How did you help your shy/sensitive/reticent child flourish? - Page 2

[crazydiamond]

Originally Posted by crwilson

I've been lurking on this thread for a bit, and I wanted to ask all of you with introverted children a few questions. As you can see from my signature, dd is almost a year old, and I was wondering when you started noticing introverted tendencies in your lo?

DD has been timid around other people since she was born; now that she's getting older she no longer cries when strangers (or grandparents!) look at her, but she does NOT want other people to touch or hold her. She does warm up to people, but it takes awhile, and she "shuts down" around people she doesn't know. She is very happy, outgoing, and loving with dp and me, but when others enter her space, or she enters theirs, she becomes very quiet, observant, if not withdrawn.

My mom says that this is because she doesn't see other people very often. Dp and I both work, but we alternate schedules so that she's basically only with us. She doesn't see other people that often, and she isn't cared for by other people at all. I tend to think, however, that this is part of her personality and that it doesn't necessarily have to do with her lack of exposure to lots of people and caregivers.

Since she's so young, I don't want to assume too much about her predispositions, but at the same time, I do want to be attentive to her signals. I feel guilty for not providing her with more exposure to others, and I feel guilty when she won't respond to people or let them come near her. At the same time, I'm introverted, and I remember being a little kid wishing that adults would just leave me alone until I got to know them better. Thank you for any feedback!

As I said above, my DD is 32 mos, but I noticed her personality before she was 1.

I honestly think your DD is just expressing her personality. I don't think it's anything you've done. I have several friends who stayed at home with little contact with other people and their kids definitely are extroverted! I mean, they're bouncing off the walls, clamoring to go outside, etc. They jump into new situations, can be "daredevils" and generally have a lot more outward energy. And my DD, although she's been in daycare (and thus around other children and adults) since 3 mos old, she's still the way she is.

I think that in the long run it's good to take our sensitive children out and around other people, though, provided that it's still within their comfort zones. Sometimes even just a trip to the store and having the cashier say hi is enough. Other times, a trip to the park would be good too, just to see and be around other children without the pressure to play with them. I'm not insinuating that you don't, though! This was just some musings. . .ways we can help our children to adapt to the world without pushing them too far.

I wouldn't feel guilty at all.

[girlsmamma2]

I too am so loving reading this thread. But jesh I wish all our kids were in the same class! It's so hard to have the only child like this in the class or heck almost the school! My dd spends so much time "dealing" with the other kids. My other two dc are not nearly as sensitive so I think that helps her deal with differing personalities but it's so hard. Greatly reassuring to hear especialy similiar stories and stories of older HS's!

It's the most wonderful gift to have a HS child. I have known that from the start. Love it! Love the stories!

[Imogen]

Originally Posted by WuWei

"Raising Your Introverted Child": http://www.child.com/child/story.jht...introverts.xml It is from the mainstream "Child" magazine. But had some well documented information. (There are 8 "pages" to the short article.)





HTH, Pat

Thanks so much for this article.

Peace

[crwilson]

Originally Posted by crazydiamond

As I said above, my DD is 32 mos, but I noticed her personality before she was 1.

I honestly think your DD is just expressing her personality. I don't think it's anything you've done. I have several friends who stayed at home with little contact with other people and their kids definitely are extroverted! I mean, they're bouncing off the walls, clamoring to go outside, etc. They jump into new situations, can be "daredevils" and generally have a lot more outward energy. And my DD, although she's been in daycare (and thus around other children and adults) since 3 mos old, she's still the way she is.

I think that in the long run it's good to take our sensitive children out and around other people, though, provided that it's still within their comfort zones. Sometimes even just a trip to the store and having the cashier say hi is enough. Other times, a trip to the park would be good too, just to see and be around other children without the pressure to play with them. I'm not insinuating that you don't, though! This was just some musings. . .ways we can help our children to adapt to the world without pushing them too far.

I wouldn't feel guilty at all.

Thank you! I think that you're right about taking our children out within their comfort zone. You confirmed what I thought was true, which was that dd is expressing her personality, not that I've scarred her for life by moving an entire 5 hours away from my mother. I sometimes have a difficult time trusting myself though.

And, Pat I also really enjoyed the article.