support please-I feel horrible for giving my son formula update number45

[mama2rey]

It seems that the more I pump the less milk I have. My DS cries when I put him on my breast and no matter what I do I have so little milk. I'm eating oatmeal, taking Fenugreek 3x a day, taking an herb called Shatavari, pumping after feedings, before feedings, laying my baby on me skin to skin.

If one more person asks me how breastfeeding is going, I am going to snap.

If one more person tells me that low milk supply is rare I will scream.

I keep googling low milk supply-and I keep reading that breastmilk is best=formula is 4th best, with pumped breastmilk, and donated breastmilk being 2 and 3. Well-I can pump about 1/2 an ounce during a good pump session. I looked into getting formula from a milk bank-it's 3 dollars an OUNCE! So I am stuck giving my child what's 4th best

Maybe it's hormones-but I feel so horrible. My DS is so perfect and beautiful and here I am feeding him something that will make him more likely to get ear infections, skin problems, have a lower IQ, allergies, you name it BM protects you from it.

I feel like a total failure. A horrible mother, It just sucks!! This is all because when I was 17 I had some stupid breast surgery. I won't even go into why I did-it was necessary, but I wish an adult would have helped me erxplore options more. Instead I was pressured into a surgery that could have been delayed-it's really a long story-I'm not regretting my surgery, but I am wishing alternatives had been explored.

I really just need a good cry. I have never felt more inadequate in my entire life.

[JustJamie]

Originally Posted by expectantmami

It seems that the more I pump the less milk I have. My DS cries when I put him on my breast and no matter what I do I have so little milk. I'm eating oatmeal, taking Fenugreek 3x a day, taking an herb called Shatavari, pumping after feedings, before feedings, laying my baby on me skin to skin.

If one more person asks me how breastfeeding is going, I am going to snap.

If one more person tells me that low milk supply is rare I will scream.

I keep googling low milk supply-and I keep reading that breastmilk is best=formula is 4th best, with pumped breastmilk, and donated breastmilk being 2 and 3. Well-I can pump about 1/2 an ounce during a good pump session. I looked into getting formula from a milk bank-it's 3 dollars an OUNCE! So I am stuck giving my child what's 4th best

Maybe it's hormones-but I feel so horrible. My DS is so perfect and beautiful and here I am feeding him something that will make him more likely to get ear infections, skin problems, have a lower IQ, allergies, you name it BM protects you from it.

I feel like a total failure. A horrible mother, It just sucks!! This is all because when I was 17 I had some stupid breast surgery. I won't even go into why I did-it was necessary, but I wish an adult would have helped me erxplore options more. Instead I was pressured into a surgery that could have been delayed-it's really a long story-I'm not regretting my surgery, but I am wishing alternatives had been explored.

I really just need a good cry. I have never felt more inadequate in my entire life.

:

A single drop of breastmilk is better than none at all. Don't feel bad because you have to supplement, be darn proud of yourself that you're giving him breastmilk at all.

[mandalin24kd]

How long have you been supplementing him? How oftened.

You need to remember something very important. What you are going through right now is not at all uncommon. Your body, your breasts, you and your baby are in the infancy (literally) of building a very intimate relationship and it will take time for all of those things to adjust and learn each other! You guys just met!!!

The more you supplement, you less milk you will have!! Has he gained any weight since birth? If he's gained or stayed even, he is getting more than enough for now. Babies that are starving don't gain weight. And pumping a half ounce in a session is a lot more than most women with bountiful supply's can say!! What kind of pump are you using, that could make a difference too.

There are other things you need to look for, too. You might not have a fussy baby from a lack of, but rather what 's in excess! A colicky baby is going to want to nurse more often. The sucking is soothing and helps to move some of the gas.

The most important thing is that you don't give up! The first 4 weeks are the hardest. But you can do this mama!!! This short time of pain, and anxiety will pass, and with it you will create a lifetime!!!! This next year or two will be the thing that help to build the foundation of the next 90 years of your little guys life.

You are strong, you are beautiful, you have created and grown and birthed this amazing little being!!!!! YOU did that!!!!! And just like those things, your body was made to do this. Trust yourself, mama!!!

