that we are following her lead. This week has been very encouraging.

Hi smalls181, welcome
That's exciting that your DD is starting to learn her letters.
My DD started learning her letters, totally on her own, when she was about 18mo. By the time she was 20mo, she knew all the letters in English and Hebrew (we were living in Israel), and was starting to sound out words and spell things.

She was like the 'wonder' of our neighbourhood. Everyone knew this amazing little baby who could 'read'. we'd sit at the bus stop and she'd read out all the letters and sound out the words on the advertisements.

But I'd started 'pushing' her. It became more me trying to teach her than her doing her own exploring. I made up all these alphabet cards, and flash cards, and I would 'drill' her all the time. All the time I'd be pointing to words and saying "what's this letter?" "how do you spell this word?" etc.

Pretty quickly, she started to shy away from it, and in the end, downright refused to play the "letters" game. She still knew her letters, but she wasn't interested in reading stuff any more, and the more I tried to encourage her to learn to read, the more she backed away.

That was how I discovered unschooling. I realised that me trying to teach her actually blocked her from learning. and I found that not just with the alphabet, but with everything. As long as it was her choice, her interest, and her leading the way, with me as an occasional assistant, but mostly me as a spectator (if that), she would learn amazing amounts of stuff. But when I tried to lead her a bit, and 'teach', she'd back right off and lose interest in about 2 minutes.

Since I found out about unschooling, and child-led learning, and all that, I backed right off. and DD came right out of her shell. Now she's that amazing kid in the neighbourhood again, but no one is pushing her.

At about 4yo she started reading again. very quickly she started reading and writing. But totally on her own. if she asks for help, I give it, but otherwise, I'm letting her do her own thing.

I don't mean to sound preachy at all, just sharing my experience, which seems to be similiar to where you are now.

mackysmama, good luck with the chicken pox!

[wonderwahine]

ds did someting amazing the other night, he wanted his playing cards down off the top bookshelf and couldnt reach them. Knowing that he cant speak, and doesnt know a sign for them, he looked through his book shelf and pulled out a little bob book that has some vacabulary words in the back, he brought it over to me, opened it up, pointed to the word card, and then pointed up to his cards on the bookcase! And when I asked "do you want your cards?" he nodded yes and ran over to get them.

we havent been teaching him any words, he wont let us read the words in a book to him, we are only allowed to name the people/objects. he knows what a ball is, and when he sees blue things, he will do the sign for blues clues to indicate blue!!!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by mackysmama

Why does the general public think homeschooling is so great but so hard?

I can give you my opinion, fwiw. First, I think our culture feeds the fear that we can't possibly be at home with our children all day and keep our sanity. They must drive us crazy. So, even if we like to be with our children and want to have them home with us, we are bombarded with messages that tell us we're wrong and it's just not possible. Second, we have this sort of warped idea of what a teacher is. A teacher must be some very special person with so much more knowledge than the average person. A mere parent couldn't possibly know as much as a teacher. People forget that parents are the first and last teachers.

wonderwahine ~ That sounds very cool! Are you not allowed to read words to him because he doesn't want you to or because of his therapy? Just curious.

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

wonderwahine ~ That sounds very cool! Are you not allowed to read words to him because he doesn't want you to or because of his therapy? Just curious.

we havent started any therapy as of yet : but he wont let us read because its just one of his little quirks, if you read the words, he closes the books and ends story time.

[majikfaerie]

Originally Posted by wonderwahine

ds did someting amazing the other night, he wanted his playing cards down off the top bookshelf and couldnt reach them. Knowing that he cant speak, and doesnt know a sign for them, he looked through his book shelf and pulled out a little bob book that has some vacabulary words in the back, he brought it over to me, opened it up, pointed to the word card, and then pointed up to his cards on the bookcase! And when I asked "do you want your cards?" he nodded yes and ran over to get them.

ww that is AWESOME!!
he really went through an intelligent and complex way to communicate with you I'm so proud of him

Originally Posted by MarineWife

I can give you my opinion, fwiw. First, I think our culture feeds the fear that we can't possibly be at home with our children all day and keep our sanity. They must drive us crazy. So, even if we like to be with our children and want to have them home with us, we are bombarded with messages that tell us we're wrong and it's just not possible. Second, we have this sort of warped idea of what a teacher is. A teacher must be some very special person with so much more knowledge than the average person. A mere parent couldn't possibly know as much as a teacher. People forget that parents are the first and last teachers.

:
also, I think we are conditioned to be in adversarial relationships with our parents/ children.
if you start out with the belief that your children are inherently 'bad' and are just going to try to manipulate and connive to be bad, that just sets you up for trouble on so many levels. I can easily imagine why parents with this sub-conscious mindset might balk at the idea of spending their days with their children.

oh! and I bought DD a guitar today! kind of a really early birthday present.
its a 1/4 size classical guitar, that came with an instruction dvd.
it was so sweet to see her sitting with the guitar, following the dvd. she was really comprehending it, and going through the steps. but after a while, she got bored of it, and said "well, people are allowed to play guitar how they want to"

so then she just strummed and improvised songs. I made a video, I'll upload and post a link, her first song was about a man who was in a car crash that knocked him off his motorbike and he needed a heart transplant! :

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

also, I think we are conditioned to be in adversarial relationships with our parents/ children.

