So nursing makes my skin crawl..REALLY

[cutekid]

I have posted before about my HUGE aversion to nursing my 3.5 year old DS a few months ago. In taht time I have seriously cut back on nursing. He's only allowed to nurse at naps and bedtime. I try to let him nurse for one minute on each side but sometimes the sensation his latch causes I cannot let him nurse for the whole minute.
I am getting pressure from my DP to either keep nursing iwth no limits which is what my DS has done until a month or so ago, or wean altogether. My DP doesn't like to see our DS cry for nursing and neither do I but I CANNOT STAND IT. I don't know what happened that nursing would suddenly make my skin crawl. It just started happening one day out of the blue.

support, ideas...

Denise

[fuller2]

Maybe your body is trying to tell you something? What is your gut feeling about this? (separated from what anyone else wants, including your son)

[alegna]

First the list of -just in cases-

are you hydrated enough?
could you be pregnant?

Then... would weaning totally stop the crying to nurse? I know my nearly 3.5yr dd has a long enough memory and a wide enough stubborn streak that the crying would keep up LONG after the nursing stopped.



good luck!

-Angela

[cutekid]

I am not pregnant. AF showed this morning. As for hydration I hadn't considered that. I usually neglect that fact. Could that have an effect on the way nursing feels.
I know that the crying for nursing wouldn't stop. The other night my DS was out of his wits to nurse 20 minutes after our bedtime session. I held him and talked to him and tried to soothed him. That night was also one of the times I couldn't let him nurse for a long time on either side. I assured him he would get to nurse in the morning. He did settle down eventually, but all the while I have my DP going JUST NURSE THE KID. The next morning my DS didn't even let the sun get all the way before he asked to nurse. He was happy the sun was up and i was happy to comply for two minutes.

This isn't the way envisioned CLW at all. I had no idea that suddenly one day nursing my son would give me the hibby jibbies. My feelings are something I feel guilty about. I don't want to nurse in these conditions anymore. I wish there were something I could do to make it less icky feeling.

[alegna]

Try more water. A lot of moms report that when they're slightly dehydrated nursing drives them batty.

Easy enough to try.

wishing you a peaceful solution.



-Angela

[hipumpkins]

Could AF be the culprit? Ovulation and my period totally made nursing even more unbearable then it already was for me.

[cutekid]

AF isn't the reason that nursing makes my skin crawl. The feeling has been going on for near three months. I really think it has to do with my DS's latch. I have tried drinking more water. Today he only nursed a bed time because we were out when he took his nap. I cannot tell if that is helping just yet and I will keep you guys updated.

Denise

[lyttlewon]

This started happening when I got pregnant with DS. My milk totally disappeared after about 8 weeks and dry nursing hurt. DD had slowly begun forgetting to nurse before I was pregnant, I started having latch problems around her 3rd birthday, and it progressivly worsened. It could be the latch. I have found that a bad latch is more "stimulating" for lack of a better word. The sensation is weird and really uncomfortable.

[Destinye]

I agree about the water, but also homeopathy may help like Sepia for example.

[ChristinesKids]

Hello,
I’m new here but would love to say something.
Nursing is a mutual relationship between mother and child. LLL stats that breastfeeding should continue as long as the relationship is desired by both mother and child. If you are nursing beyond what you are comfortable with then you are not doing either one of you any good. He can tell that something is wrong when he latches on and you tense up.
If you have ruled out dehydration, PMS or pregnancy, ovulation or anything else someone else might have suggested then maybe it is time for you. Everyone is different just as every baby is different. You need to do what is best for you and your family.
Personal history about me: my first two babies I was unsuccessful breastfeeding mainly due to bad medial staff and no support no one ever told me about LLL. With my last 4 I have been successful even with my 32 week preemie. They each nursed until the end of my first trimester with the next baby. My youngest now is 3 ½ and still nurses to bed. It does bother some of my family but they do not live in my house so I do not worry about them.
Just my .02 good luck mama

[beanma]

Try setting limits on the length of time you will nurse, but not frequency. I got a tip on MDC years ago about singing the ABC song while nursing and when the song was over then it was time to stop nursing. Works great for other things like leaving the park, etc., too. It gives them enough time to process without completely yanking the bandaid off so to speak and distracts you while your skin crawls for one minute.

