s/o: supporting an emetaphobic child

[Katie Bugs Mama]

My 7yo DD is extremely emetaphobic, and I'm at my wit's end. I just don't know what to do to help her.

Today she was afraid to go to school because she was worried that someone might throw up. She dropped out of ballet classes because one little girl kept saying that her stomach hurt. If she hears one of our pets cough or gag or anything, she comes running in yelling "is she OK? Is she OK?" When one of her classmates coughed really hard and gagged, DD freaked out and started screaming and shaking. I've warned all of her teachers about this and tell them that it is an actual, diagnosed phobia, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle in the moment when she is getting hysterical.

She saw a therapist recommended by her pediatrician for several months and that helped some. The most helpful part is that he got her to explain that she is afraid that, when someone throws up, it means that they are going to die.

Now that we know this, we can rationally explain to her that 1) no one dies from throwing up and 2) it isn't her job to worry about other people's health. We also talk to her about the time that her best friend got a horrible stomach flu while we were visiting. Her friend was violently ill for days but is just fine now, 2 years later. Kate understands these things intellectually and rationally, but phobias aren't about intellect and rationality. In the moment, when the phobia kicks in, intellect and rationality are out the door, and the poor little thing is a quivering, crying, screaming mess.

Her therapist suggested that we consider zoloft for anxiety, but she is so little and that is such a serious drug. OTOH, DH has pretty severe anxiety issues himself, and I have depression tinged with a bit of anxiety. Maybe with these genes, medication is inevitable for DD? I don't know.

I would greatly appreciate any advice that you all could give me on how to help dd. Should we continue to just reassure her and hope for the best? Should we consider drugs? Should we try a different therapist? (I was thinking of a behavioral therapy, since that went a long way towards helping dh deal with some of his anxiety.)

Please help!

[AnyMama]

have you tried homeopathy? It can work really well for phobias. There might be a bach floral remedy addressing phobia, but I would suggest seeing a classical homeopath and getting a specific remedy for your child. Much gentler than zoloft.

[Bearsmama]

The good news is that psychology/psyhciatry know sooooo much more about phobias and OCD and things of this nature then they did even 10 years ago. I would consider going back to therapy. I know this has helped a young woman I know that has had severe phobias (she is a teen). I know medication is a real issue with someone as young as your dd, but just tuck that information in the back of your head. Genes do play a big part in all of this. And perhaps the therapy can help her get out of this current bad phase. Just wanted to offer a , too.

Oh, and I'm editing to add here that there are therapists that specialize in phobias, too.

[3*is*magic]

I can tell you are really worried .

Maybe hypnotism would help?

[tootersmom]

If it were me, I would look into a different therapist/therapy before medication. My sister is a pediatric behavioral therapist (although she works mostly with autistic and MR kids) and I know there are several different kinds of therapy techniques a trained professional could implement that might help, but it all takes time.

Do you feel like she needs the medication now?

Medications like this just scare the crap out of me, especially in regards to children. I'm sorry she is going through this, it sounds really awful for all of you. I hope you find a solution very soon.

[MPsSweetie]

I am emetephobic. I have been for as long as I can remember. And nothing has ever helped me. I was in therapy and on medication, nothing. Finally they told me the only thing I could do was to avoid it as much as possible. Which is NOT easy btw. People think you are a horrible person when you don't want to be around sick people, which I think is so stupid. We have absolutely NO control over it. Its not like someone who is afraid of heights, so they don't go up high! Or flying, or whatever.

I had a terrible time in school because of it. I was agoraphobic for a time, in fact I'm kind of heading that direction now, ugh.

I wish I could think of something that would make it all better for her, me too for that matter.

Use a white noise machine, should anyone get sick at night. Turn it up LOUD.
Don't make her stay around anyone sick, let her leave immediately. Doesn't matter who is sick. Family, friends, etc.. It doesn't matter what causes it, whether its contagious or not, its still the most terrifying thing in the world.
I also couldn't be around anyone who said they felt sick, ever. I remember each and every time. I can also hear it across a crowded room, when someone whispers that they feel bad. Its awful. I feel so bad for your little girl. I have near constant anxiety. My heart feels like its vibrating I get so scared.

Sorry, that was probably no help at all, but I just wanted to let you know what its like from her side. I hope she can get some relief from it.

Oh and btw, exposure does NOT help in this case. It makes it far worse.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I'm emetaphobic and the only thing that has helped me is to be immersed in it while taking ativan then slowly tapering the ativan while continuing to be immersed in an environment where people are throwing up daily. I guess thats desensitization

However, if years go by and I am not exposed to it, the phobia returns, and I have to kinda get desensitized again.

[tm2840]

I have no great solution or advice, just sympathy. Emetaphobia reared its ugly head for me in about third grade - and I've battled it (with some success) ever since.

I can so relate to your DD, and how this affects her life. (As an aside I missed 28 days of school in one QUARTER in 8th grade - it took me years to understand the quadratic equation!).

