ap and crying

[vbactivist]

I'm curious. Who here attachment parented their infants, by the below definition, and still had a baby that cried, at least once a day.

No circ
no vax (I don't necessarily consider this AP, but can see how it might cause a baby to be 'fussy')
gentle birth
breastfeed on cue
coslept
no cio

poll coming...

You can vote once for each of your children, because we all know every baby is different

Insert 'cried at least once a day' for the word 'fussy', if you like

[EVC]

Did all of the above (except I have a girl, so circ wasn't really an issue). I did everyting "right" according to the wisdom of AP. And my daughter cried from the moment her eyes were open until the moment she fell asleep. All day, every day. She was--and is--VERY high needs. It has nothing to do with parenting style, imo, and everything to do with her personality. Some kids are just very intense. Having said that, however, I do believe that "AP" is the kindest, most appropriate response to that.

[Mrs.Bufford]

I did it all, and babycakes still cries. I don't think that a baby crying once a day makes it fussy though.

[WatermelonSnow]

I voted other. I did everything except that DS's birth was by medically necessary unplanned c-sec. Even then, the hospital and nurses were great. DS spent his first hour in his dad's arms, then was brought to me to nurse while I was still in recovery. He didn't spend one moment in the nursery.

And as an infant he had to have his late afternoon meltdown. The five o'clock witching hour. He's a sensitive boy, 8 years later this is still true, and needs to release pent up stuff. That's just him. I am still learning just how sensitive he is, both emotionally and sensorially. And as an AP mom, still educating myself as to how I can best meet his needs.

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by Mrs.Bufford

I did it all, and babycakes still cries. I don't think that a baby crying once a day makes it fussy though.

well, tbh, I don't really thinkg fussy is the right word, I was just using it for ease. I actually hate when peolpe ask, is she a good baby, because I fell like all babies are good, kwim? Crying doesn't make a baby bad or good. It just is. I guess you could insert fussy with 'cries at least once a day' and use whatever descriptor you like

[Black Orchid]

DD1 cried nonstop for over 6 months... she is really happy now, tho.

DD2 cried a few times a day. She was and is a nonstop crier... there is nothing we could do. Luckily DD1 wore me down and I just held her and didn't take it personally. At this point DD2 is doing tantrums... little burts of crying-anger when she doesn't like what is going on.

At first, I thought crying=unhappy baby, AP=no crying... but my DD1 taught me that crying is a natual part of life and to respect it instead of trying to eliminate it because it would always end up coming out at some point and it was usually worse if it was delayed.

[hottmama]

My kids sometimes cried, but I wouldn't have called either of them fussy. They only cried when they were unhappy and we could figure out what they needed (for my oldest, it was ALWAYS the boob, for my littlest, he wanted us to hold him and bounce constantly). So I voted "I did all of that and my babies were calm."
I'm assuming this is talking about young infants, of course. My kids are NOT calm now! And my youngest had a terrible time with all of his teeth, and was VERY fussy and in extreme pain when he was teething.

[LavenderMae]

My first was very high-needs and I did all the above except she was vaxed.
My second I did all the above except his hospital birth wasn't so gentle and he was partially vaxed and he was a calm/laid back baby.
My last I did all the above and he's another high-needs little one.

[gwerydd]

nak

my dd is high needs, always has been.

[tsume]

DS - tramautic birth, 5 day NICU seperation at birth, circed, No CIO, co-slept, fed on demand CALM

DD 1- did all of the above FUSSY

DD 2- did all of the above CALM

[Mrs.Bufford]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

well, tbh, I don't really thinkg fussy is the right word, I was just using it for ease. I actually hate when peolpe ask, is she a good baby, because I fell like all babies are good, kwim? Crying doesn't make a baby bad or good. It just is. I guess you could insert fussy with 'cries at least once a day' and use whatever descriptor you like

Hehe ok, I didn't think you could really think that!

[redpajama]

My son did not have a gentle birth (vac-extraction)
He was not circumsized
He received some vax
We sort of co-slept (he slept directly next to the bed in a Moses basket)
We nursed on demand
He never "cried-it-out"
He was a calm baby.

My daughter had a relatively gentle birth, although not entirely (she was suctioned after and when she didn't start up right away her cord was quickly cut and she was taken away from me for blow-by O2 in the warmer)
She received some vax
We nursed on demand
We co-slept
She never "cried-it-out"
She was a calm baby.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Ds1-
Had a rough birth. Carried him, co-slept, no cio. I did vaccinate on the dr. schedule, but I didn't know any better.
He was incredibly high needs. He had to be held, bounced, rocked, nursed constantly, and he cried the milli second I stopped.

Ds2-
Okay birth, though he had shoulder distocia. Did all the above, except delayed vac. He was pretty calm, and only cried when he had a wet diaper.

Ds3-
Bit of a rough birth. Did all of the above, except much more delayed and some refused vacs. Was very calm as a baby. Now he's my wild man!!

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by redpajama

My son did not have a gentle birth (vac-extraction)
He was not circumsized
He received some vax
We sort of co-slept (he slept directly next to the bed in a Moses basket)
We nursed on demand
He never "cried-it-out"
He was a calm baby.

My daughter had a relatively gentle birth, although not entirely (she was suctioned after and when she didn't start up right away her cord was quickly cut and she was taken away from me for blow-by O2 in the warmer)
She received some vax
We nursed on demand
We co-slept
She never "cried-it-out"
She was a calm baby.

OT: Susan, your pictures are beautiful!

[majazama]

my first almost never cried. She was/is raised totally AP style. She would just whimper if she needed me... like she knew crying was too much.. lol

[NiteNicole]

Are there really people who think if you do everything just right, your child will never cry?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..whew, let me catch my breath.

[greenmagick]

I did everything but gentle birth (both ended up csection ) DD was fussy, very sensitive, hated transitions (even picking her up or switching positions could cause a melt down) etc. My ds was a bit fussy for the first several weeks, but even when fussy, he was still calmer. When Lilah would melt down, that was it..everything turned into a complete meltdown. Cian would pull himself out if it much quicker. Now he's only fussy when tired, hungry, or needing a change. (well except for the car, but we wont count that).

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

Are there really people who think if you do everything just right, your child will never cry?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..whew, let me catch my breath.

[wonderwahine]

the only things we didnt do, was gentle birth (hospital induced epi birth, but he labored down and was very calm at birth, and unfortunatly we vaxed for the first 6mths.

ds was high needs from day one, he cried ALOT!

[alegna]

I hardly think crying once a day counts as fussy

-Angela