January dating thread!!!! - Page 5

[cycle]

Originally Posted by Zeta

smooching is awesome! So's a good dinner..and a man who can cook. Is this your first post-separation smooch?

Yay for you BugMacGee!

Yes, I miss smooching. A man who can cook is priceless!

Originally Posted by Zeta

Oh yay, BelovedK! Sounds like a new type may be in order. Hopefully he'll be smart enough to know what a catch you are...if not HIS LOSS! I am glad you felt comfortable, that's a great sign.

Yes, Beloved, a new "type" may be in order.

Originally Posted by BelovedK

He just emailed me, he wants to see me again

There were no intense fireworks, but it seems like a thing that will heat up once he makes a move towards me. I am hoping to find out

Oh, this morning, another guy emailed me through match. He seems like someone I want to meet. I am not closing myself off until I am definitely in a relationship. I do like R though, I am not good at this sort of thing.

Great - you must have liked him despite the lack of fireworks, so go with it and see what happens...but keep you options open for sure!

[mmace]

I learned through experience that fireworks can come later and still be spectacular. I started dating my sweetheart at the end of May and I remember telling my friend "He's not 'the one', but it's nice to have a friend I can do things with sometimes." We kept seeing each other, but never even kissed until August - - - and then let me tell you, the fireworks happened! We've been together almost eight months now, and I still smile when he calls me, I still get that funny feeling in my tummy when he gives me "that look", and my toes still curl when we kiss. Not having fireworks on the first date should not worry you at all!

AND I have also completely gone against "my type" with him. My x is 6 foot, 210ish pounds, blonde hair, blue eyes, clean shaved. My sweetheart is 5'2" (he claims!), 150 pounds, dark hair, dark eyes, scruffy face, has a tatoo and a Harley - never would have guessed I'd be dating a guy like him, but I guess "my type" has changed!

[Zeta]

Originally Posted by BelovedK

He just emailed me, he wants to see me again

Awesome! I know you were feeling a little uncertain as to whether the interest was mutual. Nice to know it was! I am happy for you. So what's next?

[BelovedK]

Well, my puter has to go in 4 repairs (screen going dark) I wont be able to get his lovely morning emails (that cheer me in the AM) I won't be around here either if anyone should need me. I think we are going to see each other this week, I hope so. I have a good feeling, it will be nice to have someone to do things with, and it has been so long for me.

[Zeta]

BelovedK I know you're offline, but I am thinking about you and hoping you have had a chance to meet this intriguing new man again. Hope all is good for you!

[BelovedK]

Well? I am one man closer to meeting someone who will be viable to date

R never called me or emailed me, oh well, his loss. I think he may have felt self conscious or something.

I was contacted y another man from match.com, he seems nice, and we have a date set up for tonight (he asked) welllll...have I heard from him? not a thing. He actually seemed really nice through our communications, his interests jived with mine, the age was right, we were emailing frequently, then once we had a plan, he stops contacting me. I just don't get it.

I DO believe that everything happens for a reason and this guy would've just been a waste of my time, so I am not stressed out by it, it's just, well, jeez.

I am not giving up, I know it is going to happen, but this is really sort of funny, I should write a book.

[Zeta]

Oh BelovedK, you have had such a streak of bad luck with men. I am so sorry! Did you contact R after your initial meeting, or did neither of you get in touch afterwards?

Well you certainly have the right attitude. I do have a way of pining after a man who is not interested, but you are so lucky to really *get* it that he wasn't the one for you if he doesn't think he is.

Boy, the universe must be preparing you for something great. Maybe a great man. Maybe a great book! Hang in there mama.

[singlemomof4]

Single 27 yr old mom of four children aged 14 mths -8 1/2 yrs old. Having heck of a time meeting a man willing to accept my children as part of me but not meant to be their responsibility....Any ideas? Feeling very intimidating to men right now....and furthermore intimidated by even approaching them. I am wondering if there will ever be a man who can and will take us for what we are

[mz_libbie22]

Originally Posted by singlemomof4

Single 27 yr old mom of four children aged 14 mths -8 1/2 yrs old. Having heck of a time meeting a man willing to accept my children as part of me but not meant to be their responsibility....Any ideas? Feeling very intimidating to men right now....and furthermore intimidated by even approaching them. I am wondering if there will ever be a man who can and will take us for what we are

You'll find him. I have those nagging doubts too, so I can relate.




Well, I am having such horrible luck, and it's about to get worse...I think I'm developing a crush on this incredibly adorable (think Tom Cruise in Jerry Macguire...complete with piercing blue eyes *drool*), super sweet, single dad. I also have been told that he said I'm attractive. The problem??







well...........
















He's my boss.

I know, I know...

*sigh*

[BelovedK]

Well, he called AND emailed me. it turns out that he didn't get my email until tonight and he thought zi hadn't responded to him. I will give this another chance, he sounds nice and he was sincerely upset that he got my message so late (it was through match, from now on we are doing regular email)


Seriously folks, I deserve a break. It's been one thing after another, I am due for some nice things

[robinchap1]

Beloved K: Good luck and fill us in on how it goes! I really admire your perspective.

