OMG I can't do this!

[transformed]

The last 2 days have been a living hell, since dh went back to work.

The 2 yr old and 4 yr old are CONSTANTLY whining, fighting, or screaming for fun.

Yesterday I tried to take everyone for a walk but it took like 45 minutes just to get the kids to put their shoes and jackets on, and by that time it was too dark for a walk.

Today I need to go to Sams to pick up diapers, and I have no idea how I am going to do it. Every time I try to do something with one of the kids, like get them dressed, the baby cries.

My children are out of control....and I understand that their world has just been shaken, but how the hell am I supposed to DO this?!?!?!?!??!?!

I am not so happy right now.

I don't know how to do this.



Jenny

PS-I cant seem to find any time to eat either, so I am eating almonds and applesauce in an attempt to stay away from sugar. Sugar is all I seem to have time for at the moment though.

[starry_mama]

Do you have a wrap mama? Leaving the house may be too much right now, maybe today could be a movie day? Can your parents or ILs come over and help entertain?

[transformed]

I need a wrap. Immedietly. I have no clue how to use one so hopefully it's something I can figure out on my own-there aren't many crunchy baby-wearin' mama's around here.

I am going to order one like NOW.

[starry_mama]

don't order one! Make one its SOOOOO easy! http://www.mamatoto.org/Default.aspx?tabid=121

[starry_mama]

I made mine and it cost $5 and I could have actually made TWO with the fabric I had (you have to cut it in half), but I ended up using the fabric for something else.

[*MamaJen*]

Oh, mama, I feel for you. I was just saying I don't know how mamas with toddlers manage a newborn.
My sister's advice was this: it's like being on an airplane that's going down. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first.
Make sure you're getting at least something in your belly. Low blood sugar makes everything worse. I hope you can get a friend or family member or somebody in there. Pick up the phone and call the first person you can think of who could come over for an hour.
s

[VickV]

{hug}

I can't imagine having three kids at this point - so the fact that you and the kids have all survived the first two days makes you a way, WAY better mom than me

I'm starting my 2 & 1/2 year old in half-day M/W/F preschool next week because it's just not working here ... she needs at least a half a day where someone isn't shushing her and parking her in front of the TV. She actually said she'd like to go for a full day, so she may be doing M/W/F all day soon. I feel like a total failure as a mom, but right now I can't offer Isabel much more than sporadic interaction and a play date here and there, and she *needs* more.

[mommy2maya]

Not in your ddc, but my biggest help when I had dd2, I gave my older kids 'jobs'. Mine were slightly older than yours are now, 5 & 2.5. But, when I gave them tasks to do, it was very helpful. Like, if we were going out, I would have one collect all of the shoes, the other collect coats/hats. Then I would help them, assembly line style, get their coats/hats/shoes on. Then one would be door holder, door shutter, etc.

Even when we weren't going anywhere, having helpers was great for all of us. I really just simplified everything for the first month or so as well. I bought juice boxes, and made up snack bags. That way they could help themselves if I needed to be nursing baby, or something else where I couldn't help them right away. The independence was wonderful for them.

[kittywitty]

[MCKH]

I'm not looking forward to DH returning to work either.
Ask for help. I was so reluctant to ask anyone to help me out with my first, and this time I know it's still going to be difficult to ask, but people really are happy to do it. We aren't meant to go this alone. It's not natural or healthy. Hang in there.

[transformed]

I feel like I ask for help too much. My mom and dad babysit for me at least once or twice a week. (But thats usually for a dr appointment or chiro or whatever)

I do need an assembly line mentality. "Change all the diapers/remind ds to go to the bathroom."

I feel like if I give the 2 kids specific jobs they are going to fight over them. (Like-if I tell ds to get the coats, dd is going to want that job, etc. They are always in a competition!)

I need to dig out Sib's without rivalry...but that is a big task in itself.

I am going to try to record a CD for myself at naptime because good music always helps me to feel more at peace.

I dont mind chaos-I just hate when it penetrates my soul! It can totally happen "out there." I just have to keep my own self peaceful and everything is ok.

[mama2rey]

I can't imagine what you are going through. Both DP and I had little breakdowns these last 2 days just dealing with one newborn! And we are two people! Granted-this little guy is fussy and we can't put him down-but I can't imagine dealing with 2 other children by myself.

DP goes back to work on Tuesday and I don't know what I am going to do!

