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anyone know about custody,plz help! - Page 6

post #101 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
Yes, Flor. I called for a couple days. Then it was made clear that he had no intentions of bringing her back until after court. So I just stopped calling, per my attorney. But yes, it is all documented.
Just wondering-- how are the calls documented? Just phone records? Isn't there any written way to document that you are requesting time? He can say you called about something else, right? We have lots of issues with documentation. Personlly, I'd have my lawyer send his lawyer a letter saying I want to see the child on this date.
post #102 of 172
Thread Starter 
My lawyer faxed and wrote a letter to his attorney requesting that he return the baby as per the terms of the agreement.
post #103 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
I feel confident with what my lawyer is doing. I just basically wondered if anyone had any experience with unsigned "agreements" . The letter has all our names and the dates/times and my former attorneys signature. It was copied to each of us as well as the GAL. I just hope that even though it wasn't a court order that it will hold some worth.
I would say it'll depend on what ex's lawyer has up his sleeve. If ex's lawyer says "yeah, we knew about and agreed to it at the time" then the Judge will believe it. However, I highly doubt that'll happen. More likely than not, ex's lawyer will probably claim he (ex) never agreed to it. Afterall- he didn't sign it. And who says all lawyers are honest? I would be willing to bet ex's lawyer argues that they never agreed to it. Which will suck for you so, hopefully, having the GAL on your side on whether he agreed to it will work out for you. But I can't guarantee that.

I can tell you what happened in my situation.... ex took me to court. Judge ordered me physical custody, joint legal custody and ex having visitation (small, leading up to overnights as ds was ready.... he was 8 months at the time). Since ex was the one to take me to court, his lawyer was supposed to write up the paperwork for the Judge to sign. You would not believe the crap they tried to pass in the paperwork. First, they dragged their feet for months. During that time I did allow ex to see ds, but he was late a lot, didn't show a lot, etc. He saw ds for an hour, at most. However, he got his lawyer to put in the paperwork that he hadn't missed any visits (lie number 1), everything had been great and ds had adjusted great (#2 as ds was returned early to me many times screaming/crying), that there had been no smoking in the car ex was driving ds around in (#3... it was court ordered that ds wasn't to be in a vehicle/house that had been smoked in. I had caught ex on more than one occaision smoking in the car), that the Judge had ordered ex 12 hours uninterrupted time on Thanksgiving (#4, Judge said nothing about Thanksgiving and, at that time, ex had only taken ds for 1 HOUR at a time. He wanted to jump from 1 hour to 12 hours), that the Judge had ordered a 24 hour overnight over Christmas (#5), that starting in January he would be getting every other weekend plus Wednesday nights (#6) and I'm sure there's others I've missed (this was 3 years ago now). Fortunately my lawyer stood up for me and called ex's lawyer on all the lies and the Judge refused to sign it until it was actually what he ordered.

All that to say.... please be prepared for ex and his lawyer to tell lie after lie after lie. My ex sat in front of the Judge and lied to him. Fortunately the Judge knew both of us personally (small town) and called him on the lies. But if your ex and his lawyer are good liars....

Just please be prepared for the worst. Make sure your lawyer will fight for you and that baby.

Good luck.
post #104 of 172
Thread Starter 
Everything you are saying makes perfect sense.

I just don't know how he will get out of it by saying there was no agreement when he followed half the schedule per the terms of the letter before taking off with her .... Then there are the two attorneys and the GAL who all were aware of the agreement, who will be there to testify if need be.
post #105 of 172
Thread Starter 
One thing I forgot to mention...

They offered to bring the baby back the other day.. IF i would agree to joint custody and settle outside of court.

My lawyer is going to stress this to the judge and the GAL that they were using or attempting to use the baby as a pawn to get what they wanted. Which is why he decided to keep her to begin with.

I don't think I mentioned that previously.
post #106 of 172
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post #107 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
Everything you are saying makes perfect sense.

I just don't know how he will get out of it by saying there was no agreement when he followed half the schedule per the terms of the letter before taking off with her .... Then there are the two attorneys and the GAL who all were aware of the agreement, who will be there to testify if need be.
Well, he could try to say that he knew OF the agreement and he was trying to follow it but felt your dd wasn't handling it well and needed a stable home. His home. Since he never signed the agreement he wasn't legally obligated to follow it. But, I agree, logically he should be getting into trouble for what he did. It doesn't mean it'll happen though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
One thing I forgot to mention...

They offered to bring the baby back the other day.. IF i would agree to joint custody and settle outside of court.

My lawyer is going to stress this to the judge and the GAL that they were using or attempting to use the baby as a pawn to get what they wanted. Which is why he decided to keep her to begin with.

I don't think I mentioned that previously.
Now *this* little bit of info could come in handy in court. Do you have proof of the offer? Written offer? Verbal? Do you have any way to prove this offer to the Judge or is it a "he said/she said" situation?
post #108 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
One thing I forgot to mention...

