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ap and crying - Page 4

Poll Results: ap and crying

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 20% (93)
    I did all of the below and my baby was 'calm'
  • 28% (126)
    I did all of the below and my baby was 'fussy'
  • 24% (109)
    I did some of the below and my baby was 'calm'
  • 20% (92)
    I did some of the below and my baby was 'fussy'
  • 2% (10)
    I did none of the below and my baby was 'calm'
  • 0% (3)
    I did none of the below and my baby was 'fussy'
  • 3% (14)
    Other...
447 Total Votes  
post #61 of 112
You're right, thekimballs. I was using AP/NFL as shorthand for the items on the op's poll.
post #62 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekimballs View Post
Since when does AP mean no circ, no vax, gentle birth? AP generally involves preparation for birth, but nobody gets thrown out of the AP club for having a c-section. NFL, which is a little more "restrictive," often means no circ no vax, but AP both from Sears and the API have NOTHING to do with circ or vax.

I did the things that actually are AP on that list, and my kids have varied widely.

I dont actually consider vaxxing ap either, but I can see hwo it might cause crying (even after the initial poke). csection has been proven to cause long term crying. not circing is most definitely ap, I would say no hitting would include no cutting....

FWIW, this is a spinoff from another thread where a poster was saying that she does all the ap things and her baby is sooo calm, whereas other children she knows who are not ap'd aer 'fussy'. I've found that I have aped all my kids, but some are fussy (for lask of a better term) and some aren't. I wanted to see what others have found. Mypoint is, that no matter what parenting style you use, kids are born with their very own personalities,,and a lot of how they act has less to do with you than with them.
post #63 of 112
Thread Starter 
and i agree about noone getting thrown out of the ap 'club' for a csec - sometimes it is the safest way to have a baby

but as i said above, it was more to determine what causes crying.
post #64 of 112
I did "some" with 2 and they were fussy. I did "some" with 3 and they were calm. But I could only vote for 2.
post #65 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekimballs View Post
Since when does AP mean no circ, no vax, gentle birth? AP generally involves preparation for birth, but nobody gets thrown out of the AP club for having a c-section. NFL, which is a little more "restrictive," often means no circ no vax, but AP both from Sears and the API have NOTHING to do with circ or vax.

I did the things that actually are AP on that list, and my kids have varied widely.
Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:

Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
Feed with Love and Respect
Respond with Sensitivity
Use Nurturing Touch
Engage in Nighttime Parenting
Provide Consistent Loving Care
Practice Positive Discipline
Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

I would say that circing is most definitely not nurturing touch.
post #66 of 112
My first was very high needs and a super fussy, grumpy baby.

My second was a dream boat.
post #67 of 112
I've done all of that and I find that all babies are different. Some are just more high needs. Eva was and still is very spirited, and cried a lot. She is very intense with her emotions.

The other two have (so far, since the youngest is not quite 6 months) are really mellow, and my first one almost never cried. They are both really happy and gentle. Cora cries if she wakes up and no one is there, or if she has had enough of sitting on her own and wants me, but she stops once I pick her up. Unlike Eva, who just seemed to be really demanding and fussy.
post #68 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds View Post
My first was very high needs and a super fussy, grumpy baby.

My second was a dream boat.
See thats the way it should be - my first was the dream baby and I thought it was because I was such a stellar parent LOL. Then I was in for a real shock with my second!
post #69 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
I would say that circing is most definitely not nurturing touch.
No doubt. It's also one of the most detached things I can think of that parents do to a newborn.

I don't consider leaving newborn boys with all there genitalia an AP or NFL thing but a humane thing. Most people I know who don't circ or neither AP or NFL. But I do have a hard time understanding why parents who believe in AP would ever circumcise, it does seem contradictory. Of course not talking about religious circ or uneducated (about circ) parents but parents who know circumcision is unnecessary and painful.
post #70 of 112
I think a lot of it is the child's personality.. I had my eldest almost 16 years ago when I was 19 and everything I did was mainstream, just didn't know any better. Yet he was and is a calm child (never fussed much, just mellow), now dd who is 2.5 I swung 180 degrees in the opposite direction and went AP. At 2.5 she still needs to be carried to sleep, cried and fussed like a banshee, was and still is in arms all the time. Need less to say I am less inclined to say doing XYZ on the AP list will make for a nice calm kid cuz if that is the case why hasn't dd gotten the memo yet.

