Please reassure me.... - Page 2

[getting_there]

If your kids have been in daycare and you have had others watch them but are getting a bad feeling about this one person, it would be a cold day before I would let that person be alone with my child.

[blazer]

I think as lond as you are truely are open and respect your partners opposite view and can discuss it sanely, then yes still stick to your gut. I just think that your partners views are also valid and need to be heard.

[KBecks]

Yep. Better to err on the side of caution.

[mommy2abigail]

Just another vote for trusting your instincts. I will not leave my dd with my IL's. They are really nice and all, but 1.I don't trust that they can make good decisions/judgement calls especially in case of an emergency and 2.I don't agree with their parenting style, which if left with dd alone, they would be somewhat in charge and I am not comfortable with that. My IL's have never mentioned it to ME< but I know they've asked dh about it, and he's asked me about it. He (of course) thinks his parents are perfect and would be fine with dd. I'm not doubting she would be FINE, but I'm not ok with FINE. I'm very protective about how people speak, treat and relate to her. I feel that, at just 2.5 she still needs me around to advocate for her in case she needs some reassurance. Since I still have to intervene with them when we are all together, (often, not just once or twice) I'm not comfortable leaving her alone with them. It's not even 'big' stuff, it's just little things that I'm not comfortable with her having to deal with at her age. Things like teasing (even in love, she just doesn't get it yet) or 'play' threats (if you don;t give me a kiss, I'll take your princess dress back home!!) or bribes (if you want ice cream you have to give me a hug!). When she's older and more able to roll her eyes and say Yeah right! I might change my mind. But for now, she is at an age where she takes all of that seriously, and no aount of me talking to them has made them stop. So I dont trust them to keep from speaking to her like that. They also are HUGE into obedience, and while I KNOW they would never lay a hand on dd (like they did with their own kids, many spankings, from the ages of about 12 months to when FIL slapped dh across the face at 17 years) I know they would drill it in her head to obey without question, and that is NOT something I want her ever to learn.
My dd has only ever been left with my mom, who believes in GD/AP ect. and who lives with us, so dd is very familiar with her.
I've read protecting the gift and it's wonderful. Mama instincts are very very very rarely off.

[Ruthla]

Your children depend on you to protect them. Keeping them safe is WAY more important than "not hurting grandma's feelings."

[cycle]

Originally Posted by getting_there

If your kids have been in daycare and you have had others watch them but are getting a bad feeling about this one person, it would be a cold day before I would let that person be alone with my child.

I'm confused as to why it matters if her kids have ever been watched by others - she gave no indication that she is an overprotective basket case of mother.

Originally Posted by blazer

I think as lond as you are truely are open and respect your partners opposite view and can discuss it sanely, then yes still stick to your gut. I just think that your partners views are also valid and need to be heard.

If your gut is telling you that you shouldn't leave your children with a person don't, even if your partner disagrees. I think mothers have a much stronger instinct and we cannot ignore it even if people get their feelings hurt. Your children's safety is much more important.

Originally Posted by KBecks

Yep. Better to err on the side of caution.

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Your children depend on you to protect them. Keeping them safe is WAY more important than "not hurting grandma's feelings."

Listen to your gut momma!

[A&A]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Your children depend on you to protect them. Keeping them safe is WAY more important than "not hurting grandma's feelings."

True! I just needed reminding. And dh and I aren't really fighting about this; we just slightly disagree. He's certainly willing to let me take the lead on this (because I feel strongly about it.)

[angelpie545]

Another vote to trust your instincts. It's given to us for a reason. If you feel in your gut that something is off, go with it. Feelings may be hurt, but they can be repaired. You child's safety is priceless.

[Nan'sMom]

Originally Posted by A&A

Please reassure me that I should follow my gut about who should or should not babysit my children (including grandparents). I know I'm right to err on the side of caution, but my dh and I are having a small disagreement about it. I'm sorry I can't post more details. Just FTR, no one is "cut out" of their lives; they still get to see the grandparents plenty, just with me around, too.

Follow your instincts. Your gut is telling you something important. And there is no big downside with not leaving them along with the non-trusted people (although maybe it is inconvenient), whereas the potential downside of not following your instincts could be pretty large.

[Xoe]

Are you getting tired of people saying follow your instincts yet? Because all I'm going to do is chime in and say the same. I don't leave my DD1 at my mother's house, or at certain friends houses.... But she can stay with two of my neighbors. I'm not arbitrary--- I have reasons for why I feel the way I do. My gut also said "no sleepovers" before this kid was even born. But that's just me.

xoe