My only advice is to try many avenues of support and therapy. Strangely, the thing that has worked the best for me was a series of stomach bugs that I lived through (obviously!) and it wasn't so bad. With the help of Ativan (it dissolves immediately and works super fast, so at the first sign of "omg i'm gonna barf!" you can take it and have it help. Zoloft helps me with my generalized anxiety but not emetophobia.

Let me know if you want to "chat" and I'll be happy to PM with you!

Traci

[MPsSweetie]

Hmmm, what is ativan, sounds like something I need!

[angelpie545]

My daughter has phobias, and right now, this is her latest one, the fear of throwing up. It all started when her sister woke up in the middle of the night with the stomach flu and vomited all over her from the top bunk. Since then, Destiny has be terrified of anything vomiting, even if it's the cat hacking up a hairball. I mean TERRIFIED..just like the OP describes, shaking, trembling, screaming, running away, ext. It happened once at school and she actually had to be removed from the the classroom because of it. We have chosen right now not to mess with medications, because we feel that way because she is so young, and the chance of her growing out of this phobia or her reactions lessening are good. As she grows older and is able to understand her panic issues better, it may help her deal with them. I have panic disorder myself and I handle it quite well as an adult, because I know what it is and what causes it. We talk with her openly about her fear, but we are also very careful not to feed into it and to tell her that in some cases, she will need to face her fear. Also, kids aren't always able to articulate side effects from a medication very accurately, and I know at least for me, sedatives have a tendency to make me feel out of control and out of my body, therefore causing me to even freak out more. I'm not sure that I would have tolerated that very well as a child. If I were ever to try medication with my daughter, I would do so only when needed, and continue with whatever therapy had been receiving.

I do agree with possibly seeing a naturapath or homeopath, or perhaps trying some Rescue Remedy.

[Katie Bugs Mama]

Thank you for all of the support and suggestions! It helps a lot.

Let's see, for starters, we're definitely **not** going to do Zoloft yet. She's only barely 7 yo, which is waaaay to young to start messing with her brain chemistry. Zoloft has been a miracle drug for me, but I started as an adult. Maybe much later, if nothing else helps with her anxiety, we will consider medication, but not now.

After talking about it with dh and reading the responses here, I'm going to try to get her an appointment with a behavioral psychiatrist. I have a recommendation for one, but I wasn't able to get dd an appointment before, so we started seeing someone else. Behavioral therapy is the approach that helped dh with his overwhelming fear of driving, so maybe it will help dd too. (I taught dd to drive when he was 26, but he didn't drive more than twice a year until he got therapy 10 years later.)

I'm also going to keep emphasizing to her that people do not die from throwing up and that it's not her responsibility to worry about other children's health. There's such a fine line between reassuring her, on the one hand, and overemphasizing the issue, on the other hand, that it's kind of tricky. I mean, I want to validate her feelings, but that's difficult when her feelings are irrational and out of proportion with the situation.

I worry so much that this particular phobia could easily lead to agoraphobia. I don't want her to isolate herself and miss opportunities to do things that she would enjoy and/or benefit from because she is scared that someone is going to throw up. That's really my biggest concern.

Maybe I should just get pregnant again. With dd, I threw up at least once a day for a solid 8 months. If that happened again, it would either cure her of her phobia or push her all the way over the edge.

[Katie Bugs Mama]

n/m

[Katie Bugs Mama]

n/m

[Bearsmama]

Ativan is a quick-acting anti-anxiety drug--sort of like Zanax. I have friend who has used this particular drug after a going through a horrible/traumatic time and it has helped her tremendously.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Originally Posted by Bearsmama

Ativan is a quick-acting anti-anxiety drug--sort of like Zanax. I have friend who has used this particular drug after a going through a horrible/traumatic time and it has helped her tremendously.

Its also very addictive, and you want to get off as soon as possible, but it sure did help me deal with my emetophobia. Its also not something prescribed for children on a regular basis though (although sometimes given to post-puberty children for occasional events like dental visits).

[eggplant]

Originally Posted by MPsSweetie

I am emetephobic. I have been for as long as I can remember. And nothing has ever helped me. I was in therapy and on medication, nothing. Finally they told me the only thing I could do was to avoid it as much as possible. Which is NOT easy btw. People think you are a horrible person when you don't want to be around sick people, which I think is so stupid. We have absolutely NO control over it. Its not like someone who is afraid of heights, so they don't go up high! Or flying, or whatever.
....
Oh and btw, exposure does NOT help in this case. It makes it far worse.

I'm sorry they suggested avoidance to you, since the research is pretty clear that avoidance is one of the things that most strongly maintains fears. And exposure (as in exposure therapy, not just any random exposure to vomiting) is really clearly the treatment of choice for specific phobias.

Katie-bug's mom: I think it's great that you're looking for a behavior therapist for her - exposure therapy is not only really effective, but also usually works pretty quickly, as you start off usually with easier things and then move on to harder ones as you master the easier ones (so the harder ones by then don't even seem as hard).

Good luck!