I'm going to say something and I'm not going to sugar coat it. You're probably not going to like it so I apologize in advance.
What the h*ll are you doing posting online? Go get in a car/bus/taxi/whatever, go to his house and GET YOUR CHILD! Seriously! Ring his doorbell and say "I'd like to see my daughter please". If he freaks out- call the police. Say you are worried about the welfare of your daughter. Actually, call the police before you get there. Say you are going to pick up your daughter and you think there will be trouble from your ex. Don't say a word about the fact there is no court order. You keep insisting they can't do anything to help- but have you tried? I would have been on his doorstep every single day with the cops until I got one that was sympathetic and helped me. There's no way in the world I would let anyone (even his biological father) take my son for over a WEEK without doing everything I could to get him back.
So it was a letter signed by who? Just your lawyer? His lawyer too? You and ex? If it was just signed by your lawyer than I have my doubts that it will hold up in court. Lawyers can be slimy people who do incredibly gross things. My ex's lawyer tried to slide a set of papers by us, to be signed by the Judge, saying the Judge ordered a ton of stuff (including overnight visits) when the Judge NEVER ordered any of those things. Just because YOUR lawyer drew up some papers and signed it, doesn't mean that ex and his lawyer agreed to them (verbally is SO much different than on paper).
He might. But even if he isn't able to claim primary caretaker he can try to prove to the Judge that he has the ability to care for the baby for at least 9 days in a row. And the baby obviously survived it. If you have a sh*tty judge it is possible they look past the fact he kidnapped her and instead order him visits.... for up to 9 days at a time. I'm sorry to be the one to say it but by not going over there the FIRST DAY he refused to give her back, you more or less said to the court "It's okay with me that he keeps her for 9 days".
Think of it this way.... take this situation with 2 different sets of people. Set A kinda whines about the fact ex took the baby, talks to lawyer and GAL about getting a closer court date but settles for whatever they told her, and then shows up in court. It is possible (not saying it's going to happen, but it's possible) the Judge sees this and decides that the mother obviously wasn't *that* concerned about the welfare of the child during those 9 days, and the baby did survive it, so she can handle 9 day visits. And then orders the baby to be at one house for 9 days, then switch to the other house for 9 days.
Set B has a mother who FLIPS OUT as soon as ex refuses to return child. She's on his doorstep every day demanding to see her child. She involves the police EVERY SINGLE DAY in trying to retrieve her. She is in the courthouse begging for help and setting up an emergency motion, even if it's without the help of her lawyer. The Judge sees this and realizes this mother is obviously very distraught and seems to have done everything in her power to get her child back, which could mean she was very concerned about the welfare of her child. In this case ex looks like the a$$ for keeping the mother from seeing the child for 9 days and is ordered supervised visits.
I would never, EVER, count on what you think a Judge will/should do. Yes, it would be nice if the Judge ripped your ex a new a-hole. But if you're sitting back counting on it.... you may be terribly surprised.
I'm sorry if this post sounds really mean. But I cannot understand at all why you are not over at ex's house right now? And yesterday and the day before....
Is your dd in daycare? Does ex work? If so, who watches DD when he's at work? In the last week he had to have left her at some point in time. It is perfectly legal for you to go to her daycare/whatever and pick her up. I don't see why you haven't?
I wish you luck, dear. I hope your dd is doing okay and can heal from this trauma.
I think you are getting really bad advice from your attorney and the GAL and that you need to do damage control. It is incredibly cruel to keep a baby from her primary caregiver abruptly.
As Steph said, do not count on the judge being fair or logical when it comes to your case. Though there are those here that will disagree, judges tend to side with fathers if they are pursuing custody regardless of the mother's relationship with the child.