That's what I'm here to ramble about tonight... my own perspective. I've still been really up and down and anxious feeling about this guy. I saw him tonight and had a really great time, as I always do. But I had to cut the evening much shorter than usual because of childcare issues. As I drove away I felt happy, tingly... all that. And I felt like it was mutual and we'd go out again soon, as he implied. Then, somehow in the 15 minutes it took me to get home I started wondering if the kiss wasn't good for him... I was anxious about getting home to my sitter so maybe I wasn't focused enough. And maybe I won't hear from him for a long time again and I won't know if he wants to see me or not. And I wish he'd offered up a specific time so I could start working on childcare... and will he email or call tomorrow to tell me he had a good time. Are you getting the idea here? I'm like crazy/obsessive/anxious. I just can't seem to relax and let things happen. And I started wondering why. I mean, what's the very worst thing... he doesn't really like me and things don't work out. Sure, that would make me sad. But come on, I only met the guy a month ago. I won't be any worse off than I am now and I'll have had some fun dates. And if he doesn't like me, then he's not the right guy for me. And also... why so anxious to make plans immediately. If things move slow, so what? What am I in such a hurry for?

I think this is REALLY really wrapped up in feelings of rejection. My xh left me for another woman. And has said some not very nice things to me in the past that while I know logically are not true, I think have stuck with me. And the last guy I really fell for before xh was never really that into me. We were sort of friends with benefits and I wanted more and he didn't and while he was a good guy, it wasn't good for my self esteem. And I kind of sort of got involved with one guy last year who kept seeking me out, then when I returned interest, would retreat. It has been a very long time since anyone has been REALLY into me. And I don't even know if xh was ever as really into me as I thought...I think I may have just been a conquest to him.

This guy I've been dating... I really like him. I love the way he talks about his kids, his job, his perspective on stuff. I admire his life choices. I love that he thinks about his past relationship and analyzes what went wrong. I find him very attractive... both cute and sexy. I love the way he kisses.

I don't think I'm SO desperate to be in a relationship or in such a huge rush for that. I think I just feel really anxious about what he thinks of me. I think I feel like he couldn't possibly be as into me. I think what I'm in a rush for is to NOT FEEL this awful insecurity. I think I worry that there's something wrong with me. I don't really think of myself as such an insecure person... but this dating thing has REALLY brought this out in me.

As as long as I'm rambling here. I also have a bad case of "one wrong move sydrome!" I constantly think I have ruined everything by calling or not calling. By saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment. By letting on how much I like him or not letting on enough.

It's all very tiring!

So... what do I do with this? It's not really something logic would cure. I certainly know what I'd say to any of you. I would just like to be able to relax and enjoy this. To pick up the phone and call him if I feel like it. To not get so knotted up inside if he doesn't call. To not question and obsess about every little thing. To just wait and see without obsessing, you know? And to not feel like it would be so devastating if it turned out that he wasn't that into me.

Sorry this was so long... thanks for reading!

[BelovedK]

((((hugs))))

That sounds difficult. Usually when I have a bad feeling, I try to relax and just feel it, and try to turn my thoughts over to the great mystery (or the Universe, whatever you call it) It is comforting to be able to turn ove my worries and focus on the fact that all thigs are happening in the way they are happening for a reason.

The more you dwell on your worries, the more likely they are to come true (in my belief)
((((hugs))))

[singlemomof4]

Thanks so much for encouragement Funnily enough thinking that maybe just maybe I should have stopped looking in all the wrong places to begin with and try something new-b/c now this is where i might find him.

Cannot imagine what a spot it must be for you with regards to your boss-
I am picturing now Jerry McGuire....mmmmm Yum!

[Zeta]

Dear Universe: BelovedK really really needs a break. Please give her a sign. If it's not going to be this guy for her, let her know quickly so she doesn't have to waste her time and get her hopes up. Again. You've been good about giving her signs quickly, Universe, I'll give you that. The only thing is, Universe, that that was rather a loonnnnnnnng string of new men with quick bad signs, Universe. I mean, I guess what I'm saying is, either give her a good man, or give her a break. Preferably a good man. Please? Because otherwise it's just getting a bit sick, yk? Thanks, Universe. I knew you'd understand.


robinchap1 that sounds like a lot of anxiety, sweetie. I can relate. I think it is made worse by the fact (am i right?) that he tends to let a few days go passed without contacting you, and you are reluctant to contact him? The less information, the more of a free reign for your anxious imagination. Hopefully as you two get more comfortable with each other, more regular contact can start up and you can breathe more. In the meantime I really feel compassion for your plight. Hang in there.

[Zeta]

Originally Posted by mz_libbie22

He's my boss.

I know, I know...