Don't feel bad that you choose to supplement him. Just remember you want to help your body adjust. So try to keep to a minimum if you can, or choose to.

We're here for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mrsrayray]

aw, i wish i lived in chicago, i'd give you my extra milk! i haven't even had ryan yet but when i had my first, i always had bags of milk in the freezer, and i even threw some away. (i always had too much).

i wish i could help.

[clintonhillmama]

please try not to feel like a bad mama, or a failure or anything negative - which i know is incredibly hard when you're frustrated and hormonal! you're doing the best you can, and you can't be expected to do any more.

at the risk of being flamed, formula is not poison. i know, i know - breastmilk is best. but lots and lots of babies are formula fed (myself being one of them!) and turn out wonderfully. ds1 got both breastmilk and some formula- when i went back to work, i couldn't always pump enough for a full day's supply- and i felt sooooo guilty. i also watched some of my girlfriends struggle with BF issues, and i came to the conclusion that expending precious energy in the newborn phase on wrangling a hospital pump, doing SNS, etc may be more detrimental to the moms mentally and physically that it's worth. if you feel like all you're doing is nursing and pumping and nursing and pumping, you feel exhausted. i know i did when i was trying to build a freezer stash with my son.

a couple of things that have helped me and my friends IRL are seeing an acupuncturist who can prescribe herbs - there are specific milk boosting formulas. the other thing that helped me was switching pumps - i was using a pump in style and then got an avent hand pump - the avent was much more efficient at getting my milk out.

i feel for you, but you're a champ for persisting - let us know how it's going and know we're here for you!!!!

[transformed]

Don't feel bad. You know what your baby needs.

Trust that.

If its formula, so be it.

[starry_mama]

I agree with Transformed. This is very clearly NOT a case of you not nursing enough, therefore CREATING a low supply. Every drop of breastmilk is wonderful and a gift. If you want to try and get more breastmilk, maybe you could try posting in your FYT section and see if there are any mamas with extra breastmilk in their freezer. X100000000

[YummyYumYumMama]

you're an awesome mom. how many women wouldn't even try to BF in your shoes? how many would have given up by now? you totally rock and he is lucky to have such a caring mama!

someone had posted a link once for formula you can make yourself that's a step above what's there in the stores. i'll look for it later this afternoon and see if i can find it.

[starry_mama]

Here is a bunch of recipes - http://www.westonaprice.org/children/recipes.html

[erica990]

I'm sorry you're feeling bad. Enjoy your sweet baby. What he needs most is parents who love him, and he sounds like he has that.

[Mindi22]

Not in your DDC, but I couldn't help but respond.

I'm sorry that you're having so much trouble. Just so you know, how much you are able to pump can mean squat in terms of what baby is actually getting on the breast. I was never able to pump much with DS, but when he was actually nursing, it was all good. So don't go by how much you can pump as a guide.

And if you have to supplement, you have to. It's hard to admit that it's not going the way you planned it, but you've already passed that hump, now it's down to just accepting it and doing what you can. And you are doing that! Yes, low milk supply is rare, but you have the history of breast surgery, which can affect your supply. And I agree that it would have been great if your options had been discussed with you fully at the time. I'm sorry that it wasn't.

Also, there is a site called milkshare that you might be able to find someone in your area with extra milk. It's not tested like milk from a milk bank, but it can be an option if you find someone you're comfortable with.

HTH, and be kind to yourself. Stress can have the effect of lowering your supply and your let down, so be as gentle and pampering of yourself as you can!

[MCKH]

Please. Stop. Everything is fine. Even if you need to supplement. Your baby will thrive and be perfect and healthy. You need to stop beating yourself up because every negative thought is taking away from the beautiful experience that is the newborn period and you are not going to get this time back. You do your best and that's all you can do - get off the internet and stop reading about 4th best. You know what is like 50th best? You being a wreck. So call a good LC, pump, nurse, supplement if you need to (you can use an SNS if you don't want to use bottles) and enjoy your baby. Formula is not in and of itself a bad thing - it was made for a reason - because there are some babies that need it. Yours is probably one of those babies. Seriously, you are doing a great job.

