Homeschooling after Starting Public School?

[mirlow]

I have always been intrigued with home schooling and lately I've been seriously considering doing it. First of all I am not interested in doing home school just so I can be with my kids all day. One of my main reasons of home schooling is that I believe that the schools are too focused on test scores. I chose my children's elementary school because it did have good test scores, but it wasn't one of the best. Now our scores are getting better and there is more pressure on keeping the good scores. My oldest is in 3rd grade and they are one of the groups getting tested. We also started school last week. I am totally against starting before Labor Day. They are starting them early so they have more time to prepare for TESTS!!!! I also picked the school because it had some great diversity and now we don't have as much diversity as we once had. There is a wait list to get choiced into our school. The parents are really involved, and many are very good friends, but there is too much involvement if you know what I mean. My ds has a kindergarten teacher who is not nurturing at all, it's all about rules with her. He cried the first 2 days until I pulled him from going all day.
I would like to home school to take away that pressure and to have a more relaxed environment. I feel that my 8 yr old learns more with hands on teaching. What I'm hesitant about is that this summer it was very hard for me to motivate her to read. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly nagging her to get her work done. I'm worried that since she is use to going to school it will be hard for her to take me serious? I'm also concerned about being home with them all day long every day. Now I have been a SAHM for over 8 yrs and I've got to tell you I really enjoyed just having it be my 2 yr old dd and myself this week. I think we are a family that does much better if we all get a break now and then from each other.
I know I complained about the parents and it is true there are too many who want to run the show at the school, but the truth remains many our great friends and I enjoy talking with them on the playground and at other school functions. I worry about not only my kids not being around other kids, but I'm going to miss it as well. From what I have been reading there are many home school groups. How does that exactly work? Is it hard to find secular groups?
One other reason we might be homeschooling is that we are planning on moving to the Philadelphia area next year. My kids are only partially vaxed and I don't know how hard it is to get a religious exemption, so we might not have any option. Plus it's putting we have to decide where to live based on the schools.
Any input would be greatly appreciated

[phathui5]

There are a lot of different ways to homeschool. You could:

* Have your kids in school part-time and teach them at home the other days.

* Totally homeschool and use a co-op program for homeschoolers, maybe also some classes at the YMCA.

* Find another homeschooling mom who will take your kids one day a week and you take hers. That way the kids spend time with other kids and you each get a break.

* You can homeschool one of your kids and send the other to school.

The list goes on...

Also, maybe it's just me, but if you can't get your son a better teacher, I would homeschool him at least for this year.

On groups, there are all different kinds of homeschool groups. Some of them have classes that kids can take, field trips, Boy and Girl Scout troops, support and info for parents, etc. One of the biggest ones in my area is secular-based. It's called the Columbia Homeschool Community. You can find homeschool groups in each state here:
http://www.gomilpitas.com/homeschool...nal/Region.htm
I'm sure that doesn't list them all, but it can give you a place to start.

[cottonwood]

All you've said about the benefits of homeschooling is true. It sounds like the main thing holding you back is 1) fear of not having opportunities to socialize, and 2) not really wanting your kids around all day? I think the second is really important to come to terms with -- if you feel for the sake of family harmony that you really need that break from the kids, it might be best for all concerned for them to go to school. In that case you could look into alternative schools, in which the focus is away from testing.

The first concern I think is also valid because with school comes a ready-set community. Without school you have to work on creating one of your own. For us that hasn't really been an issue because we have family and friends that we live close to, and I don't feel like anything else is necessary, although I know that there are homeschooling groups in the area and lots of activities specifically for homeschoolers if we should decide we want more socializing in our lives.

About your daughter's reading habits, the best thing you could do would be to provide her with reading materials (letting her pick out her own) and then leave her alone. It's a well-known psychological phenomenon that when people are nagged to do something, or even when they simply feel that they are supposed to do it, the pressure and loss of freedom squashes out any natural desire to do it, so of course they resist and decide they don't like it and eventually even maybe rebel. Think about how you end up feeling about something when you choose to do it yourself, and when others choose (and enforce) it for you.

