Would you charge a friend for babysitting?

[DevaMajka]

Is it wierd for me to charge my friend/neighbor to babysit her kids?

She has 2 kids, 2yo and 4yo, and I have one 3yo. I've told her not to pay me when it's just the 4yo- he and my ds play together really well, and have fun with each other. That happens once a week, maybe more.
But when it's both kids, it seems like a lot of work to me. They are both great kids, and I like them both, etc. It's just a lot of work! lol. I watch both kids maybe once or twice a week, for a few hours each time.

I don't have much need for her to watch my ds. I'm a homebody, and dp is home enough to watch ds if I need to do something. In the last few months, I've asked her to watch him twice, for about an hour each time. So 'trading' babysitting wouldn't be useful to me.

So, wwyd? Charge the going rate? Charge, but less than the going rate? Not charge at all?
If it matters, we need the money.

[jeca]

how often is she asking you to watch them?

[DevaMajka]

once or twice a week, on average, I'd say. For 3-4 hours or so each time.

[EVC]

If it is a regular thing, then I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to expect payment.

[getting_there]

I think if it is a regular thing then it is not a bad thing to charge if it were only every once in a while I would not charge.

[Ceili]

Originally Posted by getting_there

I think if it is a regular thing then it is not a bad thing to charge if it were only every once in a while I would not charge.

:

I watch my friend's daughter several days a week during the school year and she pays me on a per day basis. During the summer when it's more infrequent I don't charge her.

[MoonStarFalling]

If it's a regular thing I would charge. I would charge half the going rate for a friend.

[eclipse]

If it's a regular thing, and you aren't trading off, I don't think it's weird. I have no idea what I would charge, though. Maybe a barter, if she has a skill you are lacking (like sewing or helping you start a garden or clean your garage or something)

[Flor]

Originally Posted by Ceili

:

I watch my friend's daughter several days a week during the school year and she pays me on a per day basis. During the summer when it's more infrequent I don't charge her.

I paid my mom when it was 3x a week 8-12, but if I just called her up and asked her to watch ds while we go to the movies, then no charge. I guess the only other thing I might take into account is finacial situtions. Like, is she struggling to make ends meet and you are well off and this could really help her out? Or, you are struggling and she's out shopping? Or, you guys are relatively equal? Do you need the money? I might have different answers for those situations, so I'm not sure I can give a good answer.

[ann_of_loxley]

I wouldnt if there was some other sort of exchange going on - like a babysitting service. As in you babysit for her and in return she babysits for you. But I would if it was very uneven (not as in keeping track of every mintue) but say you only ever babysitted her children and she never did for you or only did every once in a blue moon as then it really is taking from your time.

[Imogen]

I wouldn't charge a close friend anything

Peace

[towsonmama]

You need to decide if watching her kids for free is going to cause you to build resentment toward her. If so, there should be some kind of payment. I'm more in favor of bartering than cash exchange among friends. If you're not both happy with the arrangement, the friendship will definitely suffer.

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

My best friend kept my newborn for me when I went back to teaching part-time; it was only three days a week for 2 hours at a time, but it was a HUGE lifesaver for me. I wanted to pay her (though money was tight for us at the time) and she said no-- maybe I would do the same for her one day. I thought this was SO nice, and as it happens, 9 mos later *she* had a new baby and was moving, so I have watched her kids for her for a few hours at a time while she unpacks, etc. I did often buy her lunch and bring it back to the house for her while she was watching my DD. Maybe if your friend asks you could suggest something like that? Though I would have been happy to pay her, it might have made me uncomfortable had she *asked* me to pay her.

[almama]

Since you could use the money and don't mind the playdates with the older child, but do mind when the younger one is thrown in, I would approach by first differentiating between the two with your friend.

Let her know that you don't mind watching the younger one in an emergency (if you don't), but you would like to keep the playdates just between the older kids. Tell her you feel tapped out when the younger one is around and if she would like to make it a regular thing, you would consider working as a paid babysitter for her. That way she won't feel she needs to pay you for the playdates, but would expect to pay when she asks you to watch the younger one.

Also, is there anything else you could trade with her that you need? Maybe she is tight for money too?

[Ilovelife]

It sounds like it is a regular thing, so I don't think it's weird at all for her to pay you for watching the kids. I have done mostly trading (I watch friends' kids and they watch mine....as needed) but you said you don't need that. I've also watched a friend's child in exchange for her providing snack for the morning. She brings snack for all of us. That saves me not only the $$ for the snack, but also the work of prepping it. I agree with others that you don't want to feel resentment or it will hurt your friendship.

[LotusBirthMama]

I watch a friend's 3 yo DS about 2x a week, but for about 8 hours each day. I don't charge them anything. We have an agreement to trade off babysitting but I usually don't have any need to take them up on it. They do nice things for me though, like a subscription to a magazine or yummy granola. I would feel weird taking their money b/c I know they are struggling just like I am. But, I don't think it would be bad to take money either.

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by Flor

I guess the only other thing I might take into account is finacial situtions.

It's hard to judge someone else's financial situation, but I think it's safe to say that they are *much* better off than we are.

Originally Posted by Imogen

I wouldn't charge a close friend anything

Peace

I've known her for a few months. When she started asking me to watch her kids, we weren't close, and she just started paying me the going rate.

I don't mind watching both of her kids. It just taps me out (I'm sensitive to noise), and I probably would resent watching them for free all the time.

Perhaps I will tell her to pay me less. Seems like a good middle ground to me. She hasn't ever seemed to mind paying me. It never even occurred to me that it might be wierd to be paid until another friend said she might find it awkward.

Though, obviously, if it were a rare thing, or if it were a friend who was struggling financially, I wouldn't expect money.

[IlluminatedAttic]

Before we moved I used to watch my best friend's dd and was paid for it. It was a pre-arranged schedule one day a week when she went to her office. However, our kids were best friends and we spent lots of time together so there were many other times when we traded or just did each other favors.

Perhaps you could do something similar and arrange a preset schedule for when you will have both boys and be paid, but then just have play dates the rest of the time? If her requests are often last minute this may be adding to your stress and a schedule will make that better as well.

[cotopaxi]

Wait, so she's already paying you? I'd just keep it as it is now then! If that's the arrangement you started out with, I'd stick with it, even if you've become closer now. I wouldn't tell her to pay you less!

I've been on both sides of this, and I haven't really found it weird. Okay, maybe a little, just at the moment that the $$ is exchanging hands, but the truth is that giving someone that much of your time and effort every single week would have made me/the other person (when it was them doing me the favor) resentful. And then me/ the other person would have to find someone else to do it, pay them probably even more, and be less happy about it.

If you've become closer friends, then great; it makes babysitter more fun for you since you geniunely enjoy the kids, and it makes it better for the other mama too because she feels secure leaving her LOs with someone she likes enough to befriend herself. Everyone wins. And especially since you say you need the money and you think they're better-off than you - don't shortchange yourself!

[Flor]

I didn't realize she was already paying. Do you feel weird? It seems like everyone's happy with the situation!