[VickV]

Oh Karen, *please* don't beat yourself up over this. {{hugs}}

Originally Posted by clintonhillmama

at the risk of being flamed, formula is not poison. i know, i know - breastmilk is best. but lots and lots of babies are formula fed (myself being one of them!) and turn out wonderfully.

She's totally right. Formula is NOT poison - breast is best, but formulas these days are damn close to the same thing and provide what your sweet baby needs to be big, strong, healthy and smart. You are NOT a failure, and you are NOT a horrible mother.

[mandalin24kd]

Damn close to the same thing?????????? I'm sorry, could you explain that one?

Why are you guys focusing so much on "it's okay", "when you can do it", is probably going to do her a lot more good. Sitting at her elbow, saying just give him the bottle, isn't going to help her achieve her goal! And it sounds like she wants to breastfeed, not bottle!!!

No, she should not feel bad that she supplemented him. And now that it's done with, maybe she needs some breast support?

[VickV]

They model formula after breastmilk - so it's damn close. In case ya hadn't noticed, this is a support thread, not a debate thread. I agree breast is best, but if a momma can't breastfeed, she deserves our support.

[Ms. B. Sprout]

Originally Posted by mandalin24kd

Damn close to the same thing?????????? I'm sorry, could you explain that one?

Why are you guys focusing so much on "it's okay", "when you can do it", is probably going to do her a lot more good. Sitting at her elbow, saying just give him the bottle, isn't going to help her achieve her goal! And it sounds like she wants to breastfeed, not bottle!!!

No, she should not feel bad that she supplemented him. And now that it's done with, maybe she needs some breast support?

In case you hadn't noticed, this is OUR DDC, and we KNOW her, and this is a SUPPORT thread. And she's BFAR, for christ's sake. Did you even READ the OP?

Go proselytize elsewhere. There are plenty of boards on MDC where that will be welcome.

Some people.

[starry_mama]

Originally Posted by mandalin24kd

Damn close to the same thing?????????? I'm sorry, could you explain that one?

Why are you guys focusing so much on "it's okay", "when you can do it", is probably going to do her a lot more good. Sitting at her elbow, saying just give him the bottle, isn't going to help her achieve her goal! And it sounds like she wants to breastfeed, not bottle!!!

No, she should not feel bad that she supplemented him. And now that it's done with, maybe she needs some breast support?

We have been in the same DDC with Karen for 9 months. She had BREAST SURGERY. Did you even read her OP? This is not a case of mama got overwhelmed, gave baby formula, supply dropped, vicious cycle. BREAST SURGERY. BREAST SURGERY.

[starry_mama]

I see I cross posted with Ms. B Sprout - great minds think alike!

[kerrybennysmama]

I so feel for you. With my first I geared myself up for breastfeeding by reading all the horrors about formula. Well my son wouldnt latch and I ended up pumping a lot and using formula, and by 3 months my milk dried up. When I first gave him the formula, I cried, I didnt want to tell anyone. I actually felt ashamed. I too read all about the health stuff and totally scared myself and felt like a bad mother.

You are not a bad mother!! You are not a failure!! Any amount of breastmilk that baby gets is beneficial and you need to hold onto that. As mothers we do the best we can for our babies and it sounds like you are doing that. Some people wouldnt have even attempted all the pumping, but you have. My 4 year old was only breastfed until 3 months and not exclusively either. He has always been very healthy, smart, kind, etc. Every drop of that breastmilk you give him will go a long way. I always kept telling myself that with my son. Know that what is most important is that this baby is loved, regardless of how he is fed. He will be okay and so will you. Its really hard to deal with all of this when you are feeling so hormonal as well. Hang in there

[Elsaraw]

That's the jerkiest thing I've ever seen on here.
This is a due date club and we've been together a long time and we support and care for each other. We know what she's gone through to get to this point.
Go find someone else to be an a*&^ole to.

Originally Posted by mandalin24kd

Damn close to the same thing?????????? I'm sorry, could you explain that one?

Why are you guys focusing so much on "it's okay", "when you can do it", is probably going to do her a lot more good. Sitting at her elbow, saying just give him the bottle, isn't going to help her achieve her goal! And it sounds like she wants to breastfeed, not bottle!!!

No, she should not feel bad that she supplemented him. And now that it's done with, maybe she needs some breast support?