You might be afraid that if you don't enforce it she won't do it. But this is unrealistic. When you have the space and time to decide for yourself whether something has value for you, and you then find that it does, you will seek it out. Reading is valuable. People who are free inevitably figure that out.

[Dar]

The idea of people homeschooling "just so I can be with my kids all day" sort of hits me badly - it sounds like you have the idea that many people homeschool because of their own desire to hold on to their kids and not let them spread their wings. I don't know anyone who homeschools mainly so they can be aorund their kids all day, although most homeschooling parents I know do find that they really do enjoy being with their kids - and once you settle into a routine, it seem that being wth your kids all day becomes easier and more enjoyable, and you learn to live with each other in a more casual way...

Everyone we live, there have been a lot of secular homeschooled kids around, especially younger kids. It's just a matter of finding them and getting to know them, which may take some time. Long-time homeschoolers aren't alway jumping up and down excited to meet new homeschoolers. Some of the reason seems to be that schooledkids often bring negative school-stuff with them (exclusionary "clubs", boyfriend/girlfriend stuff in preadolscents, not including younger kids, etc) and some of it is that often you spend the time and energy to help someone adjust to homeschooling and they turn around in a few months and decide to do the school thing again. That gets wearing after a while. People who are patient, and who actually try to contribuet and not just take, generally integrate fairly quickly.

Rain also has a fair number of homeschooled friends, mostly kids she's met through theater. They're mostly nice kids, and she has fun with them, although they're not availbale during school hours so she doesn't get to play with them as much.

As far as nagging your daughter to get her work done, I'd suggest a period of deschooling, where you just relax a bit, adjust to not-schooling, figure out where you want to go and where she wants to go, try some things out, and just keep it really low-key. Take a few months, talk to people, read, watch and listen to your kids... there's no hurry at all.

Dar

[mirlow]

The idea of people homeschooling "just so I can be with my kids all day" sort of hits me badly - it sounds like you have the idea that many people homeschool because of their own desire to hold on to their kids and not let them spread their wings.

I'm not sure why I came across as someone who thinks homeschoolers want to be in total control of their kids. Maybe I should have worded my reasoning better? I gather from reading this board that people homeschool/unschool so that they can be the best teacher/nurturer their kids can have. I don't think that there is anything wrong with that at all The only people I know personally that homeschool is my dh's brother. They are homeschooling for religious reasons. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my reasoning for homeschooling for my family would be based on my experiences with the public school system. I didn't start out wanting to homeschool, but I am looking into it because of my dissatisfaction with the school system? I'm not sure if I'm making sense?
I want to thank you all for your input. This is a big step, if we do go through with it. It's something that I have been thinking about a lot. Hearing your input helps me clear up issues or uncertainty. A part of me is totally overwhelmed.
blueviolet, you've got me thinking about my social issues. I thought about how are social plate is filled mostly by school friends, but if we did homeschool that plate could be filled by friends from church and neighbors and so on. I'm just thinking about when we move next year we won't know anyone but my sister. We are a very social family. We enjoy the time by ourselves, but we also like to interact with others.
You all are so right about my dd. I think I'm just worried about myself being a good teacher?

It's just a matter of finding them and getting to know them, which may take some time. Long-time homeschoolers aren't alway jumping up and down excited to meet new homeschoolers. Some of the reason seems to be that schooledkids often bring negative school-stuff with them (exclusionary "clubs", boyfriend/girlfriend stuff in preadolscents, not including younger kids, etc) and some of it is that often you spend the time and energy to help someone adjust to homeschooling and they turn around in a few months and decide to do the school thing again. That gets wearing after a while.

This doesn't sound encouraging if you are new to homeschooling. I guess it's just about finding the right mix: phathui5 thanks for the link. I did find a Unitarian ( our religion) email group and that might help too.

[ShannonCC]

Mirlow, for the record, I haven't had problems meeting homeschooling friends. Physical distance is a problem sometimes but once we get together the homeschoolers I've met have not been any more or less welcoming than "regular" moms (what's regular? :LOL). I guess it's who you meet.