what to do with my kids during labor

[hadassah]

I guess I am wondering what others have done and are planning on doing this time with your kids during your upcoming birth. Here is my situation......

My DD is 4 and my DS is 2.5 . I hadn't felt very concerned about them being in the house during the labor until my midwife pointed out that during birth I need to have as little distraction as possible. That I will need to be as focused as I can and having the kids around may make me feel that I need to tending to them, or checking on them,ect. My DH thinks that we are going to be fine. He even says that worse case would be him taking the kids outside or for a drive.......he wants nothing more than to be there for the birth but he sees doing whatever making it as easy as possible the most important.

Here is the thing because I am sure most of you are thinking well....have someone watch them? This is strange but there is really truly no one to watch them. I know that if they were to be watched there is only one person that would make me not even think about them-meaning I would trust that they are fine and therefore be able to truly focus on the birth-and that is my step mother-in-law who is out of town. Although she will be back in town this coming weekend....perfect time I think to have the baby

I am trying not to worry about this whole thing and in fact have been talking to my little ones every day about when the baby comes.....they know that I "will have owies but I will be fine and I will get better"...and that "mommy is going to get in the pond(that is what they have named the birth tub) and she is going to push ( this is where I actually make a very loud grunting noise to them) very hard and the baby is going to come out".

Anyways......any thoughts?

Thanks in advance.

I should also add that we have a very small house. I am thinking that if it's in the middle of the night I will be at one end and if it's in the day I will be at the other end so they could be in their playroom....as you can tell I have been doing A LOT of thinking and planning about this.

[happymomma]

s We have one person here to watch the kids but without her we would be totally lost. I don't have any suggestions but these things always seem to work themselves out one way or the other. Will your step mother in law be there past the weekend or only for the weekend?

[3xx1xyFamily]

I would have liked to have my DD at the birth, but we did decide against it.

1. At 14 months, she really wont gain much from the experience (had she been older, I would have had her at the house).
2. I feel like her presence would distract me from what I need to be doing.

Right now, the plan is to have MIL come pick her up. Obviously if I start labor at night, we'll let her sleep in her own bed. If it becomes to noisy or distracting, we'll plan for her to leave.
My mother will be flying in from out of state as soon as I call and say it's time and were MUCH more comfortable with my mother caring for DD than MIL, so DD will come back to the house as soon as I've delivered.

Nothing spectacular. We've tried to not set anything in stone. We have a couple back up options with friends in the event of an emergency.

[Tiffany_PartyOf5]

Id put together some sort of play pack of toys and games and stuff that they normally dont get to play with.. a few dvds and stuff... do you have a fenced in yard? Our plan since after this Saturday, my mom will be living 3 hrs away and I dont trust any of dh's family to watch my kids lol.. maybe my 4 yr old but def. not my younger ones lol.. so we have made a backpack of new toys and games and toys they normally dont get to play with, a few of their favorite dvds and a new dvd, stuff like that.. We are also praying I go into labor on a day when its sunny so we can just open up the back door and let them run wild and dh can just check in on them frequently.. our neighbors 18 yr old daughter stays at home this semester so she said we can always call her if need be to come and play with the kids or something (and i actually trust her more than my in laws lol) until my mom gets there. I may even split them up and send my 4 yr old to my in laws and keep dd and the younger ds at home and maybe call the neighbor girl to come watch them.. hopefully mom wont get caught in traffic and my labor will be longer than 3 hrs lol.. I seriously do not want anyone in my home when Im actually giving birth other than myself and dh lol.. I do feel lucky that our home is big enough that the kids can be on one side of the house and I can be on the other and you wouldnt even know that someone else is home lol... not to mention Im just terrified of freaking out my 4 yr old.. hes a sensitive child and he would freak out if i started making noises (and I know I will)

[southernmommie]

Sounds like to me that you will be fine. I won't have anyone either unless baby is overdue. My Mom comes next week for 8 days. So it's possible that my mom will be here to help. Otherwise it's just us.

[hadassah]

Thank you all so much for your "tid-bits".

I do agree, I know everything is going to somehow work itself out and we are going to be just fine. I do like the suggestion of having a pack of new things for the kids to do and play with, and a new DVD or something.....just in case we do need them in the other room busy with something.

My step mother-in-law is here this weekend and then she won't be here until early Feb.

[muttix2]

When I was considering homebirth I wasn't going to have anyone here to watch the kids. On the off chance that my midwife convinced me, I was going to have my sister come over to help out.

I'm not doing a homebirth so the kids will be watched while I go and have the baby

[ollineeba]

What about a doula specifically for the kids? If money is an issue, maybe a doula in training? Then they could help explain things to the children and help out in various ways.

[Pilgrim]

Originally Posted by ollineeba

What about a doula specifically for the kids? If money is an issue, maybe a doula in training? Then they could help explain things to the children and help out in various ways.

I was going to suggest the same thing. I've asked DD's preschool teacher to be here because we both dearly love this woman. DD is overjoyed to think she has her teacher all to herself while I'll be in labor. My DD can't be quiet for 2 seconds put together, and is in constant motion. I know I could not deal gracefully with that, but I absolutely want her present for the big birth moment, ,as does she. She wants to cut the umbilical cord.

Had I not had her teacher to ask, I would have hired a child-doula. I've met some doulas who specialize in taking care of the younger children. They do a lot of prenatal visits specifically for the kids, bring birth stuff for them to play with & such. We have no family in town. I do have lots of friends, but they all have young children, and I have no idea if any of them would be available at the drop of a hat.

[hadassah]

Wow this is so interesting, I have never heard of such a thing......

[*Erin*]

well, my 5 yr old is going to be playing with dad while i labor and birth with the midwife and her assisstant. my alternantives are to leave her with my mother or sister, neither of which i feel as good about as her being with my dh. having mother or sister in the house during birth is even a worse idea for me, so...
as much as i'd like to have dh to myself, he and i are both feeling better about him being there for dd.

[impromptukiss]

you sound like us!

last time i only had dd. she was 23mo at that time. she was pretty good, and actually having her around gave me something to do, lol. we had no one to watch her, and i would have been worried sick had we gave her to someone i didn't trust enough.

1/2 of my labor was at night, so it was easy, although she still woke a lot to nurse, but it probably helped my labor along, lol.

this time we'll have dd (4.5) and ds (2.5), and they'll be hanging around. we have movies, and toys, and a back yard, so i'm not too worried .... i did buy a boxed cake for them to help make for baby's birthday while i'm in labor ... although that kills about 10 minutes, lol!