[Ruthla]

His latch could have changed because his mouth is bigger. If that's the case, and there's no way to make nursing work for you anymore, then it's time to wean.

Definitely try drinking more water first to see if that helps. Checking for nutritional deficiencies is a good idea too. But if nothing helps you to feel good about the nursing, then you need to explain to DS that nursing doesnt' feel good for you anymore, and it's time to stop. I'd try to find some new ways to interact- special snuggle time, more book reading, etc. Maybe a weaning party?

[D_McG]

I am just lurking in this thread as I do not consider myself a CLW'er. My son is just 19 mos but I don't feel as though my desire to breastfeed will outlast his and am comfortable with guiding him to wean then.

I just had a question though if someone could answer. Is CLW supposed to be that the mom continues even when she is feeling like the OP? Is mom supposed to just keep on going in spite of how she feels? Just looking to understand. Thank you!

[icxcnika]

When I was pregnant with my second babe, my milk dried up partway through the pregnancy. I was still nursing my older toddler, who at the time was about 2.5 years old. He wasn't nursing every day, and mainly for comfort at naptime and bedtime, etc. Nursing was becoming irritating for me when my milk dried up, and what worked for us was for me to gently tell my toddler that he could nurse while I counted to a certain number (I forget if it was ten, fifteen, or thirty, but something like that). He was old enough to understand that, and so he would latch on and I would count out loud and he would unlatch when I was done counting (sometimes he would decide he was done even before I was done counting). I substituted extra cuddling in place of the nursing too.

Hope you find something that works for you guys!

[momma earthical]

A chiropractor, or craniosacral therapist might be able to help with your son's latch. I struggled with this with my dd, two things helped. One was a chiropractic treatment for her to free up her latch, also noting that it was worse when I ovulated and when I bled helped me cope. We also did institute the ABC song. She and I just stopped nursing at Christmas because it was no longer working for me, she's 4.5 now.

[neverdoingitagain]

I had these feelings when my dd was about a year old til she was almost 2. For me, CLO is what eventually stopped the "creepy-crawly " sensations. I wasn't taking it for that, but it was what helped

[BonMaman]

sepia for creepy crawlies?

Originally Posted by Destinye

I agree about the water, but also homeopathy may help like Sepia for example.

Interesting idea. I took sepia for nausea when I was pg w/DS2. I hadn't even thought of it for this particular challenge, which I share all too often with the OP. My older lad's latch has deteriorated so much. Sometimes it's fine, but others it's really not.

[jul511riv]

pregnancy did that to me...but so did stress.

Mama, it's okay to stop. Really and truly. It is A.O.K.

/hugs

[cutekid]

Reading the replies and support has gotten me emotional. I have always encouraged other moms to go the extra mile when it came to breastfeeding. For many moms it was just making it to a year.
I have made sure I am hydrated through out the day. I am going to try singing while nursing to distract myself and mix in even more cuddle time. We have exchanged nursing to sleep for a back rub to sleep. Although this happened because he wasn't nursing to sleep as easily anymore a few months ago.
I did take the advice of letting my DS nurse more often for a shorter time. He seems to only nurse for a few seconds when I let him nurse more often.

BRB..DS is calling

[beanma]

Originally Posted by cutekid

I did take the advice of letting my DS nurse more often for a shorter time. He seems to only nurse for a few seconds when I let him nurse more often.

BRB..DS is calling

Seemingly paradoxically when you give the okay to nursing and don't set limits as far as frequency the nurslings often don't need to nurse as frequently. It's that forbidden fruit thing I think. When the little one hears "you can't nurse right now" it just makes them more and more anxious about when they will get to nurse. If you say, "okay, have a quick nurse" they can feel reassured that mom (and nursing) is still there for them and then they don't need to nurse as long.

My dd1, B, nursed until she was almost 6 and my dd2, E, is nearly done at just turned 4. I think dd2, E, is weaning more quickly (if you can call 4 years quick!) because I have set more limits on duration and more on frequency as well. She was also more receptive to those limits. She's interested in what dd1, B, is up to and other fun things. B didn't have a fun big sister to play with and I had lots of milk for E that B could share. I think my milk has dried up at this point which is probably another factor in E weaning. B also has a more intense personality (although few would call E mellow) and just really seemed to need it more. I feel kinda bad that I'm not giving them the same, but it's been very gradual with E and she doesn't seem to have hurt feelings about it at all.