This is absolutely true IMO/IME. All you have to do is watch a sitcom or movie with a family in it to see this common dynamic taking place. The kids are always obnoxious, selfish, manipulative, and hell bent on "being bad" and the parents/adults are always controlling, ignorant/naive to "these kids these days", punitive, and uptight. It's like there are these roles parents and kids are just supposed to fall into. I think it's BS. So many people buy into it though, and like Majik said above, from that POV I can see why the thought of being with your kids all day would seem terrifying.

she was really comprehending it, and going through the steps. but after a while, she got bored of it, and said "well, people are allowed to play guitar how they want to"

LOL good for her! What a neat gift. I bet she's going to have a blast with it.

[turnipmama]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

:
also, I think we are conditioned to be in adversarial relationships with our parents/ children.
if you start out with the belief that your children are inherently 'bad' and are just going to try to manipulate and connive to be bad, that just sets you up for trouble on so many levels. I can easily imagine why parents with this sub-conscious mindset might balk at the idea of spending their days with their children.

I never really thought about this before but when you think about it it really is true. At least in the US, children aren't really thought of as thoughtful beings with needs and desires worth being met the same as adults. They are just being "manipulative" and "testing you" when really they are just trying to figure out the world they live in. Does that make sense?

[Smalls181]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

Hi smalls181, welcome
That's exciting that your DD is starting to learn her letters.
My DD started learning her letters, totally on her own, when she was about 18mo. By the time she was 20mo, she knew all the letters in English and Hebrew (we were living in Israel), and was starting to sound out words and spell things.

She was like the 'wonder' of our neighbourhood. Everyone knew this amazing little baby who could 'read'. we'd sit at the bus stop and she'd read out all the letters and sound out the words on the advertisements.

But I'd started 'pushing' her. It became more me trying to teach her than her doing her own exploring. I made up all these alphabet cards, and flash cards, and I would 'drill' her all the time. All the time I'd be pointing to words and saying "what's this letter?" "how do you spell this word?" etc.

Pretty quickly, she started to shy away from it, and in the end, downright refused to play the "letters" game. She still knew her letters, but she wasn't interested in reading stuff any more, and the more I tried to encourage her to learn to read, the more she backed away.

That was how I discovered unschooling. I realised that me trying to teach her actually blocked her from learning. and I found that not just with the alphabet, but with everything. As long as it was her choice, her interest, and her leading the way, with me as an occasional assistant, but mostly me as a spectator (if that), she would learn amazing amounts of stuff. But when I tried to lead her a bit, and 'teach', she'd back right off and lose interest in about 2 minutes.

Since I found out about unschooling, and child-led learning, and all that, I backed right off. and DD came right out of her shell. Now she's that amazing kid in the neighbourhood again, but no one is pushing her.

At about 4yo she started reading again. very quickly she started reading and writing. But totally on her own. if she asks for help, I give it, but otherwise, I'm letting her do her own thing.

I don't mean to sound preachy at all, just sharing my experience, which seems to be similiar to where you are now.

mackysmama, good luck with the chicken pox!

Thank you for this! First of all, I do not want to be one of those mothers who has to be in competition with the other mothers as to whose child is doing the most, is the smartest, etc etc. I see it all the time, and if I am not careful, I will get sucked into that. I think the fact that she has started getting into letters could lead me in that direction, if I am not careful. Its one thing to be excited that my child is learning on her own terms, its another to start bragging and being competitive. I just have to watch myself carefully!

But yea, I will definitely watch her carefully and not over-do it. I dont care if she starts to read next month, or 5 years from now, as long as its what she wants to do.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by Smalls181

But yea, I will definitely watch her carefully and not over-do it. I dont care if she starts to read next month, or 5 years from now, as long as its what she wants to do.

I've been thinking my ds has been about to start reading since he was 3, lol. He knew all his letters and sounds and his dad was an early reader. Now he is 6 1/2 and still on the cusp of learning to read.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

:
also, I think we are conditioned to be in adversarial relationships with our parents/ children.
if you start out with the belief that your children are inherently 'bad' and are just going to try to manipulate and connive to be bad, that just sets you up for trouble on so many levels. I can easily imagine why parents with this sub-conscious mindset might balk at the idea of spending their days with their children.

ITA. I had another thought on this last night but now can't remember it. If it comes back to me, I'll repost.

4evermom ~ I can see myself doing that with my ds. He's been recognizing and reading various letters and numbers and other symbols for a few years now. Recently, he's started "reading" books with me. I think he does recognize some of the words. I started to get very excited and thought to myself, "Wow! What a smart kid, reading at 4yo." I had to catch myself.

This morning he practiced balance and gross motor skills by tipping my computer chair on it's side and standing with one foot on a leg and the other on the stand tube under the seat (whatever you call that thing). Then he practiced falling over. He started getting a cold yesterday so no one got much sleep last night. As soon as I got one kid settled the other started squirming. Ah, one of these days I actually get some sleep again.