In the end I practice AP because it seems most respectful to me and I beleive in it and beleive me having been the mainstream Mama with my son, there are days where I am ready to pull my hair out because it feels like dd requires so much more going this path yet I truly believe its her personality.

Shay
post #71 of 112
my first was such a happy baby. My second...well...she sure is loved, but she's a fussy little thing.
post #72 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by EVC View Post
Did all of the above (except I have a girl, so circ wasn't really an issue). I did everyting "right" according to the wisdom of AP. And my daughter cried from the moment her eyes were open until the moment she fell asleep. All day, every day. She was--and is--VERY high needs. It has nothing to do with parenting style, imo, and everything to do with her personality. Some kids are just very intense. Having said that, however, I do believe that "AP" is the kindest, most appropriate response to that.
nice response. my first was same.


I also agree with thekimballs:

Quote:
Since when does AP mean no circ, no vax, gentle birth? AP generally involves preparation for birth, but nobody gets thrown out of the AP club for having a c-section. NFL, which is a little more "restrictive," often means no circ no vax, but AP both from Sears and the API have NOTHING to do with circ or vax.
I go with API definition of AP and practice that with both.

As I have two girls, I am not touching the circ discussion at all.

My first cried for 10 hours a day for 6 weeks. She was and is very intense and high needs and loving and intelligent and glorious and very, very needy. They are what they are.

#2 is much mellower.
post #73 of 112
All have gone through fussy phases and calmer phases. I thought all kids did, more or less. Generally, ds1 is my "loud" kid (from early infancy onward), while dd1, ds2, and dd2 are my "quieter" kids, but they have all had loud days and ds1 has had quiet days...
post #74 of 112
DD had a gentle birth - vaginal birth, short labor/pushing, no problems.
Circ not an issue
Some vax - mostly fully vaxed through twelve months.
She didn't want to co-sleep at night until about nine months, but napped on me during the day, and was worn most of her waking hours the first 12 mos
Breastfed on cue, but I have tubular breasts, so we have to supplement (and are now pumping)
No CIO, but there were a couple of times where I had to leave the room and just let her cry for a few minutes while I got myself together.

She was "fussy" by your definition in late afternoon for a couple of months, but was pretty "easy" the rest of the time. In fact, someone today commented on how calm and "well-behaved" my baby seemed compared to hers (two days older than mine).

However, she is very intense when she doesn'tget her way (ah, toddler-hood)
post #75 of 112
I did it all and I got one of each. Ds was the easiest going baby ever. Dd cries a lot. But, she also laughs a lot. She just has big emotions.
post #76 of 112
Btw my second baby was the only one born at home, gently in the water, and she is the one who was the fussy one! My grandpa and dad always teased me about it, saying hospital babies were easier @@
post #77 of 112
I did it all and got some of each. I mostly got the calm kind of babies but my youngest, 13 months, is a very high maintenance person. Like a PP said, he has very big emotions. He laughs his little head off at the littlest things, he gives giant hugs and kisses, expresses gratitude frequently... and cries a lot.
post #78 of 112
We did everything on the list, and honestly - my baby doesn't cry. He may fuss for 10 seconds right before falling asleep, but he very rarely actually cries. He is extremely happy and content.
post #79 of 112
dd didn't cry until she was six weeks old. now, depending on what's going on (teething, etc) she has fussy spurts. everyone comments on how happy she is. i know the next one is going to be different, and I'm preparing for it

we do all the ap stuff.
post #80 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post

I would say that circing is most definitely not nurturing touch.
If you look at API and Sears, circing is not explicitly AP. There are specific statements saying that API takes no position.
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