They offered to bring the baby back the other day.. IF i would agree to joint custody and settle outside of court.

My lawyer is going to stress this to the judge and the GAL that they were using or attempting to use the baby as a pawn to get what they wanted. Which is why he decided to keep her to begin with.

I don't think I mentioned that previously.

Now this is really interesting. If this offer was made to your lawyer (and not just to you by ex as others have asked) then they made a HUGE mistake. Judges don't take kindly to extortion, and this was emotional extortion to say the least. I hope and pray they were dumb enough to offer this to your attorney and not just to you. If just to you, sadly, they can claim you are lying and they never said any such thing. As people have said though, bring copies of every scrap of evidence and documentation you have even if you handed it to your lawyer already. And organize it clearly so you can get it and had it to your attorney in a matter of seconds if the attorney fails to produce or bring it up. I too experienced my friend's attorney not bringing all the letters/emails/documents that would have rebutted the lies that her ex and his lawyer told.

post #109 of 172
Thread Starter 
HIS lawyer offered it to my lawyer.

My lawyer told me about it, as well as the GAL. My lawyer is claiming that they are trying to use the baby as a pawn to get what they want custody wise.
post #110 of 172
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post #111 of 172
Thread Starter 
OK i have a final meeting with him tomorrow afternoon to go over everything. I won't have to say much I don't believe since it is a pretrial I've been told that the judge doesn't want to hear a whole lot out of everyone
But I am going to ask that he make sure he brings that up to the judge (i'm sure he probably already is going to )
post #112 of 172
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post #113 of 172
Thread Starter 
Yes,that's the first thing my lawyer did when he didn't return her.He filed a motion for emergency temporary custody and visitation. I have a copy of it and it sounds very good.
post #114 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
HIS lawyer offered it to my lawyer.

My lawyer told me about it, as well as the GAL. My lawyer is claiming that they are trying to use the baby as a pawn to get what they want custody wise.
As bad as this whole thing is- that is actually really good! I hope you're lawyer kept some documentation of this and uses it in court. That should really help you.
post #115 of 172
Morning, i am glad to hear about the extortion attempt. That will be a great thing for your side of the case. In fact you can now prove he is showing all the signs of Parental Alienation Syndrome and he is not the suitable parent for physical custody. Push for this to be used in the case.
post #116 of 172
Thread Starter 
Yes, I'm feeling confident and trying to stay positive. Won't be much longer.

I know there is actually no way to predict and I won't know anything for sure until Thursday but does anyone have any opinions, based on all the facts I've told you, how this may turn out .... Some have said I should prepare for the worst. Which is almost impossible to do,but if it's a strong possibility I need to think about that as well.

So what are your opinions to what may happen.... and even what your opinion on the 'worst case scenerio'
post #117 of 172
It is really,really hard to gauge at this point. I think the agreement will have no effect since it was something that was never signed by him. I do think the judge will not be happy with him taking a 7 month old baby and not allowing the mother any access to the baby in a 9 day period because this exhibits PAS syndrome and the inability to want a fair custody order.Judges typically order in favor of the parent who is reasonable and wants both parents involved which so far sounds like you. My guess would be physical custody to you and maybe one overnight a week and two daytime visits a week for him or every other weekend overnights with 2 day visits during the week.This can totally vary but since the baby isn't breastfed and the dad already has shown he can handle overnights then i think they could very well be granted. I think if the criminal history/your PO and the pictures you speak of in addition to the recent event of him taking the baby and attempting extortion were pushed really hard in this hearing then possibly supervised visits could be temporarily set up until he seeks some counseling help.You can request that.I think you will get physical custody though.
post #118 of 172
Still thinking of you today and wishing you strength.
post #119 of 172
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much.

An update, just found out that his lawyer isn't going to be at the pretrial. I hope the judge still goes thru with the emergency motion. Otherwise... this may get put off. The GAL is still wanting her back in my custody and they are still going to try to present the evidence, don't know how much can be done at a pretrial esp. without the other attorney present.

Please pray for me.
post #120 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
Thank you so much.

An update, just found out that his lawyer isn't going to be at the pretrial. I hope the judge still goes thru with the emergency motion. Otherwise... this may get put off. The GAL is still wanting her back in my custody and they are still going to try to present the evidence, don't know how much can be done at a pretrial esp. without the other attorney present.

Please pray for me.
S&S,

Please if this judge puts this off then you should file ex parte to demand immediate relief every single day until your child is returned. Even this could be a tactic his lawyer is using (after all this is a lawyer who resorted to attempted extortion) to keep the child with dad to prove how great is he as a custodial parent. Or go stalk his mom's house until he drops your child there and go get your child from there. I will pray for you tomorrow. My friend who didn't have a lawyer with her wasn't given any grace when we went. The lawyer asked her ex what they wanted and then handed them everything they wanted. In her case, a bad thing, but maybe you will get lucky like that. It might end up fun if the judge decides to rip him a new one for his actions the last 9 days while he doesn't have a rep to defend him.
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