I also second the wrap. If you go to this website:

http://www.mobywrap.com/instructions.php

You can get instructions. The newborn hug hold is wonderful-and has saved me some sanity.

I wish I lived close by-I'd come over and show you how to use a wrap!

[bumblebeej]

Oh goodness! Me with 5 kids and no advice! Maybe call your mom so you can have a bubble bath? That always helps me.

[ivymae]

I watch "John and Kate plus 8" for inspiration, haha. If she can stay sane...

[waiflywaif]

. I feel like a total failure as a mom, but right now I can't offer Isabel much more than sporadic interaction and a play date here and there, and she *needs* more.

You are doing what you know your child needs---I can't see how that translates into failure at parenting.

[SheBear]

All I can offer right now is hugs....Monday will be our first "flying without the Daddy net" day, but I have no intention of even trying to go anywhere for awhile. We have a LLL meeting on the 18th that I may try to attend, so that will be my first outing with 4 kids--if I go!

The only tip I have for getting out of the house is get EVERYTHING ready the night before--clothes for all the kids laid out on the couch (and your clothes, too!), shoes, coats, everything. Diaperbag packed, even snacks and sippy cups. Have everything all together in the same room so everyone can get dressed and ready right in your line of sight--much less chance of losing someone's shoes that way!

Simplify breakfast--PB and raisins on toast, or just grab some granola bars and a piece of fruit and let them eat in the car. We have these Gerber snack bowls (you can find them at WM/Target, etc) and I'll cut apples up the night before, store them in a sandwich bag in the fridge overnight, then divide them into the snack bowls for each kid to eat in the car. So far, no spills, and they are equally great for small crackers, raisins, etc.

My kids think that PBJ sandwiches are breakfast food! Which honestly, makes more sense to me than for lunch, but my mom thinks I'm weird for giving them PBJ for breakfast. It's great for mornings when we have to get somewhere--they all love it, it's fairly car-friendly, can be made ahead of time, won't spoil, etc....

Smoothies are also good car foods....if you don't make them too thick, they work great in sippy cups (the kind with straws, anyway). Muffins are portable, but crumbly. They don't smoosh too much into clothing/car seats or stain, but you have to deal with crumbs when you get where you are going. Boiled eggs are great if your kids like them. Mine like them, but ds2 won't eat the yolks, which do make a mess, so I just give him the white.

Breakfast is always the hardest thing for me to manage when we have to be somewhere, but I've discovered that it goes MUCH better if we don't try to sit down and eat before we go. The kids think it's great fun to eat in the car, so they are more cooperative, and really--a breakfast of boiled egg, apple slices, and granola bar isn't that bad, nutritionally speaking.

And when all of that is prepared the night before (when your dh can help you!) it makes things run so much more smoothly in the morning!

Hope this helps!

[wholewheatmama]

No advice here, as I just have the one baby. Although I do strongly second the wrap. I know they seem intimidating to learn, but the step by step instructions are good and easy to follow when you actually have the wrap to practice. I bought a Moby but also made a couple of wraps like Starry Mama suggested, and they are just as good. Iris way prefers the wrap to a sling at this point, and it makes things much easier to do around the house (and out and about for that matter) when she is wrapped up tight on my chest.

Hang in there mama. You're doing a great job! The transitioning is the hardest part.

[MCKH]

Originally Posted by transformed

I feel like I ask for help too much. My mom and dad babysit for me at least once or twice a week. (But thats usually for a dr appointment or chiro or whatever)

Is there any way you could hire a local teenager to come over after school a couple days a week? My girlfriend pays one 7 bucks an hour to come from 3-6 twice a week and one whole Saturday a month. She prepares meals for the week, cleans house, shops or just rests alone in her bedroom while the kids have a blast. Could that be an option for you? Some of my friends also send their toddlers to a home daycare provider one or two mornings a week to get a break.

[bumblebeej]

Originally Posted by MCKH

Is there any way you could hire a local teenager to come over after school a couple days a week? My girlfriend pays one 7 bucks an hour to come from 3-6 twice a week and one whole Saturday a month. She prepares meals for the week, cleans house, shops or just rests alone in her bedroom while the kids have a blast. Could that be an option for you? Some of my friends also send their toddlers to a home daycare provider one or two mornings a week to get a break.

A homeschooled teen would be perfect! They could be such a big help and can be there during the day while Dh is working.

[Code Name Mama]

i don't know how mamas of more than 1 do it!!