Wow that's amazing!! Congratulations! She is beautiful!!!
post #361 of 393
1/31/08 at 7:55pm
So glad to hear that you're home and healthy!
Want my pop psychology? Of course you do.
I think losing the placenta is a symbol of everything that went wrong with this birth, and all of your feelings regarding the hospital. You lost your homebirth, you had to fight daily for some measure of the sort of birth that you'd dreamed of, and in the end, you got it... but that doesn't quite make it as good as a wonderful birth that just happens. You were consistently disrespected; your feelings, your knowledge, your body, your health.
So, I think that them throwing out your placenta was one more case of them disrespecting your wishes, and you losing a little piece of the birth you'd envisioned. Of course you're upset about that. I would be surprised if you just shrugged it off!
But try to remember that this placenta IS part of the bigger picture. The picture where you were treated like crap. So when you cry over the placenta, remember that you're crying over ALL of it: the hospital stay, the staff, the NST's, the emotions surrounding it all.
If anything, you won't feel so pathetic.
And... you ARE post-partum. Cry, whine and complain. You're totally allowed.
Keep doing what you're doing with the breastfeeding! I can SO feel your pain about finger-feeding--it seems to take forever and your arm is all crooked in a weird position. But I think it really does help them learn to suck and doesn't interfere with bf'ing the way bottles can. Do you have a Hazelbaker or a finger syringe? I think a Hazelbaker is easier. Also I'm sure you've tried this but thought I'd mention it--have you tried squishing your nipple (some call it a nipple "sandwich") to make it easier for her to latch?