*sigh*

Can you quit?




Sometimes the life of a single mom can seem like a bad joke.

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by Zeta

Dear Universe: BelovedK really really needs a break. Please give her a sign. If it's not going to be this guy for her, let her know quickly so she doesn't have to waste her time and get her hopes up. Again. You've been good about giving her signs quickly, Universe, I'll give you that. The only thing is, Universe, that that was rather a loonnnnnnnng string of new men with quick bad signs, Universe. I mean, I guess what I'm saying is, either give her a good man, or give her a break. Preferably a good man. Please? Because otherwise it's just getting a bit sick, yk? Thanks, Universe. I knew you'd understand.

[BugMacGee]

BelovedK-sending positive thoughts your way.

Same with singlemomof4

[singlemomof4]

So Friday night I met up with a man, I had been talking to him for a while online and there was just this....ohh.....connection! I have never laughed so hard in talking to a stranger ever before, he was charming, flirty,whitty and to top it all of he's best described as someone crossing between handsome and hot hahaha
He calls me this same night while we're talking online and this is usually something I never do (give # out,let alone give it out to strangers). He calls me and yet again right off the bat he has me laughing hysterically! This is something foreign to me as my children make me laugh and smile everyday but nont like a man who makes you feel warm and tingly like you've known them forever does! then his phone dies! We continue to talk online, then decided crazy for both of us nearly midnight and instead of saying good night and going offline he should come over! I had no clue what I was thinking, but something about this guy just feels so right!

He comes over, and he is nothing short of wonderfully amusing and quirky and sweet and having me come out of my shell I have hidden in for the last 9 yrs, he had me actually NOT thinking before I responded and just saying and doing what came natural. I felt like such a school girl, giddy and nervous. We watched a movie...wel no wait...we watched an hour or so of a movie and snuggled on my very small love seat the entire time.
It felt like we have known eachother forever! So the fact that while my four lil ones slept soundly in their beds I was snuggling in my livingroom with someone I had only met that night really wasn't crossing my mind.
By half way point in the movie he had kissed me and OMG all over woosh of butterflies came through my entire body! I have NEVER felt this! Honestly. I was inlove with the idea of being loved and inlove while with my ex so actually feeling emotion at just a kiss is a huge deal for me!

Sooo when our evening turns itself into the wee morning hours we finally say Goodnight and he leaves with a reminder of the night we had, kissing me and smiling, looking at me telling me he will call me or talk to me online tomorrow, then kisses me goodnight again. I went to my bed, and felt on cloud nine...

but then last night I think somewhere around 7pm I started to slip off cloud nine and began analyzing, over thinking and wondering why he had'nt called yet..... I have talked to pretty much every gf of mine and all have said same to me-"you have his number too? so call him already!" and i did, leaving a message and rambling like an idiot (nervous habit)
Shortly after I fell asleep on my couch. I woke this morning to see that he hadn't called while i was sleeping, but then now getting all worked up in thinking -maybe he changed his mind? Which is crazy! But this is a lil devulgement into my personality-I worry! (about silly things to boot)

Any of you there who can empathize with an already confused single woman please give me all the reassurance I can get! Before I go out of my mind over here thinking it was something I did rather than he was probably just caught up and forgot!

[robinchap1]

Singlemomof4: What a magical evening! Let us know when you hear from him. I totally understand your anxiety (in case you haven't read my neurotic posts!). This dating stuff is SO hard, and most of us single moms are a little (or a lot!) extra vulnerable, I think. Usually the kind of connection you are describing, I think, is mutual. I'd be very surprised if you don't hear from him. There could be all kinds of explanations (including exhaustion from being up all night!). I think it's GREAT that you called him. Good for you. Try to relax and breathe and go about your day and give it another day or so. And keep us posted! It's happened to me a couple of times with this guy I've been seeing. We'll have this amazing, fantastic evening and I'll expect to hear from him very soon and I don't. I start to think he must just not be that into me (or, like you, that I did something wrong) and then he'll call and ask me out again and it starts all over!

Beloved K and Zeta: Thank you for your support and encouragement. I actually feel better having vented all that and thought about where some of this insecurity must be coming from. Yes, Zeta, you are correct. The longer I don't hear from him, the more my crazy, over-thinking mind takes off! I'm trying to just take it one day at a time and work on ways to improve how I'm feeling about myself within me, not related to what a guy thinks, you know?

By the way... wtf does "warm regards" mean??? When a guy signs an email like that?

[singlemomof4]

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR SUPPORT! You and I are VERY alike in thinking I see lol

He emailed me!!!! Just this morning. He saw that i had called last night but said that he didn't answer phone to anyone.
I feel all happy happy happy again! Just waiting another ten minutes or so til anxiety sets in lol
He has alot going on with work and home that he needs to get dealt with but said in message he had GREAT time Friday night too

He said he wants to sort out what he can and will be in touch soon.

Keep you posted on what happens out of this